Really? Things kids do.

Getting the kid ready for a bath many moons ago:

Ian, you don't have underwear on.

Yeah, I'm giving them a rest.

Oh bathroom time, you amuse us so.

"Why are you standing on the counter smearing toothpaste across the 5' mirror?" (to my 4 year old)

"I dunno". I dunno was so common for many years.

A year later he's out practicing riding his bike without training wheels (first day without training wheels) when he crashes into his little sister. "Dude, what happened you rode right into her??!" "I was riding with my eyes closed and she got in my way."

Kids. They outgrow it eventually but man will they test you along the way.

"This is not my potty dance! THIS is my potty dance!"

I'll admit, there is a difference. But I think the former means "kinda gotta go" as opposed to "really gotta go." At any rate she never has an accident (3), just an urgent last minute dash to the toilet so I will consider myself lucky compared to some of these posts.

MadScientistMatt wrote: My son is normally the pickiest eater out there. But for about a month he developed a taste for earplugs. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any healthy recipes that had the same texture and taste.

Look for recipes with tteok in it - Korean rice cakes. Perfect firm earplug consistency. Tastes like rice that has been smushed into a tube or disc. Good stuff.

dean1484 wrote: In reply to mndsm: I found that restricting "what ever" will solve that problem in a hurry.

Yeah, tell his mother that.

An old coworker of my wife's has two little boys. She has also been a surrogate mother 2 or 3 times now. During one of the 'extra' pregnancies, a substitute teacher, who was unknowing of the situation, asked one of the little boys about being excited for another sibling. His response was something along the lines of "Nah, they're twins; we're selling them."

My nephews and niece's mom let them watch "Spaceballs." She explained that there were some words that we shouldn't use from the movie, but went no further. The conversation the next day was epic.

Oldest "POW! POW! KEEP FIRING, ASSHOLE !"

Mom "Remember how I told you there were words we shouldn't use? That's a word we shouldn't use."

Oldest "OK, Mom."

2nd oldest "Firing shiny happy person!"

Mom "Vinny, remember, that's a word we don't use."

Neice "PRINCESS ASSHOLE !"

Many LOLzers.

We had daughter-in-law and three granddaughters over for dinner a couple nights ago. We served sliced turkey sandwiches, which is one of the few meals they don't usually fuss over. However, one of the 4 year old twins dismantled her sandwich, took a slice of the Boar's Head smoked turkey and placed it on her face like a mask. Being the favored grandfather that I am, I didn't want to reprimand her or say anything negative. So I took a slice of turkey, cut holes for my eyes, and placed it on my face. But Annie and daughter-in-law did not hesitate to reprimanded me for wasting food. I thought I was creating a memory.

In reply to Gary:

Hannibal?

If you ate the remainder, its not wasting anything.

Appleseed wrote: My nephews and niece's mom let them watch "Spaceballs." She explained that there were some words that we shouldn't use from the movie, but went no further. The conversation the next day was epic. Oldest "POW! POW! KEEP FIRING, ASSHOLE !" Mom "Remember how I told you there were words we shouldn't use? That's a word we shouldn't use." Oldest "OK, Mom." 2nd oldest "Firing shiny happy person!" Mom "Vinny, remember, that's a word we don't use." Neice "PRINCESS ASSHOLE !" Many LOLzers.

My three year old may or may not have walked into the living room the other day with his legs spread wide apart, taking about one step per second, arms out in front of him, making breathing noises.

Mrs. Hungary and I: (Stare in confusion from the couch across the room)

Hungarling, after about his fifth step: (makes motion of flipping up a visor on a helmet) "I CAN'T BREATHE IN THIS THING!!!!"

I wont even pretend I didn't pee just a little.

As I do not have kids (to my knowledge) I can only relate a story my mom tells about me.

My first word was E36 M3.

Not only did I say it as my first word, but I said it completely within context. Picture a cute little kid in his highchair eating from a bowl of Cheerios. Slowly the bowl made it's way to the edge of the highchair's "table" and then flipped over the edge to spill it's contents all over the floor. Pretty basic stuff, non?

Now, picture said kid leaning forward as far as he can to look over the edge of the highchair at the mess he just made.. then looking up at his mom.. and then came the magic word. "E36 M3"

That's when my mom realized she said her favourite word just a little too much

I just uttered the phrase "im glad you have a positive relationship with your penis, but that's not something you should share".

Im not sure i need context.

Appleseed wrote: My nephews and niece's mom let them watch "Spaceballs." She explained that there were some words that we shouldn't use from the movie, but went no further. The conversation the next day was epic. Oldest "POW! POW! KEEP FIRING, ASSHOLE !" Mom "Remember how I told you there were words we shouldn't use? That's a word we shouldn't use." Oldest "OK, Mom." 2nd oldest "Firing shiny happy person!" Mom "Vinny, remember, that's a word we don't use." Neice "PRINCESS ASSHOLE !" Many LOLzers.

Yup, letting my boys watch Spaceballs is one of my "prouder" parenting achievements.

"How many shiny happy people are on this ship" and "why didn't someone tell me my ass was so big" we're their favorites.

In reply to "Space Balls" content: Every last Mel Brooks movie ever made can easily become a parenting stumbling-block or milestone. Be very careful with Blazing Saddles and Men in Tights. They will make Space Balls a walk in the park

HappyAndy wrote: In reply to "Space Balls" content: Every last Mel Brooks movie ever made can easily become a parenting stumbling-block or milestone. Be very careful with Blazing Saddles and Men in Tights. They will make Space Balls a walk in the park

Excuse me while I whip this out...

The sheriff is getting nearer?

In reply to Appleseed:

That reminds me of the bit from Christmas Vacation:

Ruby Sue: Rocky bit my thumb. Him's nervous because Christmas is almost here.

Clark: Nervous or excited?

Ruby Sue: E36 M3ting bricks.

Clark: You shouldn't use that word.

Ruby Sue: Sorry. E36 M3ting rocks.

Appleseed wrote: The sheriff is getting nearer?

Just to let you in on a little family secret, my grandmother was Dutch...

What in the wide wide world o' sports is a-goin' on here?

Gary wrote: What in the wide wide world o' sports is a-goin' on here?

How about some more beans, Mr. Taggart?

no kids here.... "borrowed" my nephews on a few weekends... that was enough to know I would have killed my kids if I had any........

Froggy! Where's froggy?!

Just imagine your secretary, Mr. Governor....

Maybe I'm lucky we're still in the eating everything we can get our hands on phase. Although she sure does love to play in the dogs water bowl.

When I was about 3, we had plumbers come to tie our septic line to city sewage, whatever that process entails. Apparently at preschool the next week, I taught all of my classmates fun new words that I learned from the ditch diggers. I also always had a problem of trying to leave with whoever came around with machines. I actually rode on someones backhoe for 6 or 7 miles, climbed up on the seat and was playing with the levers when they left a job site I was at with my dad, they didn't notice I was on the trailer until they stopped for gas. Whoops.