My nephew became a statistic today

My prayers are with you and your family.

Am absolutely gutted to hear of your family's loss and pain and honored to be in a community that you feel is worthy of sharing life's most difficult events.

Brian

So sorry for your family's loss. My thoughts are prayers are with you.

you're a stronger guy than I to be able to share that story. really numbing to read...i can't imagine handling what your family is going through.

your family is in our thoughts.

We are here to listen whenever you need us, brother.

Very sorry for your loss.

Thank you all for the kind words. Today starts a new day that in many ways is full of hope, yet still too tinged with sadness.

Pondering and wandering thoughts woke me early this morning, prompting me out of bed and hour before the alarm. Two lives were lost, almost exactly 12 hours apart. One an elderly priest who had helped innumerable people during his 65 years of wearing a collar, and the other a 15 year old young man who could not be helped.

One was in a peaceful sleep, the other quick and violent, but both answers are the same, neither is in our lives today. It is amazing how both resilient and fragile life is. It seems to recover from almost any accident as long as it has the will to go on, but as soon as that will has left, it all falls apart and tumbles to ground.

We will never know what was actually going on with my nephew, if there had been that brief split second where he changed his mind or not, we only have the end result of his actions to deal with. I do not blame him as so many would, my own life has been shaped by my own almost suicide at a very similar age (for much different reasons) and I know that it was not a selfish act, but one of love.

Yes, Love. My nephew was hurting emotionally and mentally, to the point where all he could see and feel was hurt in his life and in those lives around him. When you are in that state, you are so wrapped up in pain that you truly believe you are hurting other people. He felt that his pain was destroying his parent's marriage (and now might really do so), that it was causing anguish among all he knew and loved, his Brother and Sister especially. In the end, the taking of his own short life was the ultimate act of love. He wanted to end his pain and the damage he felt he was doing to those around him.

Now it is time to pick up the pieces and hope he is in a far better place than this flawed and pain filled world

I am so sorry to hear of this. My sincere condolences.

Condolences man. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you, much less his parents. You'll be in our prayers.

When you hear a story like this, you try to think of things to say, to comfort those involved, or try to convey how it makes you feel...it doesnt take long to realize, no words will suffice. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Like many of us here, I'm a parent myself. I can't even begin to fathom the thought of having to bury one of my kids.

So incredibly sorry to hear about the news.

mad_machine wrote: Yes, Love.

That's what your family needs to spread around right now. Take care.

There are a lot of people here trying to add to it. Hug everyone really or virtually until you can really.

As one who has, and continues, to battle depression, my deepest condolences. It's an evil sickness that has the chance to be treated if we as a society would actually consider it the physical illness that it is. I cannot begin to understand the grief your family is dealing with at this time and hope nothing but the best for you all.

My thoughts are with you.

My condolences, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Remember, let those people who may be in a dark place know that you're there. Let them know that they aren't alone, and help is available. Hopefully they'll listen.

Bobzilla wrote: As one who has, and continues, to battle depression, my deepest condolences. It's an evil sickness that has the chance to be treated if we as a society would actually consider it the physical illness that it is. I cannot begin to understand the grief your family is dealing with at this time and hope nothing but the best for you all.

I'm very thankful that I don't think I have to deal with it.

But as an observation based on recent events.... Mental illness is not accepted widely as a real illness because 1) you can't really see it, and 2) it's really hard to deal with. It's not a cut you can fix. It's not lung trama that can be worked on.

It's more like a brain cancer where you can't see what's going on, you really can not do anything about it, and in the end, it's incredibly destructive.

As a society, many are what I would call "fixers". This is something that we can't fix. So we bury it, and in the process bury other peoples problems.

I'm sure that does not help deal with the problem. But that's how I precieve the general public views mental illness.

I do so wish it can be fixed.

alfadriver wrote: I do so wish it can be fixed.

It can be, in some cases. Drugs can (and often do) help, but they don't fix it--don't get me wrong, they are a godsend, but they don't fix it. Time, talking, understanding, and love can "fix" it. My fiance has it. Used to be very bad. Now it only rears its ugly head when she is tired and frustrated. But when she is around a dog? Nothing sets her off.

I am desparate for the day that we can get a dog. I love dogs, always have, and would love to have one around--but more than that, I look forward to the anti-depressive qualities that they provide.

mtn wrote:

alfadriver wrote: I do so wish it can be fixed.

It can be, in some cases. Drugs can (and often do) help, but they don't fix it--don't get me wrong, they are a godsend, but they don't fix it. Time, talking, understanding, and love can "fix" it. My fiance has it. Used to be very bad. Now it only rears its ugly head when she is tired and frustrated. But when she is around a dog? Nothing sets her off. I am desparate for the day that we can get a dog. I love dogs, always have, and would love to have one around--but more than that, I look forward to the anti-depressive qualities that they provide.

I have 3. / I think they do more than any therapy/drug does some days. Others.... not so much.lol

There are a lot of drugs on the market that target certain chemicals in the brain. I was lucky to work with a psych and doctor that listened and adjusted as needed to get it right. IIRC, I didn't get good results until the 6th try. The 4th produced my first ever suicidal thoughts.... and I can tell you from someone that "wants to live" that is quite possibly the scariest moment of my life when I realized what was happening.

The moral of this story is: If you are suffering from this, don't give up. There are options and people to help, but just like people, everyone is affected differently so what works for Joe may not work for Sue and neither work for Jim.

My thoughts are with you and your family. Not much more I can say.

My deepest condolences, for your nephew's troubles in life and in death. My thoughts are with your families.

I don't really know what to say other than that you have my sympathy and I will keep your family in my prayers.

Be thankful that he did not involve anyone else in the shooting, if there is any silver lining in such a tragedy.

I just want to reiterate what others have said - we are here for your support. Thoughts and prayers indeed.

I missed this thread yesterday. I am so very very sorry for you, your family and the young man. Unfortunately I've experienced something similar in the past, so I know to a certain extent what you must be going through. Sending love and kind thoughts to your whole family. Stay strong and stay together.

nothing I can say will ease your burdens … just know that you're in my thoughts and prayers