I like yall, this has been a fun community to join
Been a reader of GRM for a LONG time, and so why not do something nice for this place
So I picked up two of these today, Im giving one away
If you want one, just say something funny, tell me a joke, post a meme...something.
In a few days I'll do a random number generator and find a winner and mail a little car down to them
An Irishman walks out of a bar.
(I'd rather someone else get the car. I just wanted to leave that here.)
Duck walks into a bar,goes to the bartender "Got any lunch?"
Bartender says "No we don't serve lunch here" Duck leaves.
Next day duck walks into bar again. Asks bartender "Got any lunch?"
Bartender says "I told you yesterday we don't serve lunch here!" Duck leaves.
Next day duck walks into bar. Asks bartender "Got any lunch?" Bartender says "If you ask me one more time if we have any lunch I will nail your feet to the bar!!!!" Duck leaves.
Next day duck walks into the bar. "Got any nails?" Bartender says "No I don't have any nails!"
Got any lunch?
A Priest, an Imam, and a Rabbit walk into a bar.
Rabbit says "I'm probably a typo"
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "why the long face?"
Porsche drivers like it in the rear.
Three tomatoes are walking down the street, Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato, and Baby Tomato.
Baby Tomato starts lagging behind and Papa Tomato starts getting really angry, goes back and squishes him, says, "Catch up!"
What's brown and sticky?
A stick
jgrewe said:What's brown and sticky?
A stick
That's my sister-in-law's favorite joke in the world.
“A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Preacher all walk into a room...”
-What I said when the dispatcher told us that the hospital had been doing CPR for a half hour and was still going to try some other things.
Datsun310Guy said:
Since we're on a musical note (see what I did there?)
What's perfect pitch?
Banjo into a dumpster.
The bartender says "I'm sorry, we don't serve Tachyons here."
A Tachyon walks into a bar.
I want someone to do a GRM livery on it and enter it into the next 3D botmaker Porsche cup race series.
Steve Wonder and Ray Charles teamed up for a gospel duet album. The title of it was Blind Faith.
A fellow out on his luck went door to door asking for work.
He gets tasked to paint a wealthy guys porch.
The guy heads off to work and comes home later,
The hired hand, brush in his hand, says "I could not find the Porsche so I painted the Ferrari"
If there is no such thing as a cheap P car, how much does a free one cost? 
Sitting behind a couple of nuns at a baseball game (with their habits partially blocking their view), three men decided to badger the nuns in an effort to get them to move.
In a very loud voice, the first guy said, "I think I'm going to move to Utah, there are only 100 nuns living there."
The second guy spoke up and said, "I want to go to Montana, there are only 50 nuns living there.
The third guy said," I want to go to Idaho, there are only 25 nuns living there."
The Mother Superior turned around, looked at the men, and in a very sweet calm voice said,
"Why don't you all go to Hell... there aren't any Nuns there."
My hopes of owning a classic 911 have been resurrected . . .
Toyman01 ( + Sized and...) said:If there is no such thing as a cheap P car, how much does a free one cost?
You've got to be joking...
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To prove to the squirrel it was possible.
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
dung
what has two legs and bleeds a lot?
half a squirrel
From the master Southern Storyteller his own self, Jerry Clower.
All of y’all know that my dearest and closest friend growin’ up was Marcell Ledbetter. I checked on him the other day. Marcell’s still hauling pulpwood and he’s got a young boy named Tater, Tater Ledbetter, that helps him. Tater loves to go to the wood yard because the man that’s the manager of the wood yard owns one of them moped motorcycles.
Now while they’re unloading pulpwood old Tater rides the moped. Now he’s forbidden to take it outside the wood yard. But this particular day Tater saw an opening in the fence and he give it the good guff and went right on the hard road and pulled up to the red light and stopped.
‘Bout that time a brand-new Mercedes-Benz pulled out of a brand-new showroom, whupped around in the street. One of them $70,000 ones and pulled up there and stopped at the red light. And the driver looked and there’s Tater on the moped right there. Tater leaned over and put his nose on the glass, trying to look in there. The driver of the Mercedes spooled the window down and Tater stuck his head over in there. He said, “Whoo! Smell them leather seats! Look at that dashboard! Looks like the console of a brand-new cotton gin. Look-a here, looka here! Oh Sir, this is the most beautiful car I’ve ever seen in my life.”
Fella says, “Thank you, young man. Thank you very much.”
Tater says, “How fast will it go?”
He says, “A hundred and twenty.”
“A Hundred and Twenty!? Whoo!”
About that time the light changed. Tater swung back on the moped and the man took off and really showed Tater how he could do it. Just left tire tracks in the middle of the road.
The man’s going along, doing about 90, and he looks and sees a speck in his rear view mirror. And the speck’s getting closer and closer. And about that time, the speck says, “wroooom!” and he passed over here on the left hand side. Man driving the Mercedes said, “Good gracious. That looked like that little old boy on that moped. Ain’t no way that could happen.”
About that time he saw him coming back. Beeeeyooooomm. He said, “It was. Have mercy! Whoo! He done passed me twice!”
Looked in the rear view mirror and here he comes again, right at the back of that Mercedes. And he WHAM! runs into the back bumper. Man slams on brakes, jumps out. Tater had done bent the cootershell on the back of that car. And there he was laying down in the middle of that moped, parts throwed everywhere.
The man saw he was breathing and said, “Aww, son. AWW, son I hope you alright. Is there anything in the world that I can do for you, son?”
Tater said, “Yes sir. You can un-HOOK my suspenders from your side view mirror!”
What can think the unthinkable?
Ith bergth.
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