Really? Things kids do.

My son is 4, and despite being a total outdoor kid, is afraid of bugs. He reacts just like mom to spiders, flying pests and creepy crawlies.

The other night my wife is giving him a bath and notices a very small scab on his leg. He says "no mom, that's a bug". She laughs and says that if it were a bug on him it would have washed away. He says "no, it has legs and stuff." Yep, it was a really small tick.

She asks when he noticed it, and he said earlier in the day at daycare. (they play outside on wood chips) Really? A little spider makes you scream but something buried in your leg all day doesn't even rate a mention?

If it was a "really small tick" it may have been a deer tick, and deer ticks can carry Lyme disease. Keep an eye on the bite location for a while.

Quite possibly my son's first interaction with a buzzing fly at the window. I killed it, but he was still keeping an eye on that corner of the window frame where the buzzing came from... he's 18 months old.

Was video calling mine the other night. He goes off to take a leak. Comes back,mommy touches his hair.

"How is your hair wet? Are you hot?"

"I pointed my penis up"

So yeah, his hair was wet because he managed to pee on himself.

my kid would eat dry leaves pretty much anytime we went outside last fall. but she says she doesnt do that anymore since she's 4 now... i guess it was a 3 year old thing...

My son is normally the pickiest eater out there. But for about a month he developed a taste for earplugs. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any healthy recipes that had the same texture and taste.

In reply to MadScientistMatt:

They substitute quinoa for earplugs, it's the same stuff.

"Why are you wet?" My most asked question.

My son doesn't close his mouth unless there is something in (nuk, bottle, sippy cup) or he's sleeping. So that means he drools constantly and is always wearing a bib. So I know why he's always wet. Apparently, my mother tells me the apple fell close to the tree on that one and I don't drool much theses days, so here's hoping!

Last night we had "daddy why is my hedgehog wet?"

I don't know, what did you do to it?

"I was blowing bubbles on it"

Well there you go!

Where are your shoes?
I don't know....
Did you wear them outside?
Yes....
But you just have socks on now?
Yes......
So where are your shoes?
I don't know......

Good news is most kids outgrow this stuff. I'm proof.

The little girl that my wife cares for (nearly full-time) is mildly autistic, and a runner. She has the speed of The Flash and the endurance of Forrest Gump. I haven't done so much running since High School. Our son didn't prepare us for this, his thing was hide and seek, he'll never go pro.

In reply to mazdeuce:

I'm not sure I recall you posting a picture of your kids wearing shoes...

My youngest, (12) came up to me a couple of weeks ago. "Dad, there is a spot on my leg that's bothering me. It hurts pretty bad."

Me, "Holy smokes, I bet it is. How long has it been bothering you?"

Him, "Oh, I don't know, a couple of weeks."

The spot was a pus filled infected spot as big as a dime, that ended up in the doctors office for topical and oral antibiotics. We had a long talk about discussing these things, before they became a problem.

In reply to RedGT:

I was afraid that was going to lead into having "the talk"

pinchvalve wrote: "Why are you wet?" My most asked question.

I learned the reason the hard way. Lots of splashing coming from the bathroom. Then realizing, the only available water is in the toilet.

My daughter looked at me, smiled, straightened out her legs, then filled her diaper.. then she smiled again and fell asleep..

She'll be 2 weeks old tonight..

mazdeuce wrote: Where are your shoes? I don't know.... Did you wear them outside? Yes.... But you just have socks on now? Yes...... So where are your shoes? I don't know......

Holy crud, I have that conversation so many times every day!

What is it with kids and their freaking shoes!?

Me: "Oldest Hugarling, do you need to use the bathroom before we go outside?"

O.H. "No"

Me: "Ok buddy, if you need to go when we're outside just let me know and we'll find a 'pee tree' ok?"

O.H. "ok"

(two steps outside and he pees his pants)

Me: "Buddy, you peed your pants."

O.H. (looking scared) "yeah"

Me: "it's ok buddy we just gotta get you changed. But listen kiddo, if you have to go pee when I ask next time the answer is 'yes' ok?"

O.H. "ok"

The next day:

Me: "Oldest Hugarling, do you need to use the bathroom before we go outside?"

O.H. "No"

Me: "Ok buddy, if you need to go when we're outside just let me know and we'll find a 'pee tree' ok?"

O.H. "ok"

(two steps outside....

In reply to Hungary Bill:

At that age you don't ask them, you tell them.

Im lucky if mine doesnt pee off the balcony. Just peeing his pants would be a welcome change. Xome to think of it toilet at all would be nice. Hes started this new thing where he will just whip it out and pee on the floor because he doesnt want to stop watching whatever.

In reply to mndsm:

I found that restricting "what ever" will solve that problem in a hurry.

Almost worse than what they do is what comes out of their mouths. I tell my wife that kids are little tape recorders that are subject to just go off randomly.

My guy from Enterprise picked me up the other day and I had to take my 7 year old and 8 year old with me. We didn't make it 200 yards before my 8 year old goes from complete silence to "we just got an RV and daddy caught it on fire already".

I suppose of all the things to get replayed at that moment I probably lucked out, but still...