Not burning bridges… I’d like to hear your anecdotes about leaving jobs.

As I mentioned in another thread, I have an interview this week. I’m not putting the cart ahead of the horse; I don’t think I’ll get this position and expect it to take about 2-3 more months before I get an offer from somewhere—but I like to prepare for various situations, and in this situation there is a possibility that I get an offer. I’d like to hear everyone’s thoughts and experiences.

My team has 5 people. I love the people I work with. In my area and industry, there is a good chance I will work with some of them again, if I stay in the industry—I don’t want to be in the industry long term, but it may be my career. We’re understaffed as it is. Part of the reason I’m leaving is that I’ve been tasked with managing a program that I’m just not qualified for (and yes, I’ve told people I am not qualified and I do not want it—it will not end well for the company), but I’m the best we have right now.

Well, the reason I am worried about burning bridges is not because of anything I’ve done in the past or would do, but the timing of it all. Our best employee (more senior than my peer, less senior than my supervisor) is going to be going on maternity leave soon for 12 weeks. She’ll basically be out until after Thanksgiving. And my peer is going on a two week vacation in September. That would leave an already understaffed team of 5, that management thought was going to be down to 3/4, now down to 2 for 2 weeks, then just 3 for 2.5 months.

• I don’t want to leave them in such a hole.
• I am leaving for (1) less/more appropriate responsibility, and (2) more money. Frankly, both are a requirement for me at this point.
• I have a vacation in August that I’m really not planning on missing. If I were to get an offer from this interview I’m going on, I would try to negotiate a start date for when I return.
• If I gave notice and were walked to the door, I’d be fine. I’ll have a payout of 2-3 weeks of vacation, plus 2.5 weeks of pay due to me.
• If my current job matched my offer… frankly, I don’t think I’d stay. It has been too high stress here lately and the culture has taken a change that I don’t see changing for the next 2-3 years.
• At the end of the day, I’m looking out for ME. But part of looking out for me is not burning bridges.

My current thought is that if I get an offer, get the start date for as far in the future as I can--hopefully 4 weeks, which would effectively give me a 3 week notice (vacation), then work as hard as I possibly can to (1) tie up loose ends, (2) document everything that isn't/won't be tied up, (3) get as far ahead on the projects I have open, including working overtime for my last few days/weeks here. Obviously all hypothetical as I haven't even had a conversation with anyone other than the recruiter.

So… Anyone with any thoughts on this? Normally I’d never give it a second thought, but I’m just worried because of my colleagues leave (maternity and vacation). Oh, and FWIW—don’t think this is all on management. We’ve had a lot of disruption at the company recently—an acquisition (us getting acquired), retirement of a key person, expectations of his replacement, new governmental requirements, etc. It is just kind of a perfect storm of events to put this situation where it is.

Oh, and my one experience leaving a job was another not-quite usual one. I couldn’t give a 2 week notice due to the way that the bonus/401k match/everything else fell, but I gave 1.5 weeks, had hinted to everyone involved that it would be happening, and had as much wrapped up as I could. I wasn’t all that worried about burning bridges though; 95% of those people are lifers with that company, and 3 have since left the workforce to be SAHM/SAHD.

Your intention is noble. But if you do get an offer, don't let your desire to help out the current gig become an issue with the new gig.

Where I'm at now, I ran into the unfortunate position of not having any time between. Ended one job on Friday, started the new one on Monday.

Hire me for a few days at the current place.

Seriously, I've had close to 20 jobs across multiple industries since I turned 14, the only 2 places still in business are the Wendy's by my house and the Japanese restaurant that's being used as a tax shelter. Everywhere else has either outsourced to cheaper wages, gone bankrupt at a corporate level, or just disappeared all together.

So just hire me, something will come down from on high and close the place, and you won't have to worry about anything.

If you are staying in the industry, play nice.
My personal experience:

Started with Sprint to lanuch the Toledo, OH market. Took Promo to help launch Detroit market.

Got recruited away by ATT when to launch the Toledo market. Job was so exactly the same that the main difference was that one logo was yellow and the other blue, ha. The job change did come with about 20 thousand more reasons to like it which is where I coined the phrase, "same circus, different clowns but more peanuts; and its all about the peanuts!"

Recruited away by Nextel to launch Boost Mobile for Indiana, Ohio, Kentucky and Pittsburgh.
It was the best job that anyone could ever want for 6 years. The trouble being that I was there for 7 years. Yeah, that's right, toward the end Nextel was bought by Sprint and I was back to working for a company I had tried to get away from 10 years earlier.

z31maniac wrote: Your intention is noble. But if you do get an offer, don't let your desire to help out the current gig become an issue with the new gig.

