I'm out of options for this woman

Ok, time for an update for those that are following because, who can’t look away from a train wreck or dumpster fire?
I called adult protective services (APS) Sunday. They made a home visit on Monday. We were there for that mainly to show support to my sister, and to make sure the investigator had all the details. Glad we were there because she didn’t. Our HOPE was that my sisters would be removed to the home for medical reasons, that would lead to a rehab stay, and we would transition her to ALF. We were told that the APS investigator could make that happen for us if there was a need.
We learned that that is not the case. So, the investigator met with my sister and talked to her, evaluated her and our discussion afterward was a gut-punch. 
She said that my sister can answer the questions necessary to prove that she can maker her own decisions (more on that later). This means that legally she can make her own bad decisions, even though those decisions directly impact her older (also disabled sister) to her detriment and impacts us, she can do that and we have to pick up the pieces. She also told us that there is no way those two should be in the house without “probably 24/7 supervision”. My sister is so difficult the only family in the area are not willing to move in with them. Think about that, a 20- and 22-year old are not willing to move into a house on a canal with a dock and a pool, live rent free, and be paid about $600 a month to make sure they don’t die. All of that wasn’t worth the headache of my sister.
Ok, to sum up what I’ve learned is that all doctors that have met with my sister say she is not capable of taking care of herself, and her current situation is not safe. The APS investigator stated that she is not capable of taking care of herself, and her current situation is not safe. The in-home health care pros (3 thus far) and the social worker state that she is not capable of taking care of herself, and her current situation is not safe. The government effectively states that both sisters cannot work or support themselves by virtue of paying them benefits for a few decades now. BUT (back to the proof that she can make her own decisions) because she can state what day of the week it is, the date, her social sec #, and tell the investigator what 20 minus 3 is, she’s able to make all decisions for herself.

Absolutely mind-blowing.

Those questions that she can answer (more or less) correctly, also mean that we would not be awarded guardianship over them. 
My wife and I are trying to figure out the next step. We are at the end of the line for getting them into an ALF. The APS investigator said the only possibility would be to try for emergency guardianship, but that won't happen because she can answer the same questions most 8-year olds can answer, except the social sec #. The next option might be to say “the house is being sold. You have until the XX of XX to pack a few things. You can help us find your new home, or we’ll do it for you.” But she still has to be willing to walk out of the door.
Every day I’m gaining resentment for my two brothers for (doing the smart thing and) checking out of this whole thing, and resentment for my mom who created this monster by spoiling her rotten, and shielding her/them from the real world.

In reply to DrBoost :

You are a man of strong character, and unfortunately that sometimes comes at a painful cost. I wish you the best, my GRM brother.

In reply to DrBoost :

I know it's just more gas on the fire at this point, but is there any possibility you can file suit against the investigator and bring everything before a judge? If parties A-F all say X=true, and the state says X=false, then the state needs to be dick-punched. 

Other than that, I got nothing...

Prayers for you guys; you got stuck in a horrible situation not of your own making...

Recon1342 said:

In reply to DrBoost :

I know it's just more gas on the fire at this point, but is there any possibility you can file suit against the investigator and bring everything before a judge? If parties A-F all say X=true, and the state says X=false, then the state needs to be dick-punched. 

Other than that, I got nothing...

Prayers for you guys; you got stuck in a horrible situation not of your own making...

Having dealt with CPS for many months, I can say with near-certainty, that none of that would matter.  It's an incompetent organization wrought with too much beurcoracy, and the case workers are overworked, underpaid, and left fumbling the bag.  This isn't the APS case worker's decision-  She is solely there to evaluate mental competency, and that's all from the Manual.  She's just following protocol, not making it.  As frustrating as I know that is to hear... 

I honestly think your best course of action is to just let her get sick enough to the point that she needs forced admission to the hospital, and then rehab/ALF.  Even trying to sell the house gets super sticky because your mom is still alive, and even though you are likely executor, and even with PoA over your mom, your sisters can draw that transaction out legally for years if they want, only because residence has been established for so long. 

I wish there was an easier out for this, but unfortunately I think your ownly play is to be selfish to your and your wife's needs, and politely start extricating yourself from all of this BS.  This isn't your problem to fix.  Your brothers already realized this...  Again, nothing but respect and empathy to you and your wife.  I just think it's time to start looking at the brutal reality of this situation.  

Recon1342 said:

In reply to DrBoost :

I know it's just more gas on the fire at this point, but is there any possibility you can file suit against the investigator and bring everything before a judge? If parties A-F all say X=true, and the state says X=false, then the state needs to be dick-punched. 

Other than that, I got nothing...

Prayers for you guys; you got stuck in a horrible situation not of your own making...

Yeah, what golfduke said is correct. The investigator is 100% with us on this, but her hands are tied. She actually tried to bluff a little bit by saying 'you can either go now, by your choice and with some options, which is the much easier way or you can keep doing what you're doing and the state will step in and they will place you somewhere. Do you want to do this now, you'll be in a place where they will manage all of this for you, do your laundry, clean your room, cook your meals, and you still have the freedom to come and go as you please?' 
She said no.
Absolutely unable/unwilling to do the right/easy/compassionate/logical thing. 
We are considering just waiting her out, letting her have a stroke, and using that opportunity because we know selling the house might not really work. But man, she's been thus unhealthy for YEARS, and the family genes seem to support crappy lifestyles into the 80's. Imagine if we lived/ate properly! I'd have relatives that shook hands with Moses still alive!

Angry said it way better than I could, so I'm stealing from him

You are a man of strong character, and unfortunately that sometimes comes at a painful cost. I wish you the best, my GRM brother.

In reply to DrBoost :

That really inhales vigorously. 

