My new job rocks.

My job is unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big dog to work. Every berkeleying day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single day.

Anyway, I drive these idiots around in my van and we solve mysteries and E36 M3.

scooby snacks?

Good post. Sounds the ingrediants of a good short story.

Or even a cartoon!

My new job is pretty cool. I pilot a mid-sized sailing ship, which is pretty hard, but I eat a lot of canned green vegatables, and it seems to keep my strength up pretty well. Pulling on the rigging has given me some weird looking over-developed forearms, but it gives me more room for tatoos.

My love life OTOH, is kinda weird. I'm hooked up with this really skinny chick, but this oversized bearded guy keeps coming between us. Sometimes I have to fight him over her, and she doesn't seem to be able to make up her mind about which of us she wants to be with.

So you're the good looking smart guy.....

Get help.

That was good,it actually made me laugh.

I was picturing an office job with the "hot" chick as the stereotypical gum smacking receptionist and the more homely as an actuary or something. Then I read the bit about the stoner and was instantly reminded of one (okay several) of my former co-workers. Then the part about the dog...what kind of job would allow you to bring large slobbering,pooping creatures to work? Oh..."RUBYROO!!"

I work with this really awesome girl. Shes cool and funny and really pretty. Then there are a few other guys, and we do work around a park. I drive a huge mower. Like 16 feet of grass in one pass huge. Its awesome.

Wait, I dont think I get this game...

Joey

Joey, you were headed for "Caddyshack" there, but then you seem to have missed a couple cones, so we are going to have to give you an "off-course" for this run.

My job as a scientist has given me a new lease on life. I get to backpack in remote areas and my room mate seems pretty cool. I never see him but he always leaves his torn shirts around. Actually the guy is kind of a dick because most of the torn shirts are mine and there are always giant holes in the wall where that douche runs through them. Now that I think about it I don't know if I have ever actually MET him. Anyway like my favorite college professor used to say "Banner, you seem so envious of everyone in this department, you are lucky we don't smack your ass around and neuter you with gamma rays!" boy that guy was funny.

My job is interesting. I work in this quasi-pera-military group, but all we get are these dart guns. I was out of it for a while but I went back, even tho I started when they kidnapped me when I was 15. My boss is all about arching this super-scientist and his sons. But the boss'es wife is SUPER HOT and I don't think he really apreciates her. Unfortunatly she has these psycho midgets that keep trying to kill me.

My best friend was this tall, skinny guy who kind of sounded like Ray Ramano. Saddly he was killed in our last battle when the bosses car blew up.

I just took a part time job on a small tourist boat. The cruises are short (only 3 hours), so it leaves plenty of time for other things. The skipper seems a bit hot-headed, but it seems like I'll meet lots of interesting people from all walks of life. Wish me luck!

I got this wicked job in hawaii... I drive around a Ferrari 308 with "Robin 1" on the plates, I am a private investigator. I love my moustache.

¡Viva los Muertos!

Best episode of Venture Borthers evar was "The Groovy Gang" episode.

"Being out of the box isn't a right, its a priveledge, do you wanna go back in the box?"

Well I work as a delivery boy... on a spaceship... er, 1000 years in the future... There's really no way to make this one subtle is there?

I got really p-o'ed one day and quit my job. Whole career, actually, screw 'em. I drove the Lotus home and was packing my stuff for a vacation that I really, really needed when, next thing I knew, I woke up in a new apartment in a funny black suit with those old timey big wheel bicycles all over the new neighborhood. And the TV here sux big time. You can't even get a decent beer in this place and this giant weather baloon keeps following me.

Haha, good one.

Mental wrote: ¡Viva los Muertos! Best episode of Venture Borthers evar was "The Groovy Gang" episode. "Being out of the box isn't a right, its a priveledge, do you wanna go back in the box?"

I hope I just came up with this:

"Just because you can think outside of the box, it doesn't mean we are going to let you out of it."

Dr. Hess wrote: I got really p-o'ed one day and quit my job. Whole career, actually, screw 'em. I drove the Lotus home and was packing my stuff for a vacation that I really, really needed when, next thing I knew, I woke up in a new apartment in a funny black suit with those old timey big wheel bicycles all over the new neighborhood. And the TV here sux big time. You can't even get a decent beer in this place and this giant weather baloon keeps following me.

"Who is number one?"

"You are number six." (Or is it: "You are, number six."?)

"We want.. information."

"You won't get it!"

Talk about obscure, arcane stuff! I have the entire VHS collection of episodes, and the book that goes with it.

Be seeing you...

I build airplanes with bubble gum and paper clips for a government contractor to help rescue captured heads of state and keep weapons out of the hands of soviet terrorists. In my free time I love to play hockey, and take vacations to remote places which usually leads to more work. I have a stereotypically rotund and jovial boss who tends to cause more problems for our foundation than anything, but for some reason I stay loyal to him. My best friend is a scatterbrained pilot who is constantly getting into trouble, and I always have to rescue him.

I had to give up my sailor job, but since I was familiar with the military, I was able to transfer to an Army camp. I share barracks with some pretty neat guys. One guy is a real skirt chaser, another one is always reading books and spouting deep thoughts. There's one guy that's dumb as a box of rocks, but he's pretty nice to hang with, plus this one fellow who gambles all the time, but can get you anything you want, for a price.

The C.O. is and old General who's pretty much senile. He does have a real fox for a secretary. Mostly the only trouble I've been having is the Sargent, who kicks my butt all the time. I like to sleep in late and goof off some, so I spend a good bit of my time hiding from him behind trees or in trash cans. He has a bad habit of falling off cliffs.

Thankfully, my momma sends me fudge and cookies on a regular basis, and the hot secretary takes me out on the town sometimes.

I escaped from a military prison where I was being held foir a crime I didn't commit. I travel around in a bitchin' van with some other escapees helping young women and their somewhat feeble fathers hold on to family farms. I don't like to fly but they keep knockin' me out and sending me off with some fool that escaped for the nut hut. Even though we are highly skilled soliders of fortune we have never hurt anyone no matter how many surplus Jeeps we blow up or turn over.

Or how many rounds you fire through those magic Mini-14's that never jam.

"I'd like a trash bag, if you've got one."