Is there a dentist in the house?

Ever have one of those "a-ha" moments and you wonder how it took you almost 48 years to figure it out?  Like when your friend finally blurts out that they have realized they hate coconut.  You're like, dude... coconut isn't that bad, but you just figured it out????

For me, it's Dentists.  I have an irrational fear of dentists.  I would rather someone give me a surprise prostate hi-five than put fingers and pneumatic tools in my mouth.

Before the pandemic I made some calls to dentists with my concerns.  Of course, most of them went overboard about how they will take care of my needs, and they have the latest cleaning methods that don't involve the old scraper things.  I picked one that seemed genuine, and it was a specific point on their website.  They then destroyed my mouth with every possible medieval torture method.  It think she used a clam rake at one point.  I reminded the hygenist that I'm the patient who has the irrational fear of Dentists, and she just laughed and said something like "that's ridiculous" and then continued her torture.  Then she said she would have to finish "next time" and told me to schedule another appointment for one month.  I promptly did not.

How do I find a dentist that doesn't suck for someone like me?  It's been almost two years (furloughed with no dental insurance and little income) and I hate that I haven't found a decent dentist in my area with the exception of Nurse Ratched.  Is there a keyword, a procedure, a method that I'm looking for?  Do I just show up doped on Xanax?  Here is honestly what I want... Just like when I had my wisdom teeth out, they put a mask over my face, the clock melted into one of the bears from a Grateful Dead album cover, and I woke up a little later with a sore mouth and an invoice.  I dig that I won't get general anesthesia for a cleaning, but I gotta do something.  I need to have regular cleanings, but they insist on blasting past my needs and poking, probing gum depths with a pointed steel jabber three times inside and outside each tooth (add it up, that's repeatedly stabbing a stick between your teeth and gums nearly 200 times.) and really being a problem.

I would rather go multiple visits to accomplish a cleaning as long as they do it chill-like. 4 distasteful visits is better than one horrifically traumatizing visit.

In reply to Curtis73 (Forum Supporter) :

Sedation dentistry. 

The few I've dealt with around here, including the one that did my wisdom teeth, judged fear and pain threshold, and they'd give anything from valium to full knockout. 

3 minutes.

I love this forum.

RevRico said:

In reply to Curtis73 (Forum Supporter) :

Sedation dentistry. 

This. Wife has to do this. I believe her dentist uses nitrous on her.

Yeah, sedation dentistry is the word.

One other piece of advice: the less work they have to do, the easier it is. Use an electric toothbrush twice a day and floss every night, and you'll likely find visits get far easier. The longer you wait between visits the worse it is, too. 

Mr. VCH has a similar fear/ hatred of dentist. Finally, with a 20-year old retainer half broken in her mouth, and an alarming hole she'd noticed, plus a bunch of aged metal fillings ready to pop out at any time, I nudged her enough and she sought out a holistic dentist.  She was about an hour's drive away, but for Mrs. VCH, worth it.  Got everything done in two visits, and promptly scheduled a 6 month cleaning. 

Unfortunately, an hour's south of us would be like 2 hours for you, but there may be someone similar nearer your neck of the woods, if you'd like an option to being doped up like a teenager at a rave.

Tom Suddard said:

Yeah, sedation dentistry is the word.

One other piece of advice: the less work they have to do, the easier it is. Use an electric toothbrush twice a day and floss every night, and you'll likely find visits get far easier. The longer you wait between visits the worse it is, too. 

totally agree.  I'm meticulous about in-home maintenance but the fear part makes office visits infrequent.  I have a waterpik in the shower, Sonicare by the sink, and I floss daily to get what the waterpik misses.  I even did some research with a dentist (who wasn't trying to poke my mouth) about how to find a mouthwash that would work best with my pie hole.  I think that extra attention what keeps me from getting cavities, but I have to find someone to clean my skull knives.

Thank you all for that.  I've been so out of the loop that I hadn't ever heard that term (despite the totally logical sense it makes)

Curtis73 (Forum Supporter) said:

I would rather someone give me a surprise prostate hi-five....

Yeah, as a 58 year old man I have to disagree with you on this one.  

All kidding aside I was given a Valium once when I had laser eye surgery.  Maybe?   

I also agree going 2x a year helps.   