This 100%. If/when you get an offer, then you can discuss the terms of leaving your present employer with your future one. If it comes up during the interview, you can tell them you'd need to give your present employer a minimum of 2-weeks notice. There's no reason to state otherwise.

"3 week notice (vacation), then work as hard as I possibly can to (1) tie up loose ends, (2) document everything that isn't/won't be tied up, (3) get as far ahead on the projects I have open, including working overtime for my last few days/weeks here."

These are all things that nice people worry about, but a complete waste of time in my experience. If you were having personal issues at home and needed 10 days off with pay on top of your vacation, would this employer do that? If the answer is no, then I would forget all that altruistic BS.

Companies are bought and sold and restructured and acquired and leveraged all the time, and what you think is important and vital is often tossed in the trash as soon as you're out the door. I would keep it professional and give the proper amount of notice, but do what is best for YOU and not worry too much about what impact it is having on them. If they didn't want to worry about you leaving, you would be making more money in a better environment.

pinchvalve wrote: "3 week notice (vacation), then work as hard as I possibly can to (1) tie up loose ends, (2) document everything that isn't/won't be tied up, (3) get as far ahead on the projects I have open, including working overtime for my last few days/weeks here." These are all things that nice people worry about, but a complete waste of time in my experience. If you were having personal issues at home and needed 10 days off with pay on top of your vacation, would this employer do that? If the answer is no, then I would forget all that altruistic BS. Companies are bought and sold and restructured and acquired and leveraged all the time, and what you think is important and vital is often tossed in the trash as soon as you're out the door. I would keep it professional and give the proper amount of notice, but do what is best for YOU and not worry too much about what impact it is having on them. If they didn't want to worry about you leaving, you would be making more money in a better environment.

"needed 10 days off with pay on top of your vacation, would this employer do that?"

That is an interesting question. Maybe. With the old guy in charge (bosses bosses boss), there would be a good chance of it. With the new guy... maybe. There would be hoops to jump through, but ultimately I think that yes I would be able to wrangle that.

What you said about "what you think is important is tossed in the trash" is what really should happen, but isn't. The program that I'm managing should be absorbed into the parent company's program, which is different but similar.

Operate as normal. If you get an offer you like, agree to a date with the new employer at least two weeks out, and alert existing employer at the two week mark. During your exit interview, say stuff about "better fit", "more opportunity" etc, say nothing negative about where you are now, nor compare one place to another. Your goal is to say as little as possible.

RevRico wrote: Hire me for a few days at the current place. Seriously, I've had close to 20 jobs across multiple industries since I turned 14, the only 2 places still in business are the Wendy's by my house and the Japanese restaurant that's being used as a tax shelter. Everywhere else has either outsourced to cheaper wages, gone bankrupt at a corporate level, or just disappeared all together. So just hire me, something will come down from on high and close the place, and you won't have to worry about anything.

If you could take down the new organization (global organization) that would be quite impressive. More impressive than taking down all of Wendy's.

I mushroomed my bosses glasses once.

That burned that bridge

Often management won't do anything about staffing until they reach a critical point.

That critical point could be your leaving.

That's how it worked at my last job, I left and I was replaced with 3 people, plus a number of off-shore workers that were already working with me before I left.

Bottom line, do your job, document the issues/challenges and make sure your management and co-workers are aware of these and agree. If you get an offer, give them two weeks and move on. At the end of the day you have to realize that corporations don't care about you, except what they are legally required to and how much productivity they can get out of you. So your job is to find the best spots for you and be the happiest you can be.

I'm leaving my current job this week.

I was hired by a customer, who also pulled a $280K contract from my current employer (intending to do it in-house once I get there).

Believe it or not, my current employer was still encouraging.

They are not stupid. They know they don't own you, and that you will leave if they can't give you what you need and someone else can.

I was actually very surprised- I expected a E36 M3 storm when I told my boss. He knows business, and knows that I can still be a good asset for him in the industry in my new position. The need to avoid burning bridges was on him, not me.

Who knows- next time I may be HIS boss!

Remember, as soon as you accept an offer, that is now your #1 priority. I always recommend giving plenty of notice (two weeks is sufficient, but you can offer more if it works out well for you and doesn't negatively impact your next gig). Be prepared to be walked out the door once you give notice, although this doesn't sound likely in your case.

The advice to say as little as possible is good advice. The best way to burn bridges is to tell everyone you hate them and the company, so avoid that at all costs. You will never look better by speaking negatively about the company/people on your way out.

tuna55 wrote: Operate as normal. If you get an offer you like, agree to a date with the new employer at least two weeks out, and alert existing employer at the two week mark. During your exit interview, say stuff about "better fit", "more opportunity" etc, say nothing negative about where you are now, nor compare one place to another. Your goal is to say as little as possible.

