m4ff3w
UberDork
2/16/21 10:33 a.m.
Winnie, Lexi, and Bella
I met a great girl a year ago, my age, no kids, 2 tiny little dogs who are like her kids. She moved in. Bella loves the smallest dog, Lexie, but really does not like Winnie.
Bella lets Lexie smack her in the face, gives her food from her bowl, etc. They are friends.
Winnie, on the other hand, can look at Bella wrong and Bella will lunge at her. She's injured Winnie, now for the 3rd time. They haven't been grave injuries, but enough to take Winnie to the Vet once and maybe again today if she doesn't start feeling better soon. Winnie is terrified of Bella and has been on Prozac since the first incident, because she was so stressed out that she was defacating blood for days. After those have happened, we've kept the separated for a week or so and slowly start reintroducing them. Winnie won't cross Bella's path or anything.
Bella always liked other dogs, until my ex-wife brought home a stray dog that attacked her 6 or 7 years ago. Since then, she's not been the greatest fan of other dogs, but hasn't attacked any.
So now I have to find a home for her. She showed up on my doorstep almost 9 years ago when I lived out in the country. No tags, no chip, no responses that fit her on Craigslist or with any of the vets. She's been good pup, it's been great to see her in the 6" of snow Austin got this week, she's just going outside and laying down in it. She likes it a lot, but hard to take joy in it knowing I've got to find a new home for her.
I'm hoping my son and his mom can take them, but the management office for the apartment they live in is closed because of the weather.
This sucks.
Break up with her.
Seriously. She has two dogs you have one dog, there's a problem with the dynamic between your dog and one of her dogs not both of them. The definition of compromise would be to get rid of her dog that your dog has an issue with. Then you each get to keep one dog. If that wasn't the proposed solution she will never be willing to compromise in a way to make the relationship work moving forward. Run, run far away.
Snowdoggie is in DFW...
He just went through an incredibly difficult loss and I don't know that he would be ready yet. But otherwise the shoe and situation fits.
If I didn't have seven animals in the house, I would meet you half way in a second.
This sucks. I wish you the best of luck. It would be great if he could stay in your family.
There is no human other than my own son that I would choose over my dog.
Tough decision, for sure. But I'd either break up with her, have her move out, or have her get rid of her "dogs".
m4ff3w
UberDork
2/16/21 11:15 a.m.
She didn't ask me to find a new home for Bella. She suggested getting her own place again. I told her I'd find a home for Bella and she said she didn't want me to resent her for it.
If my kid and ex-wife can take her, that's a perfect situation. They both miss her, my daughter to lives with me could still see her regularly, and I'd see her when I pick up my daughter or meet my son at their place.
My ex-wife struggles financially, so I told her I'd pay the pet deposit and we'd give her "puppy support"
It would be pretty ideal.
In reply to m4ff3w :
I'm glad that she realizes that there will be resentment, because even if you don't realize it, there will be. There will be times that you come home and you don't have that 85 lb of fluff attack you and lick you and you will feel glum about it. And subvertly you will think, that vajajay.
That in addition to the compromise aspect is totally why I said break up the relationship is doomed, Don't cry because it's over smile because it happened.
Sure seems like the aggressive dog is the one that should be sent packing.
Our youngest keeps being a jerk, so he's getting the old snip in a few weeks. If that doesn't help, he will be gone.
z31maniac said:
Sure seems like the aggressive dog is the one that should be sent packing.
Our youngest keeps being a jerk, so he's getting the old snip in a few weeks. If that doesn't help, he will be gone.
If I'm reading it correctly, Bella is his dog and is the aggressor.
I might suggest counseling. For the dogs. More accurately, take them both to a "Doggy Day Care" kind of place, or check around for someone who works with socializing dogs. There should be a few options in your area. At least solicit their opinion.
My wife keeps getting new puppy's and I always wonder if my dog is going to hurt one. The rule in our house is my dog storm stays, any other dog will be rehoused . I'm not giving up my dog. She's the best rescue I've ever gotten and she just turned 4.
Driven5
UltraDork
2/16/21 8:31 p.m.
1988RedT2 said:
z31maniac said:
Sure seems like the aggressive dog is the one that should be sent packing.
Our youngest keeps being a jerk, so he's getting the old snip in a few weeks. If that doesn't help, he will be gone.
If I'm reading it correctly, Bella is his dog and is the aggressor.
Doesn't matter if the aggressive dog is his or hers. Jumping to getting rid of the non-aggressive dog (or its owner) is not actually a 'compromise'.
It sounds like there are good potential alternatives that remove the aggressive dog for it's current trigger(s) while still keeping it nearby and in the family. That sounds like a real compromise that trying to look at the big picture from all sides. In any situation though, it's the OP's responsibility to stop the aggression from said dog towards any animals or people it may encounter. It obviously has some unresolved issues that need to be addressed, rather than swept under the rug.
My main concern, regardless of who the aggressive dog lives with, would be the possibility of the triggers continuing to expand and the dog eventually (suddenly and unexpectedly) becoming aggressive toward people without the right training... Especially if it's the kids that unintentionally initiates a new trigger.
m4ff3w
UberDork
2/17/21 9:19 a.m.
My ex-wife said she won't take Bella.
She's staying with my friend/coworker right now. He said she was really chill and calm last night/this morning.