Before I start, I'll say right now I am the absolute opposite when it comes to mouth work. Half the time for me, it's a chill 45 minutes while someone pokes around on my chompers.

It's a good idea to ask your next dentist what tools they use. I never realized until my most recent provider how great modern waterpik tools are- my prior dentist was all hands-on and in his 70s, and it turns out he was missing quite a bit in not using modern technology. Ask them to look for pits in your enamel- they lead to cavities and even good care and maintenance can't stop everything. Their fix is the equivalent to mouth bondo.

Don't let hygenists like her do that to you ever again- tell them when they're too rough, and if they don't stop or change methods stop them and ask for a different one. Next DDS you get, tell them you want some one-on-one time for sedation dentistry because you've had so many bad experiences. If they don't, or try to talk you out of it more than being honest about a busy schedule, leave. They're people, and that means they are just as empathetic or callous as the rest. Try to air grievances first, good providers will understand difficulties with E36 M3 doctors.

I've recently dropped another dentist because I looked like Ed Norton from that scene in Fight Club after a cleaning. I feel your pain.

Some dentists will gas you for a cleaning.

Tom Suddard said

One other piece of advice: the less work they have to do, the easier it is. Use an electric toothbrush twice a day and floss every night, and you'll likely find visits get far easier. The longer you wait between visits the worse it is, too. 

Yep, just like cars; do the maintenance and you won't go through a lot of whining and huge bills later!

Don't laugh but there is a chain of dentistry places called Gentle Dental. I needed a dentist so I went there. I was amazed how low key they were. The cleaning was painless. I was pleasantly surprised.  There pricing is also fixed. Not the cheapest but I did not feel like I was over paying.  

Curtis, if you are willing to drive up to Reading I can give a personal recommendation for a dentist that is awesome, even a specific hygienist there.  I know several other people who also use this place other than me and all of us are really pleased.  Much more gentle than any of the other places I've used in the past.  

Them poking around your teeth is an integral part of them checking your gum health.  I won't see a patient that won't let me do that, it's malpractice for me, just like I won't see a patient that won't let me take x-rays for the same reason.

The ultrasonic cleaner is good but you still need to use the old fashioned scalers too.

What you described is a hygienist who knows how to properly do her job and was taking care of you the right way.

What you need is sedation dentistry, you'll need a ride there and a ride home.  It works wonderfully but expect to pay $750-1000 just for the sedation PLUS whatever the dental procedure is.

If you haven't had your teeth cleaned for along time it will be uncomfortable.  They can numb your gums, and give you nitrous.  Hand scaling is less uncomfortable than ultrasonic IMHO. But when they go under the gums it can hurt regardless.  The ultrasonics can be turned down though and that can help.  All this is a lesson to all to keep up with tooth maintenance.  The longer you wait the more plaque you get, the more discomfort.

All that said there is a tremendous variance in skill among hygienists.  Try another office, pick an older one with more experience.  

Also, the more you smoke and drink coffee/tea, the more tartar you will have and the more difficult the cleaning.  
 

I went years once without seeing a dentist.  When I finally got here,  I found a good one and the poor hygienist took a long time on my first cleaning.  My mouth ached for a day or so.  From there on it's been twice a year visits and they are much easier.  

Tom Suddard said:

One other piece of advice: the less work they have to do, the easier it is. Use an electric toothbrush twice a day and floss every night, and you'll likely find visits get far easier. The longer you wait between visits the worse it is, too. 

SO MUCH THIS.

Nobody sane likes going to the dentist.  Even dentists know this.  But...

If you do a really thorough job with your home care, and you can buck up and get your teeth cleaned every 6 months, each progressive visit will get easier and easier.

After regular flossing and a few semiannual visits, those gaps they are measuring will be 2-3mm deep instead of 5-6mm, AND they won't be so sore and inflamed.  And after another year, those gaps will be 1-2mm deep, they won't be inflamed at all, and maybe they will lightly probe you once a year instead of heavily every visit.

I get it.  My teeth are all crooked and tightly packed in my mouth and I have a lot of fillings due to lack of calcium as a kid (my mother hated milk so we never had it in the house).  My home care was terrible and I hated going to the dentist even once a year, for all the reasons you describe.  But once I made the decision and really upped my home care and started getting cleanings every 6 months, my teeth and gums have improved dramatically.  I think in the last 15 years I've had ONE new filling.  Any others I have gotten have all been replacements of old amalgam fillings that have exceeded their service life.