I still maintain that the state (read: bureaucrats) deserves a dick-punch. 

We are with you, amigo.

Sadly your Mom needed to set up an "if, then" guardianship for you.  If something happened to your Mom, then you get guardianship of your sisters.  I've asked my Dad to do this for me and my sister for my mom, but I doubt he has, so at some point I'll be dealing with the same situation as you.

All you can do is the best you can.  Take care of yourself and your family first and go from there...

In reply to docwyte :

It would be interesting if you can do that, the "if, then" clause. We had a not-to-cheap chat with an attorney about guardianship. I assume it varies by state, here in Florida, it would cost $15,000 to go through the motions, and if the judge deems them able to screw up their lives because then know what 20 minus 3 is, our $15K is gone. If you get guardianship, there is an annual task for an attorney to do, that'll cost you a few hundred per year, per person. 

In reply to DrBoost :

Sadly I will confirm your assessment of APS.  They are FAR less useful than people may think they are.  (CPS seems to be the same situation).

Also sadly, I have a half-sister who seems to have had the same upbringing as yours, with similar results.  The ability for people to "create" horrible children / people is unfortunately very powerful (even with the best intentions).

Very frustrating situation....

I got nothing but a message saying hang in there. You've done a superhuman amount of work trying to find a solution, but sometimes there just isn't one. It's hard to help someone who is actively sabotaging you along the way (been there). Just remember you don't have to set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. I know that is easy to type on a keyboard, but it set me free years ago.  My best friend eventually died due to lack of self care (diabetes), but there was nothing I could do and I chose my own future over his self-destruction.

You've got nothing to apologize to anyone for no matter how this turns out in the end. Make peace now with the worst case scenarios, it will make things easier when they happen. But never once doubt you tried your best and then some. You're a good man being forced to make hard decisions.

I'm sorry your brothers bailed, that isn't right. I joke that my older brother pulls a "Fredo" when things get tough so I have to be "Michael" and handle the family business. It sucks, but once you gets to that point it's "choose and be damned", so do your best and don't take any crap from anyone who didn't step up.

"No good deed goes unpunished."

This is why I get involved in exactly zero family/friend drama/problems. 

Good luck man!

This is a really brutal situation. You are fully in the right to distance yourself as much as you can. Sucks that you'll still be dealing with picking up the pieces and cleaning up the mess when the inevitable happens.

If my older siblings and myself had not stepped in for my aunt a couple years ago she'd have been dead 1.5 years ago or in ALF. She should be in ALF, but she doesn't want to give up her condo and can comfortably afford a full time caregiver (which we essentially forced her to have). My sister and I have distanced ourselves after putting in so much time and effort for no real thank you from her. 

I wish you the best in dealing with your situation.

After reading all this I have concluded that I should not be able to make decisions for myself...if that wasn't readily apparent.

My uncle acted a bit like this, to the point of receiving an organ transplant form his own child, then preceded to live the same lifestyle and passed away.   You can only help if she if willing to accept and wants a different outcome.   You can not want this more than your sister, it won't work.

Some real words of wisdom here. Thanks all. I think the final piece of the puzzle we need to figure out is if we get them out of then house, do we have to sell the house, or can we rent/airBNB it. I think a real estate lawyer is in our future. 

In reply to DrBoost :

I've been following the story here but I've kept quite and sometimes lacked the time to put down real words...  

In my experience with CPS in multiple counties of Ohio via some foster/adopt/etc, I am left with a cynical view.   I have found that the employees are overworked, understaffed and under motivated.  I commend them that they often went to college with the intent to "make the world better" but then a few years into the job they realize they have their finger in the dike to hold back the water...but it will never stop the water.  They get beaten down.  Their daily job just becomes the path of least resistance.  They become very proficient at "not seeing new problems." The last thing they need is another problem.   

However, I have learned that if someone "bigger than them" sees the problem, they then generally have to address the problem.  

So, what do I mean by these cryptic words?  Who is bigger than them?  
Some samples of bigger are doctors, cops, firemen.  

So, how do we turn this into advice?  
I might recommend bothering the local police to do a "welfare check" on your sisters.  It can seem like a dick move but is it possible that the officers would come to the door and be greeted by "unsafe living conditions?"  Would the cops then call APS into the situation?  
or,
Would the cops then send her to a hospital and would the doctors there get tired enough of seeing her that the Dr would call APS?  

My recommendation is to get as many eyes on their situation as possible so that APS can't "not see" the problem!  

So, just spit-balling some ideas here:  

Sample: call 911 and say, "I was just speaking with my sister.  She is frail and susceptible to strokes.  Her speech seemed slurred on the phone.  Im concerned for her safety.  Could you send EMS? " 

Sample: 911-  "I was just speaking with my sister.  She's on many prescriptions.  She seemed very incoherent.  I can't check on her from out of state.  Could you please send EMS?"

Sample 911  "I've tried to reach my sister for days.  She's frail and unhealthy.  I'm concerned.  Could you send an officer for a welfare check?"  

I'm not sure where they live.  I'm hoping its a smaller community so the responding officer will often be the same officer.  The goal here is that you make your sister "the cop's problem" or "EMS's problem" enough times, they'll find a way to make it someone else's problem.  Who they'll find is APS.  

Sure, 911 may threaten you that you're calling too often and it's you who's the problem.  Take no offense, you're allowed to be a wack job too.  Be part of the problem; the problem they want to push off themselves and onto someone else (APS.)  

In reply to John Welsh :

Well crap, those are good ideas there. Hadn't thought about the cops. 
we did get her (our) doc brought in the loop, but they can only do so much. Of course, I don't know if they are doing everything within their power, or everything within their 'give a damn'