Parenting for the troubled teen

Otto Maddox wrote:

Jay wrote: I'm so tired of "internet tough guys" & macho chest-thumpery. According to an article I saw he read his daughter's private facebook posting where she complained about having to do chores, because obviously no well-behaved and respectful teenager has ever complained about *that* before, and this is the result. Would any of you crack open your daughter's diary and go shooting up her stuff if you found a "my parents are so mean" rant? Seriously? I doubt it. This man is having a temper tantrum, nothing more, and for some bizarre reason he's gone off and decided to show it to the whole world in search of some sort of approval from faceless masses. Yep, real mature there. The only reason this made any news is because her rant is on Facebook and his tantrum is on Youtube. Nothing new under the sun here.

I agree completely.

I don't want to watch the video, but from what I've read, a hearty +1. I won't say my parents were the be all - end all model of how to raise kids, but I will say they were pretty hard to get an over-the-top knee jerk reaction from, which I think is a good thing.

Also strikes me that the girl was in fact doing all of her chores as asked. He was just pissed that she was complaining about having to do chores. Great. Let her complain. Not a parent, but it seems like the kid has a right to complain about having to obey the rules as long as they're obeying them.

Salanis wrote: Also strikes me that the girl was in fact doing all of her chores as asked. He was just pissed that she was complaining about having to do chores. Great. Let her complain. Not a parent, but it seems like the kid has a right to complain about having to obey the rules as long as they're obeying them.

His issue, as I see it, was not the lack of doing chores but the utter lack of disrespect shown for her parents and for the things she has been blessed with. The child is well on her way to becoming the same type of self centered, entitled brat that we all sit here and complain about day in and day out. Dad chose to course correct. Were his methods the most rational and thought out, no, but I'd rather he did something like this than unleash one more brat into the world.

I've been blessed that I've never had to so much as raise my voice to my daughter. But she is well aware that given the proper motivation I would not hesitate to act in exactly the same way.

Children generally all go through a phase where they act out and disrespect their parents, but to sit back and accept it as a "phase" does nothing to help them course correct. Better an overreaction than none at all.

I would love to have been a fly on the wall when Baby Girl came home. I'm sure it was epic.

In reply to JThw8:

Let's hope she is hot - because when daughters rebel against the iron-fisted macho daddy type - she gets a job that pays in crotch stinkin' one dollar bills.

Jay wrote: I'm so tired of "internet tough guys" & macho chest-thumpery. According to an article I saw he read his daughter's private facebook posting where she complained about having to do chores, because obviously no well-behaved and respectful teenager has ever complained about *that* before, and this is the result. Would any of you crack open your daughter's diary and go shooting up her stuff if you found a "my parents are so mean" rant? Is this really showing her a mature response to the situation? The only way you can teach maturity & respect is by example. This is not that.

How is he an internet tough guy and macho chest-thumpery? Because he used a gun on her laptop?

No, he didn't read a private posting, she blocked her parents from her facebook but forgot to block the dog(truth). The post showed up on the dogs wall(I swear) and he saw it there. It's not even that she complained, it's that she openly and to the world direspected the berkeley out of her parents and insulted the woman who(apparently) cleans for them to in exchange for services rendered or a debt or something.

He tried the mature route the first time she did it, he took her E36 M3 and grounded her for 3 months. Sometimes you need the shock and awe approach to get it through the thicker skulls.

Let me put it you like this, when I was 15, if my mother read something like that where I swore up a storm and insulted her and someone who comes over and cleans for her, after being warned what would happen, getting my laptop shot would be the least of my worries.

Giant Purple Snorklewacker wrote: In reply to JThw8: Let's hope she is hot - because when daughters rebel against the iron-fisted macho daddy type - she gets a job that pays in crotch stinkin' one dollar bills.

Really? Because my sister has her masters in psychology and counsels the children of military families? And at 5'3" 102lbs, blonde, and green eyes it's not like she didn't have options for the other route.

Dad ruled with an iron fist, if he owned guns I'm sure a few prized objects of her's would have been used for target practice. She rebelled good and hard. From the age of 14-17 she didn't have a door on her bedroom because she would lock my parents out. But he also loved her as a father should. Nothing says you cannot "rule with authority" and with love. And with the right balance you can raise a pretty good kid.

I don't know if anyone has bothered to read some of the follow on to the video but the daughter, once she calmed down, still loves her daddy, they sit on the sofa and read the internet responses together. They even gasp joke about it now.

I still think he should have donated the laptop to Operation Homelink.

Also, everybody knows you use frangible rounds on LCD screens.

no wonder kids (20-25 y/o) don't know how to work (or even show up for work) when they get in the real world

heck, my parents would have made ME damage the laptop in to oblivion.

JThw8 wrote:

Giant Purple Snorklewacker wrote: In reply to JThw8: Let's hope she is hot - because when daughters rebel against the iron-fisted macho daddy type - she gets a job that pays in crotch stinkin' one dollar bills.

(words from mr. very serious) They even *gasp* joke about it now.

But not you, eh?

