My stories of how my family is more redneck and screwed up than yours.

Sister's Ex-Husband left her and started dating my nephew's *he raised from 5yo till 19? I think* g/f.  They ended up having a kid together. 

In reply to Teh E36 M3 :

Is that a Tylor and the Train Robbers T shirt? Was that at the Braun Brothers Reunion? Always wanted to go.

My "Grandmother" is really my Great Aunt, and my "Great Aunt" is really my Grandmother

So the best story in my family happened quite a while ago. I'm not sure of the exact time, but figure late 1800s, early 1900s. This was the same lineage that had brothers fighting against each other in the Civil War. 

My Great-Great-Great Grandpa was killed by my Great-Great-Great-Great Grandpa. This was in either Kentucky or southern Indiana, we can't quite figure it out, but it was supposedly in "Dogtown", which would have been Indiana in a horseshoe created by the Ohio River by Evansville and Henderson.

3G was married to 4Gs daughter. They had a bunch of kids, the oldest of whom was a daughter. 3G was a drunk, a cheat, and generally speaking a ne'er do well. Well one day he left, this time ostensibly for good. His wife went back to her parents, with all the kids. About 2 weeks later, he comes back, walking up to 4Gs house, and 4G steps out on the porch with a shotgun. 3G wants to take his oldest daughter and leave. 4G says, "if you take one step closer, I'm going to shoot you". 3G calls his bluff, 4G wasn't bluffing, and shot him. 

The community quickly got together, had a quick trial of sorts, and found 4G innocent on grounds of neighborhood improvement. 

Next best story is my cousin who decided that, for his 3rd marriage, he'd get a ring tattooed. Shockingly, the marriage only lasted a month or two. He tried all sorts of stuff to burn that tattoo off, and ended up getting it surgically removed by his sister (a veterinarian). 

Nothing too spectacular in my family, other than that my dad insists real Brunswick stew requires squirrels. And some of my project pickup trucks.

But my wife worked for a while at a small town funeral home and had some interesting stories. My favorite was the time an undertaker showed up at the hospital to collect a body, and the family was having a fistfight in the parking lot.

Mine is not much but my wife has 4 male cousins in one family  David, Donald, Dennis and Daniel.  David is an easy one.

We don't see them more than once in 3-5 years but being from 'bama they go by Denny, Danny, and Donny.  I get confused as to who is which one.  
 

Denny, Danny, Donny