My teeth are tight and I really don't like string floss.  I got a thing called a Shower Floss that is cheap and easier to use than a water pick.  I use that for about 1-2 minutes during my shower every day and it has made a HUGE difference in my oral health.  Just that alone has cut my plaque buildup in half or less - meaning much shorter, easier cleanings.  These days I'm about 10-15 minutes in the chair, and done, including the polish.

[edit]

Glad to hear your home care is good.  But bearing up and getting it done every 6 months will really help.

Sonic said:

Curtis, if you are willing to drive up to Reading I can give a personal recommendation for a dentist that is awesome, even a specific hygienist there.  I know several other people who also use this place other than me and all of us are really pleased.  Much more gentle than any of the other places I've used in the past.  

I wouldn't mind the drive, and I appreciate the help, but at this point (until I move past some things), I think it will have to be sedation.

I'll give you a quick story of why my brain is messed up about it.  When I was younger, I had my tonsils removed.  Doctor said they were the biggest he'd ever seen.  Because of that I had a ton of trouble with post-surgery bleeding.  I had to go to the ER late one night because they were bleeding badly enough that they had to give me blood when I got there.  The solution was cauterization, so they took a big wad of gauze, dipped in in alcohol, and then dipped it in the brown cauterizing powder.

What ended up happening was that the one jaw of the hemostat holding the gauze broke as he was putting it in my throat and the doctor didn't know it.  So instead of putting gentle pressure on a painful wound with painful chemicals on it, the gauze and the 2" of metal jaw went into my lungs, and the remaining jaw of the hemostat went straight through my trachea.  I was basically having my throat stabbed from inside my mouth with a blunt, serrated object while a wad of gauze was choking me and my lungs were full of 91% isopropyl, cauterizing chemicals, and a 2" shard of chrome-plated surgical steel.  I almost instantly started to pass out from the pain, but before I did, my brain decided that the best course of action was to punch the doctor, which was followed promptly by my body deciding to violently expunge things,  covering the doctor, the wall, and the door with exorcist levels of... um... red things.  It was like in a movie when someone gets shot and they squib a bunch of red corn syrup on the wall - times eleventy.  The good news is that it expelled the gauze and the metal shard.  The bad news was that the shard was expelled hard enough that it broke a tooth on the way past.

Ever since that, things being put in my mouth haven't generally gone over well for me.  I think the problem was that I was young enough that I genuinely thought he was actively trying to kill me instead of just an "oops."

Hence my original post about an "a-ha" moment.  It was just recently that I put that experience together with why I am so fearful of going to the dentist.

Apologies if I'm oversharing, but I wanted to demonstrate why sedation is important.

docwyte said:

Them poking around your teeth is an integral part of them checking your gum health.  I won't see a patient that won't let me do that, it's malpractice for me, just like I won't see a patient that won't let me take x-rays for the same reason.

The ultrasonic cleaner is good but you still need to use the old fashioned scalers too.

What you described is a hygienist who knows how to properly do her job and was taking care of you the right way.

What you need is sedation dentistry, you'll need a ride there and a ride home.  It works wonderfully but expect to pay $750-1000 just for the sedation PLUS whatever the dental procedure is.

I was hoping you would chime in.

I totally get that they were doing their job.  My problem wasn't with the things she was doing, it's that they were traumatic to me and when I reminded her of that, she basically said I was crazy and kept doing them.

The money part isn't a big issue.  I mean... yes, it's an issue, but I look at cost/benefit and I would gladly pay larger sums to get back on track.  One of the reasons I'm posting now is because I'm back full time after being furloughed which means I'll have dental insurance which should cover at least part of it.

Curtis73 (Forum Supporter) said:

Sonic said:

Curtis, if you are willing to drive up to Reading I can give a personal recommendation for a dentist that is awesome, even a specific hygienist there.  I know several other people who also use this place other than me and all of us are really pleased.  Much more gentle than any of the other places I've used in the past.  

I wouldn't mind the drive, and I appreciate the help, but at this point (until I move past some things), I think it will have to be sedation.

