I'm not going there

So, Margie starts a thread saying something about reviewing post counts, and now it's 5 pages long.

I'm sure there's some good stuff there, but I stopped reading when someone said something about ovaries on page 1. I certainly won't post there.

Sometimes we just like to hear ourselves talk (and I've been guilty too, at times).

The problem is not the posts, it's the presumptions. We all think we know what someone intended, and over-react.

There's no way to give someone credit for all the posts they DIDNT make, or all the times they used restraint or made corrections.

I am frequently blamed for doing stuff I haven't done for years, but grudges and negative opinions seem to last forever.

Rants, frustrated posts, and automated nannies will not create civility. Civility breeds civility. (and over-reaction breeds over-reaction).

When someons asks me politely to reconsider something I have said badly, I respond positively. When someone fires off a sentence that includes 3 or 4 of the site's substitional words, I get defensive.

So, I am choosing to not pursue anything else in that thread. It's called self-restraint, and we can all do it together!! YEAH!

ovaries

Well, don't Bob Costas foot around Paul, this E36 M3 has got to berkeleyING stop.

In reply to Nick (Not-Stig) Comstock:

I don't think you and I should get into it!

Isn't this thread simply more of the same.

Just drop it.

Thanks.

Honestly, they could just shut down the whole Off Topic section. I've been waiting for it to happen because there are people here who keep pushing it to the limit and then Margie has to step in and lay the smack down.

How many more times before they just say berkeley these bunch of shiny happy people and then we don't have a place to socialize anymore?

It seems some people read Margie's "It's my party" post about general conduct here on the GRM forum and then promptly ignored it.

I only have three things to say:

It's their sandbox, play nice.

This is at least the 3r thread in the last few days where people imply that 'others' are the problem, but nobody ever seems to think that they themselves may be part of the problem. SVreX, I am not talking about you even though you started this thread. I really can't tell if there are a few bad apples or if everyone complaining about bad apples each thinks the problem is a different person.

You know, every family has to come to terms with the fact that there are some subjects that are better off not discussed at the dinner table. Politics, religion, and general arguments being among those topics but not necessarily encompassing the whole group.

I do not have the time, nor the desire to babysit forum members who cannot just accept that there are other members who do not/will never have the same viewpoint on certain subjects. By babysit, I mean monitoring threads on topics that are likely to go downhill so that I can later take the heat for locking a discussion that had transcended from "lively banter" to "you're an idiot and here are all the reasons why" beacuse a few members hadn't gotten their last word in, or "didn't think it was that bad".

Quite frankly, we are all visitors in the Suddard's home here, and it seems that we have collectively e-shouted the hostess out of the room. I think it may be time for me to step out for a while as well, as the signal to noise ratio has recently exceeded my threshold. Peace out.

I've been thinking about bowing out for a time as well. Not sure if I'm there or not. I suspect GPS has been put in time out for his typically crass statement. That single action alone may be enough to keep me around. It shows progress.
There are a few huge jerks on this board. The problem is, they think that being a jerk is something to be proud of. That small, but loud minority is what has driven us to this point.
Margie, et all have tried to be hands-off while policing us. That hasn't worked.

I've been staying out of those threads, but my general curiousity made me go look.

The Keyboard Warriors are at it again. I'm actually kind of pissed they have run our moderators out of here, especially ones that have been so lenient for so long. GPS took it too far.

I haven't been here as long as most, but I'm getting sick of this place. It used to be good and I preferred it over other automotive forums, but lately it's just not been the friendly, helpful place it once was.

I agree. Grow the berkeley up. I don't come here as often because it's like being at a party where the drunk guys get loud and yell at each other, and no one else can have a conversation. And that comment about ovaries? Sounds more like someone proving that their pecker still works.

This is one step closer to VERY BAD THINGS.

You know where I'm not going? Boston. I hate that town. Of course now that I have said that I will get sent there by work to cover for my supervisor or something.

I'm not going to the pie store. Even though I like pie.

I seldom post in the threads that later blow up and get locked, and I often don't read them, or at least stop after page 2. I also noticed that in most of those threads the posts after page 2 or 3 are dominated by a few certain people nearly all the time (some as dogmatic opinion holders, and others as instigators). I'm sure the moderators see that too, since they have to read those discussions. That's probably where Margie got her post count idea, which I think is a decent idea BTW.

Personally, I would be ashamed to make the hostess of a party, or club, that I was invited to, feel like she needed to leave the room because of my bad speach or conduct. I have opinions about many of those controversial subjects too, but keep my comments brief, or just withhold them, because I don't want to participate in shouting matches, dogmatic or circular arguments, those things never make a gathering a better place.

If someone needs to spend time in the penalty box, or even be ejected from the club altogether to keep things civil, and the hosts feeling that the conduct of thier guests is a good reflection on them (and the business that they've worked hard to build and maintain), I see nothing wrong with that.

I would also add that if they don't, things will surely get worse since we are heading into an election season in a nation that's more divided than ever.

I must be subconsciously ignoring some threads... as things seem pretty civil around here to me... Did I miss something? Wouldn't be the first time...

New York city for me. berkeley that place.

Its simple: stop E36 M3ting on the floor.

Ian F wrote: I must be subconsciously ignoring some threads... as things seem pretty civil around here to me... Did I miss something? Wouldn't be the first time...

They felt civil to me as well but I like those threads so I am a bad judge. We were told to quit having debate threads or touchy topic threads and that was definitely a touchy topic being debated. Those threads were off limits. I sent Margie an apology and apologize to anyone else for being in a thread that broke the rules. This place is a way of life for me. I don't want to screw it up.

Lesley wrote: I agree. Grow the berkeley up. I don't come here as often because it's like being at a party where the drunk guys get loud and yell at each other, and no one else can have a conversation. And that comment about ovaries? Sounds more like someone proving that their pecker still works.

it's been noticed … and speaking for myself, I'm very disappointed you felt you had to drift away

mndsm wrote: New York city for me. berkeley that place.

Fine. More pizza for me.

I haven't been around much the last year or so. It's a little bit rose-tinted-glasses, but I feel like before I wandered off, things had already degraded considerably in the talking-vs-shouting balance. I used to gush to friends about how remarkable this place was, because it was the only place I knew of where I could have a courteous exchange of differing viewpoints with folks from really different backgrounds. It didn't always go perfectly, but for a remarkable-on-the-Internet period of time, it was surprisingly good.

I hope the forum in most of its character sticks around. I still like cars, and I still like a lot of folks who like cars. If the era of also having other civil discussions has come and gone, well, I feel privileged to have witnessed it, I'm thankful to GRM and to the folks who had those conversations, and I hope my contributions were more good than bad. I will also probably have moments for the rest of my life where something I said pops into my head and I think, "I said what!?"