Tuna knows how to let her go! Do what he says. Up to the old team to sort out their new reality without you.

Stefan wrote: Often management won't do anything about staffing until they reach a critical point. That critical point could be your leaving. That's how it worked at my last job, I left and I was replaced with 3 people..

This is what happened with me too. They realized they had a shortage of people and needed to get some fresh faces in the door. The team went from 8 to 5 to 10. They realized that, like most of my industry, with people retiring left and right it would be better to be overstaffed and well trained than understaffed, under-trained and constantly overworked.

While it might be harder on your fellow current co-workers, chaos creates opportunity, and there might be opportunities to hire more people.

I once accepted an offer, put in my two weeks notice, then on my next to last day, the new place called and told me everything fell apart and they could not hire me for reasons out of their control. I cancelled the movers that were scheduled to come in two days, and the next morning went in and un-resigned. I wasn't sure what to expect, but my boss was happy to have me stay and sorry the new gig didn't work out. I ended up working there for another couple months then left for real, but departed on good terms.

It can be tricky leaving, but in my experience, good managers will just wish you well in whatever you are going to do next and that is that. I did have another job where I asked for a transfer to a new assignment and they told me they didn't have anything else for me. So, I found a new job and put in my notice. I actually gave them a months notice, because I didn't want to leave them in a lurch. At that point, they would call me and offer me all sorts of interesting things and pay raises if I stayed. I explained to them that they had their chance, it was too late. Still managed to leave that place with them telling me to let them know if I ever want to come back.

I don't have any experiences quitting gracefully... but I can say what not to do.

Don't use up a weeks accumulated vacation, then take another's accumulated week off sick, then not show up after you said you would 100% be back.

Don't enrage the owner with common sense about why he's bouncing pay checks ( like his gambling problem, drug problem, and that lady other than his wife he's seeing in secret)...until he fires you. When you can tell him about the new job you just got, that pays more.

Dont flip the power/breaker on your way out at peak hours after you get your raise put off and skipped twice from management s lazyness

Don't tell the new girl (still in highschool) that just got promoted to assistant manager that you will be right back and walk out during the rush. Especially when everyone else called off that day or already gave notice.

Offer two weeks but be prepared to leave the same day that you give notice. Don't say anything rude or even interesting. Have a resignation letter ready, signed, and photocopied for your records of when you are giving notice and when you intend to have your last day.

And just go. It's just a job anyway. Their issue to deal with if they can't staff right.

In my industry, As soon as you announce you are out the door basically. So it's always been pretty easy.

Do what you can, Be nice about it and set the date. When that date comes, leave your badge with your manager, take your stuff, and go. They should already have a pool of successors ID'ed for every role on their team if the job is not entry level. As long as your performance was good and you didn't leave like a prick, chances are you will never have a problem.

bmw88rider wrote: In my industry, As soon as you announce you are out the door basically. So it's always been pretty easy.

There is next to zero chance that this happens. Possible, but it hasn't happened with the 4 people who left prior to this (2 to the same company I'm interviewing with)--3 people senior to me, one peer/slightly below my level.

I've generally tried to give notice. I quit one place three times (chain restaurant in college and immediately after).

The first time was my final semester of my senior year - Grand Theft Auto, San Andreas came out. School, work, videogames: Pick two. I had a little money saved up, so I gave my notice. They laughed at me when I told them it was to play video games. Two months later I had beaten the game, so I came back. They told me I could start the next day.

I quit two months after that (one month after graduation) to go sell cars (mistake), and came back after that didn't pan out. As an aside, the car dealership told me I was the only person they had ever seen who put two weeks notice in and actually worked the whole time. I wound up quitting the restaurant for good a few months later when I got a career-track job.

It's nice to give notice, but don't kid yourself about your situation. Giving notice to your old employer serves to give an example to your new job that you are willing to play nice. Some industries care - some don't.

Stefan wrote: Often management won't do anything about staffing until they reach a critical point. That critical point could be your leaving. That's how it worked at my last job, I left and I was replaced with 3 people, plus a number of off-shore workers that were already working with me before I left. Bottom line, do your job, document the issues/challenges and make sure your management and co-workers are aware of these and agree. If you get an offer, give them two weeks and move on. At the end of the day you have to realize that corporations don't care about you, except what they are legally required to and how much productivity they can get out of you. So your job is to find the best spots for you and be the happiest you can be.

All of this. My previous employer hired 2 people to replace me, and one to fill in when I left. I gave 3 weeks because I could. I wasn't treated all that well, but I felt sorry for some of those I left. Others not so much.

But as everyone has said, IF you get an offer you want, get yourself a start date, give your notice and thank your current bosses for the opportunity they have provided and you wish them well.