I'll give you a quick story of why my brain is messed up about it.  When I was younger, I had my tonsils removed.  Doctor said they were the biggest he'd ever seen.  Because of that I had a ton of trouble with post-surgery bleeding.  I had to go to the ER late one night because they were bleeding badly enough that they had to give me blood when I got there.  The solution was cauterization, so they took a big wad of gauze, dipped in in alcohol, and then dipped it in the brown cauterizing powder.

What ended up happening was that the one jaw of the hemostat holding the gauze broke as he was putting it in my throat and the doctor didn't know it.  So instead of putting gentle pressure on a painful wound with painful chemicals on it, the gauze and the 2" of metal jaw went into my lungs, and the remaining jaw of the hemostat went straight through my trachea.  I was basically having my throat stabbed from inside my mouth with a blunt, serrated object while a wad of gauze was choking me and my lungs were full of 91% isopropyl, cauterizing chemicals, and a 2" shard of chrome-plated surgical steel.  I almost instantly started to pass out from the pain, but before I did, my brain decided that the best course of action was to punch the doctor, which was followed promptly by my body deciding to violently expunge things,  covering the doctor, the wall, and the door with exorcist levels of... um... red things.  It was like in a movie when someone gets shot and they squib a bunch of red corn syrup on the wall - times eleventy.  The good news is that it expelled the gauze and the metal shard.  The bad news was that the shard was expelled hard enough that it broke a tooth on the way past.

Ever since that, things being put in my mouth haven't generally gone over well for me.  I think the problem was that I was young enough that I genuinely thought he was actively trying to kill me instead of just an "oops."

Hence my original post about an "a-ha" moment.  It was just recently that I put that experience together with why I am so fearful of going to the dentist.

Apologies if I'm oversharing, but I wanted to demonstrate why sedation is important.

Jesus berkeleying Christ.

spitfirebill said:

Also, the more you smoke and drink coffee/tea, the more tartar you will have and the more difficult the cleaning.  
 

I went years once without seeing a dentist.  When I finally got here,  I found a good one and the poor hygienist took a long time on my first cleaning.  My mouth ached for a day or so.  From there on it's been twice a year visits and they are much easier.  

This is really where I am.  I don't care about the post-cleaning pain.  I can deal with that, it's the re-living someone causing painful trauma in my mouth.  My plan is to get some cleanings under sedation and get back to a point where hopefully I can do 6 month intervals and have it not be traumatic.

Your life experiences are ALWAYS the price of admission.......DUDE......how's the Bonneville?

Mr_Asa said:

Jesus berkeleying Christ.

I know, right?  Trauma is such a strange thing (I'm getting my Master's in Clinical Counseling, by the way).  I can talk and joke about it, but it's fascinating to me how the brain locks on to associations.  You all knew I was berkeleyed up   Now you know one of the many reasons why.

After several years of putting off dental visits, I bit the bullet and went to Gentle Dental like Dean mentioned. I was avoiding it due to anxiety and still have my blood pressure rise to questionable levels when I sit in the chair.  

I had 3 teeth removed and had to go through scaling to head off gum disease. As a result I can relate to the poking and probing that I get every visit now. Since I know I can't avoid it and keep my teeth, I put up with it and focus on the numbers as they are read off and mentally note the  reduction so I can feel like I'm making progress.

While I don't think it will be the solution for your situation, the suggestions of increased frequency may be helpful, I know I have been doing cleanings every 3 months and it goes much easier.

I'll also say the right hygienist will make a big difference. In my case even though she does the gum measurements, once my hygienist starts cleaning she avoids some of the more sensitive teeth with the ultrasonic and uses manual tools. She's thorough, but will pause or take a break on a tooth and return to it later on if my discomfort gets to high. 

I've also found it helpful to bring headphones. I'll bring my over-ear headphones and put on some jazz or classical loud enough to muffle the equipment noise and close my eyes. I find focusing on the music distracts me from what's going on in my mouth. 

In reply to Curtis73 (Forum Supporter) :

Unfortunately dental insurance won't cover the sedation charge but will cover the dental procedure.  You can try Nitrous and Valium first, that's quite a bit more affordable.  I have a good amount of patients that it works extremely well for.  You still need a ride to the office and back home.