Know any murderers or friends with any serious criminals?

Long long time ago, I worked on some research project at San Quentin death row and later at the innocence project. However, it was at a different time. 

2023 - Fast forward to today, a person I work with, wife, kids, nice house, car enthusiast etc, was charged with attempted murder today.  We had thanksgivign together with this family. 

I am not shocked - as things like this doesn't shock me. 

This is the second time.

In 2014, one of my collegues, had cut up couple of women and stuffed them in suitcases. Between murder 1 and murder 2, we had dinner, and had good amount of company meetings at the office. That guy was single. We didn't mingle sociallly very much outside of work. Hes in prison, never heard from him since. 

However, do you continue the friendship? Do you just cut them out, if you are friends with their family, and your family is intertwined with their extended family?

Any experiences and thoughts?

That's a tough one, and obviously depends on the details (but I don't need to know them). I will say his family did not commit a crime and will need friends now, more than ever. I'm good a separating stuff, so I wouldn't abandon them. 

This is kind of a rambling post. Sorry in advance.

I knew a kid from 6th -12th grades. He was kind of a dick in grade school and by HS he was quite a troublemaker. The first week of our senior year he accused my friend of stealing some car speakers from him. My friend explained that the bully's friend had sold him the speakers. Didn't matter, he wanted his speakers back and if he didn't get them he was going to beat the E36 M3 out of my friend. My friend was about 140lbs. The bully was about 200. I was 175 but in really good shape from football, wrestling and cycling. Not to mention that I was raised to never walk away from a fight. I stepped in and told the bully to Berk off. He wanted to fight me. We were in the HS gym at the time and I told him I'd fight him right here and now. He wanted to fight off campus after school. I knew he was one infraction from getting expelled permanently so I insisted in fighting right now or never. He finally backed off but I kept my eyes out for him for a while. A few weeks later he and a couple of his friends stood by the edge of a road in the middle of the desert near where we lived and threw rocks at passing cars. They finally hit a guy's brand new Camaro. He turned around and chased them down a dirt road out into the desert. They drove far enough down the road that they were out of sight and stopped. When the guy pulled up and jumped out of his car they gunned him down with a shotgun. I'm pretty sure that kid got at least 20 years if not life in prison. I've searched for a newspaper story on him but never found out.

Fast forward about 25 years. I've completely mellowed out. I had been around men with short fuses for most of my life and had recently excluded most of them (including my own father) from my life.

I had a friend that I used to do a different hobby with for a while. He was about 20 years older than I was and had seen some things. We were on the way to an event and he told me that he had killed a guy. The guy ran out in front of him across a 6 lane street and he couldn't stop in time. OK. It could happen to anyone.  Except that he said that he locked eyes with the guy and willed him not to cross the street. So, he saw that the guy was going to cross but didn't slow down. Hmmm. Then he told me that he had pulled a gun on his old neighbors for something. It was all in the past, he was a new man, etc. I had 5 and 3 yo kids at the time. Sorry bud. You didn't make the cut.

Once removed is the closest I can get. 

My father-in-law grew up in Willow Springs, IL and ran with Mike Corbitt in his younger years (bars, pool halls, gambling).  

Mike became the police chief and was involved in the mob, insurance fraud and murder. Great story if you like mob stories.  
 

We had this very nice older man that worked for us including inside the offices of a federal office tenant we had. They enacted more stringent requirements for contractors including in-depth background checks for any that have access for the space. He sat me down and said, I'm worried about my job. I won't pass that background check. David, I killed a girl. (Big gulp on my side!) David, that was fifty years ago. I was young and dumb and mixed up with the wrong crowd. I assured him that, should he not be allowed in the suite, we had plenty of other work for him. It was still quite a moment to have someone make a confession like that to me. I can't see as how I treated him any differently after, since as he said fifty years ago was another lifetime entirely. It was really something to have that window opened up on another man's life though. And he passed the background check just fine I'm not even sure what they were looking for. Probably recent theft convictions. 

Yeah.  His dad was the local cemetery caretaker and I hung out with him a few times in high school.  . Taken from a screenshot of the article.   He was a damn good mechanic having won a contest for tech students at the philly auto show. It got him a free ride to a two year auto tech school 
 

