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John Brown
John Brown SuperDork
2/17/09 8:16 a.m.

So looking for good news today all I could find was bad. Is it that technology allows us to get all of the stories or are all people going nuts.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/02/16/buffalo.beheading/index.html?eref=rss_topstories

Man who wants to prove Muslim stereotypes are wrong beheads wife.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/02/17/washington.barracks.death/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

A pair of sixteen year old girls found unconscious or dead at a military barracks. Nothing good can come of this story.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/02/17/chimp.attack/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

Drunk monkey jumps chunky flunkie... news at eleven.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/asiapcf/02/17/china.mistress.contest/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

Even mistresses are getting laid off.

What is the world coming to?

Duke
Duke Dork
2/17/09 12:32 p.m.

How about this casual reference?

the story said: In 2005, a different chimp escaped from California's Animal Haven Ranch and chewed off a man's nose and genitals.
John Brown
John Brown SuperDork
2/17/09 12:49 p.m.
Tom Heath
Tom Heath Production Editor
2/17/09 1:14 p.m.
Duke wrote: How about this casual reference?
the story said: In 2005, a different chimp escaped from California's Animal Haven Ranch and chewed off a man's nose and genitals.

I don't know how common this sort of incident is, but I think I met the victim of this crime at the PRI show in 2007. His name is Harley Saint James, he was a oval track driver and collector of cool cars. He was also featured on the Barry Meguiar show. Here's the link. He still looked much like he does in this video...

http://www.carcrazycentral.com/TV-Show-Watch-Episodes.aspx?VideoID=316

Take away lesson- Don't berkeley with Chimps.

John Brown
John Brown SuperDork
2/17/09 1:15 p.m.

What was HSJs nose doing so close to his gennies that BoBo was able to chew both off?

John Brown
John Brown SuperDork
2/17/09 1:16 p.m.

OFF!

Tom Heath
Tom Heath Production Editor
2/17/09 1:28 p.m.

It was like a gang of chimps, they were beating/chewing on him for a long time before he was rescued. It sounded very unpleasant.

Watch the video, I can't effectively retell the story. He's got my vote for worst day evarrr.

poopshovel
poopshovel SuperDork
2/17/09 1:55 p.m.

Well hey thanks. Now I've got something new to have horrible, vivid nightmares about. Awesome.

HiTempguy
HiTempguy Reader
2/17/09 2:37 p.m.
So looking for good news today all I could find was bad. Is it that technology allows us to get all of the stories or are all people going nuts.

You also missed the story about how GM and Chrysler are bringing their restructuring plans out today.

Should be good for some of those "crying laughing" moments.

captainzib
captainzib Reader
2/17/09 2:48 p.m.

Hey John Brown, have you seen the movie Idiocracy? I'm a firm believer that this movie is more than simple satire, but an actual prophecy.

confuZion3
confuZion3 Dork
2/17/09 3:40 p.m.

I'm not gonna lie: I just voted capt. Zib up on that comment.

captainzib
captainzib Reader
2/17/09 4:11 p.m.

LOL, thanks man. I have a tendency to rant about this topic with my friends a lot. It's something that really gets to me, but there is no acceptable solution without violating some basic human rights so I end up just getting frustrated.

Snowdoggie
Snowdoggie Reader
2/17/09 4:24 p.m.

So where can I get one of these trained attack chimps? This would be better than a watch dog, or hiring Chuck Norris to protect your house. They probably work for banannas.

captainzib
captainzib Reader
2/17/09 4:25 p.m.

Uh, if you haven't seen the Trunk Monkey ads, you're in for a treat. Search google video or youtube for trunk monkey. Now.

JG Pasterjak
JG Pasterjak Production/Art Director
2/17/09 4:44 p.m.

God, Tom. I've known you all this time and you never thought to mention that you met the bakersfield chimp guy? You're cooler to me now.

He even inspired a euphamism.

jg

Osterizer
Osterizer HalfDork
2/17/09 4:58 p.m.
captainzib wrote: Hey John Brown, have you seen the movie Idiocracy? I'm a firm believer that this movie is more than simple satire, but an actual prophecy.

The working title for that movie was superior to the actual title:

Uuhmerica.

fornetti14
fornetti14 Reader
2/17/09 6:21 p.m.

www.positiveeconomicnews.com

I thought this thread needed some balance.

friedgreencorrado
friedgreencorrado Reader
2/17/09 8:05 p.m.

To zib:

Agreed. I got into television as a career because I was going to stop "Network" from coming true. You all can see I've got a huge dose of fail coming my way..

Will
Will Reader
2/17/09 8:31 p.m.

Idiocracy is brilliant. I actually found and bought a case of Brawndo a while back and if that's what plants crave I'm berkeleying glad I'm not a plant. In the movie it's supposed to be like Gatorade, but the real Brawndo is more like an energy drink and is the exact color of Hi-C Ecto Cooler (or antifreeze, take your pick).

GameboyRMH
GameboyRMH SuperDork
2/18/09 6:56 a.m.
Tom Heath wrote:
Duke wrote: How about this casual reference?
the story said: In 2005, a different chimp escaped from California's Animal Haven Ranch and chewed off a man's nose and genitals.
I don't know how common this sort of incident is, but I think I met the victim of this crime at the PRI show in 2007. His name is Harley Saint James, he was a oval track driver and collector of cool cars. He was also featured on the Barry Meguiar show. Here's the link. He still looked much like he does in this video... http://www.carcrazycentral.com/TV-Show-Watch-Episodes.aspx?VideoID=316 Take away lesson- Don't berkeley with Chimps.

The more I learn about chimps the more I see them as being one of the most dangerous creatures in existence.

Jake
Jake HalfDork
2/18/09 8:55 a.m.

The average IQ is 100. Remember that it's just a number and doesn't mean anything real, but also remember that for every decently-intelligent 120-130 IQ person out there, there's a corresponding person on the other side with an IQ of 70-80.

Fun to think on, sometimes- on the average, people really are pretty stupid.

friedgreencorrado
friedgreencorrado Reader
2/18/09 11:45 p.m.
Will wrote: Idiocracy is brilliant. I actually found and bought a case of Brawndo a while back and if that's what plants crave I'm berkeleying glad I'm not a plant. In the movie it's supposed to be like Gatorade, but the real Brawndo is more like an energy drink and is the exact color of Hi-C Ecto Cooler (or antifreeze, take your pick).

I didn't even know Brawndo was a real drink. I thought it was a made-up name because they couldn't get the rights to the name "Gatorade". I'll have to go find some just for laughs...

carguy123
carguy123 Dork
2/19/09 12:12 a.m.
fornetti14 wrote: www.positiveeconomicnews.com I thought this thread needed some balance.

Thanx for the link.

I'm going to use it tomorrow in office.

Will
Will Reader
2/19/09 6:44 a.m.
friedgreencorrado wrote:
Will wrote: Idiocracy is brilliant. I actually found and bought a case of Brawndo a while back and if that's what plants crave I'm berkeleying glad I'm not a plant. In the movie it's supposed to be like Gatorade, but the real Brawndo is more like an energy drink and is the exact color of Hi-C Ecto Cooler (or antifreeze, take your pick).
I didn't even know Brawndo was a real drink. I thought it was a made-up name because they couldn't get the rights to the name "Gatorade". I'll have to go find some just for laughs...

At the time the movie was made it was fake, but some company licensed the name after the movie came out.

Wally
Wally SuperDork
4/25/11 4:48 a.m.

Do you refurbish canoes? The whale skin on mine is starting to dry out

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