Giant Purple Snorklewacker wrote:

JThw8 wrote:

Giant Purple Snorklewacker wrote: In reply to JThw8: Let's hope she is hot - because when daughters rebel against the iron-fisted macho daddy type - she gets a job that pays in crotch stinkin' one dollar bills.

(words from mr. very serious) They even *gasp* joke about it now.

But not you, eh?

Apologies, as usual it is hard to detect humor online. As you had come out against the father in your previous posts it seemed fair to think you were still speaking in that vein.

Let's all giggle about the sociopath dad.

JThw8 wrote: Apologies, as usual it is hard to detect humor online. As you had come out against the father in your previous posts it seemed fair to think you were still speaking in that vein.

Well, I do think he is a bit of a drama queen and going about it all wrong.

My own father would have calmly told me that I had best keep what goes on in the house to myself. He didn't repeat himself. The second time he needed to make the same point was guaranteed to result in an unpleasant physical event. No drama. No anger. No outrage. Not even a raised voice.

Frankly... it didn't stop me from doing whatever the hell I wanted anyway... it just made me really sneaky with an ass like shoe leather.

Otto Maddox wrote: Let's all giggle about the sociopath dad.

Waaaaay ahead of you.

Giant Purple Snorklewacker has: an ass like shoe leather

Things out of context are funny.

All the studies seem to indicate corporal punishment is not effective. The evangelicals think their god wants them to smack their kids. I don't have a really strong opinion. I know my dad spanked the hell out of me - didn't work. My mom beat me with whatever she had in her hand - cooking utensils, sowing utensils, gardening tools, etc. That didn't work either.

In any case, Mr. Rootin Tootin Yosemite Sam wanna be fails the parenting test.

I wish he'd have used a shotgun too. Maybe the little brat will learn that there are consequences in life. I know it took something sorta similar to get me to yank my head out of my ass at about the same age (short version: my dirt bike was taken away and sold). I suppose my dad wouldn't have been a hero for that one either, but drastic measures are sometimes necessary.

my parents used corporal punishment on me.. never to the point where I was even sore. It was done to "shock and awe" me into realizing what I had done wrong.

It worked for me... did not work for my sister.

However, at age 30, My sister finally got tested and came back positive for being bi-polar. in hindsight it was VERY obvious. She tested my parents to their wits end, and when they were in the midst of breaking up, pitted one against the other to get what she wanted.

Today, at age 33, the only job my sister ever held for longer than a couple of weeks.. was dancing on a pole.

mad_machine wrote: Today, at age 33, the only job my sister ever held for longer than a couple of weeks.. was dancing on a pole.

Pics or it didn't happen

MG Bryan wrote:

mad_machine wrote: Today, at age 33, the only job my sister ever held for longer than a couple of weeks.. was dancing on a pole.

Pics or it didn't happen

+1000

Grizz wrote: How is he an internet tough guy and macho chest-thumpery? Because he used a gun on her laptop?

Do I need to explain why someone who posted a video of himself using a gun to destroy an inanimate object to "teach someone a lesson" is an internet tough guy? Really?

I'm not taking the daughter's side here, she very well could be a spoiled brat with world's biggest entitlement complex. But which lesson has she learned from this? "Okay, that wasn't cool, I really need to work on a more respectful relationship with my parents & I berkeleyed up", or "holy E36 M3, I can egg dad into a towering rage and he'll post his irrational tantrums on youtube and he'll look worse than me"? I'm guessing it's the second one.

Charming family, I'm sure.

In reply to Jay:

Jay, if he is from Texas (I don't know he is or not) and he did not use a handgun to shoot something in a video that was going to be on Youtube, that would mean that he is a Communist Who Hates America And Wears Skinny Jeans. He'd have been KILLED, man. KILLED.

JThw8 wrote:

Salanis wrote: Also strikes me that the girl was in fact doing all of her chores as asked. He was just pissed that she was complaining about having to do chores. Great. Let her complain. Not a parent, but it seems like the kid has a right to complain about having to obey the rules as long as they're obeying them.

His issue, as I see it, was not the lack of doing chores but the utter lack of disrespect shown for her parents and for the things she has been blessed with. The child is well on her way to becoming the same type of self centered, entitled brat that we all sit here and complain about day in and day out. Dad chose to course correct. Were his methods the most rational and thought out, no, but I'd rather he did something like this than unleash one more brat into the world. I've been blessed that I've never had to so much as raise my voice to my daughter. But she is well aware that given the proper motivation I would not hesitate to act in exactly the same way. Children generally all go through a phase where they act out and disrespect their parents, but to sit back and accept it as a "phase" does nothing to help them course correct. Better an overreaction than none at all.

This.

In reply to Jay:

Apparently you do need to explain, because it doesn't strike me as much different than parking on a kids bike to get them to stop leaving it in the driveway.

The only reason you count him in internet tough guy camp is because he used a gun? Would have been better if he used a BFH or a torch? Maybe it would have gotten a better response here if he stuck it under the back tire of a race car and burnoutted it to death.