Women's Killer Sentenced, Man Told Doctors Voices Hounded Him Albuquerque Journal, Thursday, December 21, 2000 by Leslie Linthicum, Journal Staff Writer PG A1 SANTA ROSA- Theodore Justin Burchess grabbed three cans of soup, two cans of tuna, a jacket and a rifle on Halloween 1998 and drove west from his home in Pennsylvania to quiet the voices in his head. Psychologists said he was convinced that if he got to Mexico, the unrelenting "telepathic slander" that tormented him would stop. Burchess turned south from Interstate 40 at Santa Rosa three days later and drove as far as Borica, a Guadalupe County ranching hamlet, where he believed he had crossed into Mexico. The voices started to tell him he was in a war and his life was threatened. On Nov. 2, about 30 miles south of Santa Rosa, he shot and killed two women who had the bad luck to walk out of their rural homes. A judge in Santa Rosa sent Burchess to prison for 41 years on Wednesday, acknowledging that the 21-year-old's mental illness was also a villain in a tragedy that has torn apart three families. "Mr. Burchess is not to blame, but he is responsible," state District Judge Eugenio Mathis said. Burchess, diagnosed as schizophrenic, pleaded guilty but mentally ill to the murders of Debra Lee Sipes and Veronica Sena and to burglary of guns from Sipes' home. By pleading guilty, he will spend most of his adult life in prison but avoids the possibility of the death penalty or two life sentences. In a two-hour hearing, relatives of the victims described the pain of their loss and their shock and anger that such random brutality could come calling in the ranching country they thought was safe. Theodore and Donna Burchess came from Pennsylvania to sit behind their shackled son in the courtroom and tell the judge about their own nightmare. Justin, as he was called, was 19 and five months away from finishing an automotive technician degree program when he quit school and became sloppy and argumentative, his parents said. They were concerned but wrote his behavior off to a late adolescent rebellion. Neither of his parents knew the extent of their son's decline, they said. "I didn't know that he had tried to commit suicide or that he was hearing voices," said Donna Burchess, a veterinarian from Newtown, Pa. Theodore Burchess, Justin's father, cried and said until two years ago his only knowledge about mental illness had come from seeing the movie "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest." The Burchesses were shocked to learn their soft-spoken and obedient son had been accused of murder and was hallucinating and hearing voices. After his arrest in 1998, Burchess was evaluated by psychologist Susan Cave. She said Burchess had begun suffering from schizophrenia four months earlier. He was hallucinating and hearing voices and felt a cat inside his stomach clawing to get out, Cave said. "He was haunted and plagued by horrible and terrifying images, and he was under the mistaken belief that these would all go away if he got to Mexico," Cave said. "The motives for these crimes exist only in the rather twisted, sick and psychotic mind of this individual." When he got south of Santa Rosa and thought he had entered Mexico, Burchess got no relief from the voices, only a foreboding that he was in a dangerous situation and the feeling that he was going to kill someone

Under the rules of war some of us have taken lives. Is it murder? 

I had a good friend I met in HS through my ex-wife. He was into cars big time and we spent a lot of time together. I trusted him around my family and kid, also his family were really great people. He decided to help a guy kill his soon to be ex-wife. My friend was handy and could break into just about anything. Unfortunately, he agreed to break into her apartment, and they beat her to death and then shot her. My friend got rid of the weapons. We found out he helped for $5000 that's all. He was working at autozone with the guy who he helped. It was crazy because he came from a wealthy and very giving family. Anyway my mom had saw him on the news and called me. Everyone was in disbelief because he seemed like a person who would save someone from getting killed, not participate in it. His gf just gave birth to their kid too. I still sometimes have a hard time believing he was involved in anything like that. It destroyed his family. 

Also, I agree that the family of the man didn't commit the crime and they will need good friends more now than ever. If you can be a support for them please do so. But don't get dragged into anything you don't want to be involved in! 

yupididit said:

Under the rules of war some of us have taken lives. Is it murder? 

Homicide, yes. Murder, no.

Buddy I was stationed with was Filipino, was using the military for citizenship.  Said that before he joined he was in a gang.  One day his gang was in a fight with another and just before the cops showed up and told 'em to berk off he grabbed this guy's arm and stabbed him in the armpit

Not sure how long the knife was, or if he actually killed the guy, but if its done right that's a killing blow.

Yes, he is serving life in Illinois now and for the last twenty years.

Sadly, yes, a college friend–and sad for his victims, not him. 

Not a friend but a customer.

I always loved talking to my customers and learning more about them while I worked.  One day I was working in an area that wasn't the worse but not the best either.  One of the questions I would ask to get them talking was "Where did you move from?"  This guy responds that he just got out of prison for murder.  That'll make you take a mental step back.  Not only for what he went in for but also realizing what he had to become to survive that long in prison.  I still remember that he had a Roadmaster wagon.  We ended up talking about that more than his past.

My mom tried to kill me when I was four. Does that count?

In reply to Floating Doc (Forum Supporter) :

I know that you've shared a few details about that to me.  Is that something that you want to share with others?

I had a session with a young guy when I was a practicing mental health counselor about 4 years ago. The psychologist at my work was criminally incompetent and diagnosing people with "generalized anxiety" because it was easy to bill for, but a lot of them were really disturbed. We're talking dangerously schizophrenic, bipolar with delusions, suicidal MDD, etc. 

Anyway, this guy comes in for a session with me and he's wound so tight he was like a combat vet straight off the boat. Schizoaffective possibly, has hallucinations and delusions. I put in my report that he should undergo a safety evaluation and that his diagnoses should be reconsidered. The psych does none of that and transfers him to another counselor. 

