Driven5 said:I'm sorry to report, but the person who came up with the term "terrible twos" must have felt really foolish after their kid turned three.
Good luck...You're going to need it.
Quoted for emphasis.
Driven5 said:I'm sorry to report, but the person who came up with the term "terrible twos" must have felt really foolish after their kid turned three.
Good luck...You're going to need it.
Quoted for emphasis.
I can say one thing.
All the stuff that is flying around from the internet, TV, movies, books, school indoctrination, kids at school, etc,; the kid has a lot of jangled up information floating around in her head and its competing with what you think is "the right thing" .
In reply to Datsun310Guy :
I had two, one was my pride and joy, always did the right stuff, and told the truth.
The other went the opposite way.
They are now in their 30’s The good daughter is mad at her father because while her kids all had a role in my recent wedding she didn’t
The other has never been closer .
I'd set fire to the one in my home if I could. I fear for the poor girls future, but she wont listen to anyone. Her latest is shes going to get a fiat shipped in because she cant find one she likes locally despite having no credit, no education, 10$ an hour part time swiping tables at a pizza place...
She actually said she would refuse a free car if it wasnt the one she wanted. How the hell do you get that attitude? I've got my hands full with my own E36 M3show, I dont have time for this too.
For as stubborn and downright bitchy as my 3 year old is, I don't expect both of us to survive her teenage years. She's got her father's misanthropic attitude and a stubbornness that's foreign to all parties involved in her creation. At least I curbed her violent streak, for now.
Shes 3 and you already have that all figured out? Lol.
Based on many, many years of watching girls grow up, the single most important factor I can point to in girls who grow up to be confident, successful women is the certain knowledge that their Dads think they're great. Not "perfect," because "kids these days" can see through that happy-happy E36M3 immediately, just great. With that bedrock foundation, they can go out and make mistakes, learn from them, bounce back, and find their way.
To argue the contrary case, think about the girl who doesn't think she's worth loving because her Dad never did, or never told her, or never told her enough.
How Moms cope with this, I dunno; we had sons. But I figure this whole "talk to us like adults" idea has a lot going for it.
Pete Gossett said:In reply to Datsun310Guy :
We were lucky & never really experienced any of this with either of our 2 girls. Sure, they had occasional drama at school, but nothing that we ever received a call about.
I was talking about this with the younger of the two a couple weeks ago, who’s 18 now, along the lines of “I’m not sure how we managed to avoid all that teenaged girl drama?” She replied “It probably because you guys always treated & talked to us like adults.”
Idk if there’s truly any merit to that, but it’s her perspective anyway.
This seems to be working for my brother.
Mine did dumb things at 15. We sorted that out. Then she applied to early college. It would have been rough if she hadn't gotten in and she had to be bored getting straight A's for her last two years of high school. The right place for her to become herself is away from home. I miss her.
Driven5 said:RossD said:My 2 yo daughter has the stubbornness and determination that makes me want a bucket too. ALREADY!
I'm sorry to report, but the person who came up with the term "terrible twos" must have felt really foolish after their kid turned three.
Good luck...You're going to need it.
My oldest is about to turn 4 and shes been so much fun. 3 is an amazing age. They’re figuring out so much stuff and language is really clicking and they start making jokes and .. I found 2 to be awesome too. Sure there are challenges but I didn’t get into this because I thought it would be easy!!
Self esteem is key.
Young women still have a lot of negative words thrown at them by "grown ups." My 7 year old was laughed at recently when she said she was going to be a great pediatrician. Squashing girls dreams....and pressure to be attractive. I didn't expect it to start impacting her so young. I compliment her strength, compassion, and intelligence. I let her fail and teach her to try again. Hopefully she can withstand our society trying to push her down.
My 21 year old fought the fight but eventually cracked under the pressure. Her acting up in the late teens I came to find was due to many adults telling her to drop her dream. My wife and I just couldn't compete with the other voices I guess.
As a father it is hard to accept the walls and forces acting against your kid. Realize that women have to play a different game from you. F1 versus chess. Focus on your transition to parenting a teen and adult. Different skills.
Stealthtercel said:Based on many, many years of watching girls grow up, the single most important factor I can point to in girls who grow up to be confident, successful women is the certain knowledge that their Dads think they're great. Not "perfect," because "kids these days" can see through that happy-happy E36M3 immediately, just great. With that bedrock foundation, they can go out and make mistakes, learn from them, bounce back, and find their way.
To argue the contrary case, think about the girl who doesn't think she's worth loving because her Dad never did, or never told her, or never told her enough.
How Moms cope with this, I dunno; we had sons. But I figure this whole "talk to us like adults" idea has a lot going for it.
I hope this bodes well for us. As horrible of a human being as I am, I’d like to think mrs. poop and I are pretty awesome parents.
That being said: I’ve got it comin’. If nothing else, cosmic karmic retribution for the hell I put my parents/step-parents/neighbors/teachers/clergy/etc through. I will take it like a man, knowing I deserve every last bit of it.
I have had three. Oldest is just 30 youngest is 17. Treat them with respect. Respect there ideas. Don’t get wound up about the small stuff and always be there friend as well as a dad. Offer to do stuff with them. Yes this includes shopping. Don’t press them to try things you want them to do. Listen to them and if they mention something they want to try you try to make it happen. (With in reason). Most of all have fun with them.
Maybe there's a reason that historically, people are willing to pay someone to take them off their hands?
Dr. Hess said:Maybe there's a reason that historically, people are willing to pay someone to take them off their hands?
I think it's a given that the OP doesn't have enough goats or cows to get rid of them, so he's going to have to deal with it another way! :)
(I say this as a father of five with two daughters, 8 & 5).
I haven't made it to teen years yet, but I can tell you that every kid has a different "Terrible X" age. Two of them have been 3, one so far has been 5. She's 5 now and snapping out of it, but she was the sweetest little thing @ 2 & 3.
Some really good advice. I've raised two. They are 19 and 17 now. I have raised them both to be strong and independent. If you do that be prepared to deal with a girl who acts that way. I think its a good thing, not all men do. I also taught them to think its a good thing, and if a man can't deal with it it is his problem.
Raised 2 girls. 36 & 31 now so it's been a day or two since they were 16. My friends used to tease me that I was outnumbered as even my dog was girl. Oldest one I was kinda lucky, she was a nerd back then. Gifted, National Honor Society, the whole works. Which sometimes led to her being to smart for her own good. The youngest, well.... she was a handful. And our situation was a probably a bit different. Their mom (SWMBO) was born and raised in Korea and didn't come from a well to do background. Had to work for everything she had and didn't get the educational opportunities that we take for granted. Plus Korean family traditions are a bit different and girls are treated differently. More restrictions. Needless to say that made for a lot of mom/daughter arguments and disagreements. I was used as the source of reason and often had to explain to their mom American traditions. Other times I sided with mom and they just went to their rooms for a while. Basically I was the one they went to to talk. Do find it somewhat amusing that now my daughters thank us for how we did things with them. Never told them we was winging it and making it up. Had more problems with them when they were over 18 to mid-20's than when they were 16. Both finally grew up, settled down and doing well. Oldest is a program manager with the Army Corps of Engineers and the same level as dad (GS-13). Married with 2 sons. Youngest is an RN working Neuro ICU and engaged.
Do find it amusing now that both of them and their significant others are more afraid of their 5 foot even mom than me. And I'm just under 6' and a retired army staff sergeant.
Good Luck!!!
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