Misheard

Is it just me, or do people here constantly run across people who have misheard things?

I sit next to a guy at work who has worked with cars for most of his life. I heard him on the phone tell someone they need to buy some Anti-Seige compound to apply to the back of his brake pads. The guy on the phone then questioned him about where to acquire it, his response was "go to auto zone or whatever and ask them for Anti-Seige. S-E-I-G-E."

what is your best story?

The local classified section has repeatedly listed cars with a B8 engine for sale. Sad thing is that the newspaper classified person is the one who thinks cars come with B8's.

If you had a castle with a drained moat and a faulty drawbridge, you might need some anti-seige.

Similarly, people look at my like I'm insane when they ask what engine I have in my Miata and I say, "B6."

I know, I know, It's the B6ZE yadda yadda, but I say B6 mostly for the reaction of them thinking I said V6

Also, a co-worker would tell customers about the hydraulic disc brake "calibers" on our mountain bikes all the time. Drove me insane.

In AutoZone the Anti-Siege is between the Brass Magnets and the Stretch Paint

'Catalinas converter'. I swear.

The funniest thing I have ever seen was a shop foreman who sent a newbie over to a machine shop on an errand. His task? Pick up a box of assorted valve clearances.

I was reading the local paper at lunch today, and there was some silly decorating article about hanging an old serving tray on the wall and using it for a message board. The idea was to use magnets to hold the messages to the tray. The article said, "If the tray is silver plated or aluminum, magnets will stick to it.

In reply to Jensenman:

A recent CL listing for a Neon said the car had a new "cadillac converter." Despite this, it still looked like a Neon.

I was in a snack shop at the zoo when a guy comes in and asks if all of their drinks are carbureted?

If I was thinking faster and felt a bit snarky, I would have said: "no sir, those are all fuel injected"

I was doing temp work while waiting for a job to open up about fifteen years ago. The shop I was working in did big electric motors and would employ 150-200 on most shifts. There was a building related electrical failure in the shop that required us to go home for the day. I had carpooled with a buddy that worked in the area but did not get the awesome half day off that I got. While waiting for my GF to pick me up I waited at the Donut Shop down the road chugging cruellers like a fat kid before prom. A gentleman sits down next to me at the counter and glances at me and says "Hey" I tip my hat and respond in kind and stare back into my newspaper I then hear "Are you bald?" Shocked I look over at the guy quizzically and grin out a "No, I have plenty of hair!" and pull off my hat. "No... ARE YOU BORED!".

One time while waiting on grid of a trans-am race, a fellow car chief was talking to his driver and they noticed a guy with two or more scantily clad females using lewd tactics to get the attention of folks on grid. A discussion ensued as the driver recognized the gentleman and his harem and was describing the character and his profession, at some length, to the car cheif.

To end the conversation, the car cheif says..."And he makes corn flakes, huh?"

"NO!" saysthe driver, "He makes porn flicks!"

I was meeting up with my buddy at a Formula 1 get together to watch a race one morning in Atlanta. As we were talking during the Pre Race discussions, i was telling him about new software we are developing for new Volkswagens. The discussion got into the new DSG transmission and how we can change the shift pattern thru the computer.

As the race coverage was going to commercial and there is a couple seconds of silence between broadcast and commercial was when i said the following:

"Ya, we are flashin trannies"

right then, we had about 40 for 50 faces looking at us completely confused. All we could do is smile and continue our conversation...

I heard a guy asking for Vent Shades (you know, the plastic things you glue on doors to keep the windows cracked and the rain out?) at a parts store. He said something like "I need the things on the door that keep the rain out." To which the counter guy said "Uh...do you mean the windows? Customer walks out, red faced. I laughed.

Since I was the first to work on it, I always got the call to repair the particle size classifier at work. One day, my partner asked me if I would show him how to repair the pacifier.

While working as an intern at a video/film production house in Balto, I heard a funny one. When shooting film after the director thinks that he had a good take, he'll instruct the photographer to pull the lens to make sure there is no dust or hair in the gate that might end up ruining what the director thought was a good take...

So, many times the client would be on set and would often get intrigued with all of the "excitement". The one client was particularly nosy and wanted to learn everything about the "film biz". Towards the end of the day, he starts to ask about the chocolate cake. We have no idea what he's talking about, and after a few more scenes he asks again why the director keeps talking about "chocolate cake" we finally realize he's hearing "check the gates" as "chocolate cake".

"Tickle your ass with a feather?"

"What?!"

"Uh.. I mean.. particularly nasty weather."

Me, wearing my headphones, 1996, and the japenese foreign exchange student asks "what kind of music?" "primus", says I. "No!" "what kind of music?" "primus" I say again. Finally, she repeats, "WHAT TIME IS IT???". "oh" "it's 12:30".

Joey

ClemSparks wrote: One time while waiting on grid of a trans-am race, a fellow car chief was talking to his driver and they noticed a guy with two or more scantily clad females using lewd tactics to get the attention of folks on grid. A discussion ensued as the driver recognized the gentleman and his harem and was describing the character and his profession, at some length, to the car cheif. To end the conversation, the car cheif says..."And he makes corn flakes, huh?" "NO!" saysthe driver, "He makes porn flicks!"

cowboy hat, photographer's vest, khaki shorts? Max Hardcore? he's in prison now. apparently it's OK to have chix in your movies pretending to talk to their father on the cell phone about what they did in school that day, dressed up like 12-year-olds. but if they actually say that they're 12 years old, the feds get involved.

I was just reminded of one; intensive purposes. The phrase is intents and purposes.

No funny story to go with it, just a gripe.

my gripe.. : when people say "Icould care less when that clearly isn't what they mean

hint: I couldn't care less

When people say "smokey mirrors" for "smoke and mirrors".

As a repair shop foreman in Texas, I get lots of fun ones.

Cylinoid and PVC top my list.

Outside the shop the one that gets me is "irregardless."

Hmm, how about people saying a car "runs like a raped date". Im not s ure if thats more or less disturbing than the original version though.

Those are all good ones.

I've noticed a new one specific to internet forums, lately. People saying should of (I should of bought a Miata), instead of should have , or should've.

On a forum where I could do it, I used a word filter for 'prolly'.

If you use that word, it changes to 'look at me, I'm retarded'.

My all time pet peeve is, have your cake, and eat it, too.

It should be, eat your cake, and have it too.

Ect. makes me crazy.