A few months later I left that hellhole. A few months after that the same guy was front page headlines for murdering a random guy in cold blood by driving over him with his truck. Twice. Guy is still in prison awaiting his trial, left behind a girlfriend and a newborn. I think the psychologist should be in the cell with him. 

Stampie said:

In reply to Floating Doc (Forum Supporter) :

I know that you've shared a few details about that to me.  Is that something that you want to share with others?

I am sure it was done to try to hurt my dad. 
 

Briefly, we were living in Orlando, and my dad had an art school in Winter Park. They were having problems, and my dad was spending the week at the art school, and coming home on the weekends. That was on the advice of her therapist, which may have been influenced by the fact that he (the therapist) was also sleeping with her. 

Starting on Sunday night, she withheld food and water from me. Wednesday, my dad got a feeling that he needed to come home and check on me. By then I was dehydrated enough that my lips were pulled back from my teeth.

He walked into the house and went straight to my crib (I guess I was younger than four), and carried me straight out the front door. I spent a few days in the hospital on fluids. At that time, there probably was no system to report suspected neglect to the state for an investigation.

Lucky for me, I grew up without her. That's also a hell of a story, but for another time.

I went to high school with Chuck Riley (look up "Barbeque Murders").

Friend and pretty good mechanic was caught with kiddie porn after a fire in his house.  The detective says it's unlikely that he never acted on it, no proof but he went to jail.  Got paroled and caught again with porn at a car dealership he worked at, back in.

You can Google sex offenders in your County, this guy has been released every other year since about 2003, still there.  It must be bad when every time you get horns you end up in jail, and I don't care what your particular thing is, just keep kids out of it.

We weren't exactly friends, but we grew up together and he got to walk from it.

Former now, at the time current, state senators son raped and murdered his boyfriend/crush, but it was ruled a suicide. Because so many people commit suicide by shooting themselves in the back of the head while not leaving fingerprints on the gun. It's amazing the things you learn that don't make the news when you're eating lunch with judges. 

One of my ex high school girlfriends robbed a pharmacy at 20 with her boyfriend and got hauled in for a few years after a 8 hour stand off. 

In reply to 914Driver :

Yeah. Acquaintance got arrested for that. I cut ties immediately.

Did you mean "unlikely he ever acted" or "unlikely he never acted"?

I had a manager at work. I think he may have been younger than I. This was at an insurance claim center. He was demanding to work for, but I begrudgingly admitted he was generally fair. He moved up the corporate ladder and I left the company for greener pastures.

Probably a dozen years later a former co-worker is talking to me on the phone about work stuff and asks me if I knew about Jared, our former manager. She tells me the story, which I think is made up, but Googled it while still talking to her. Totally true.

He had left his wife and kids. Started dating a school teacher. Lost his job (now at a different company). School teacher apparently broke up with him. So, he decided the best thing to do was kill her. It didn't take the police long to figure out he was the main suspect as he had conveniently gone missing. Cornered him in a mall parking lot where he shot himself before they could do an arrest.

When I knew him, he was the last guy on earth you'd have picked to do something like this. 

My first cousin shot his step-father at a family reunion we were all attending...  That was pretty messed up.  It came to light at trial that the step-father was sexually and physically abusing him and his sister... We were all shocked.  

The step-father is somewhere in the hills of Idaho, and my cousin was released from prison last year and is doing his best to re-enter society in a functional way.  The family mostly* supports him.  We can laugh about it now, but it was a pretty traumatic event that messed a lot ofmy family up. 

Murder/homicide. Fortunately, no. Or at least not that I'm aware of. 

One of my old band mates was convicted of distributing child pornography. We were fairly close during the band days (early 90's), but had drifted apart when the band broke up and I got more into cycling and cars. I had seen him a few times watching our old bass player's new bands and they were still pretty close when he was arrested.  We were shocked, but after reading the report on what he was being charged with, I knew it was within his computer skill set. He was doing message board stuff back in the early-mid 90's well before the internet as we know it now became mainstream.  I've had no contact with him since the news broke, but my old bass player was contacted by him. He apparently showed no remorse for what he had done and offered no apologies.  He has apparently been working to set up a new music studio, but otherwise we have no contact with him. 

Murder? No. 

I had an uncle who was a pretty successful dentist. Had his own practice, a nice house, a wife, and 2 kids.  He got mixed up in prescription drugs and decided a 357 to the ear was better than facing the music for what he had done. He had been using patients' names to fill prescriptions to feed his habit and the cops were tipped off about it. I guess the 357 was easier than admitting he had a problem and getting help with it. 

I was about 19 at the time and I'm still pretty pissed about it. His inability to face the consequences of his actions cost a woman her husband and two kids their father. It always seemed to be the actions of a selfish coward to me.