Remembering 9/11

22 years have now passed.  I don't know how I feel.  I am still as sad and angry as I was during the years shortly after 911.  As time passed I thought It would temper my anger but instead, it has done nothing but strengthen my resolve.  I want to feel better.  I want the hurt to go away.  I want it to be like it was before 9/11.  No matter what is done we can never get that back and that is why I get so angry on this date.  

In memory of those who are no longer here and those who have suffered so much.

One of my heroes was brought to light that day:

“Hello … Operator … listen to me … I can’t speak very loud. This is an emergency. I’m a passenger on a United flight to San Francisco. We have a situation here… 

Our plane has been hijacked … can you understand me?”

On September 11, 2001, Todd Beamer – a father of two young boys and a little girl on the way – was on United Flight 93, a non-stop flight from Newark, NJ to San Francisco, CA.

As an account manager for the Oracle Corporation, it was just another business trip that turned out to be anything but. 

That day, Flight 93 had been hijacked as part of the terrorist attacks on New York and Washington, D.C.

While in the air, Todd managed to grab an air phone and made contact with Lisa Jefferson, a telephone supervisor with GTE (now Verizon Communications). 

“There was a gentleman on the line, very soft spoken, calm,” Lisa said. 

The call continued…

Lisa: Can you tell me how many hijackers are on the plane?

Todd: There are three that we know of.

Lisa: Now Todd, can you try to tell me exactly what happened?

Todd: Two of the hijackers were sitting in first class near the cockpit. A third one was sitting near the back of the coach section. The two up front got into the cockpit somehow … there was shouting. The third hijacker said he had a bomb. It looks like a bomb. He’s got it tied to his waist with a red belt of some kind.

And then, moments later…

Lisa: Todd….are you ok? Tell me what’s happening!

Todd: Hello … We’re going down … I think we’re going to crash … Wait – wait a minute. No, we’re leveling off … we’re ok. I think we may be turning around … That’s it – we changed directions. Do you hear me … we’re flying east again.

What Todd and the other passengers didn’t know was that the plane was indeed heading east … towards the nation’s capital!

Todd: (breathing a little heavier) The plane seems to be changing directions just a little. It’s getting pretty rough up here. The plane is flying real erratic … We’re not going to make it out of here. Listen to me … I want you to hear this … I have talked with the others … we have decided we would not be pawns in these hijackers’ suicidal plot.

Lisa: Todd, what are you going to do?

Todd: We’ll get them … and we’ll take them out. Lisa, will you do one last thing for me?

Lisa: Yes … What is it?

Todd: Would you pray with me?

After they had prayed together, Lisa remembers the final words of the conversation:

“He turned from me to speak to someone else. And he said, ‘Are you ready?’ I couldn’t hear the response. Then he said: 

‘Okay, let’s roll.’ 

In reply to preach :

Powerful stuff. . .  

In reply to preach :

Indeed a true Hero.

I went to visit Shankville PA to see the sight and have a pic of his name on the memorial

I left a note "Nemo me impune lacessit" on the cork board there.

It was a very very powerful place to visit.

I remember there being an article someplace (maybe here on GRM) that we lost several prominent SCCA members on flight 93 if I remember correctly.

In reply to dean1484 :

Yes there were. I took my parents to the first memorial in 2003 and there were plaques placed there for those SCCA members. I have film prints somewhere, I'll have to dig out and scan.

Leaving through Chicago Midway today the overhead speaker in the terminal's came on and mentioned 9/11 and asked for a moment of silence - everyone except for 2 goofy chicks got silent for 2-3 minutes.  

It was amazing the quietness given the place was packed this morning. 

There was a really interesting documentary that popped up on Hulu yesterday. Detailing everything Bush/White House/Cheney was going through on 9/11 trying to figure out what the heck was happening and how to try and deal with it. 

In reply to z31maniac :

The best documentary was called 9/11 and was a couple of French brothers starting a documentary about a nub in the NYFD and his first day, look it up, I'll not post it here.

The kid's first call was to sniff a gas leak at an intersection, the Chief went for the documentary. When they got out the first plane rips overhead and hits.

The firstest responders and sadly death 0001 of the day due to a heart attack imposed on the preacher of that fire department station. Stress of the situation and too many stairs...died trying to save people.

Sad, horrific, but a must see in my opinion.

Our country has moved on and forgotten. That's all I have to say about that.

Today, however, is the 21st birthday of one of my best friends first kiddo. In the darkest of times, there is always light.

This day is a very mixed bag for me, especially in light of the state of our union today. The feelings I remember from that day are not easy to describe. I have nieces and nephews that are about the same age as I was then, and explaining that day to them is not as easy as it should be.

I remember I was on a University retreat in my 3rd year. We were intentionally off grid with no TV and cell phones were all turned off and put away. Our retreat leader came to us several hours after everything had happened and gave us the news - it was grim and difficult to process. The silence and shock in the crowd of several hundred was deafening.

When I was finally able to call home, my mother picked up. Among other things, I asked her if the world would be different when I got home, and she said that she thought it would be. She was right.

We must never relent, and never surrender to those who have evil in their hearts. God bless America.

preach said:

Today, however, is the 21st birthday of one of my best friends first kiddo. In the darkest of times, there is always light.

My daughter turns 18 today so I know exactly what you mean.

My city has a nice memorial next to one of the fire stations:

I went and thought for awhile awaiting the annual Tunnel to Towers run yesterday.

A lot of the participants, like my son and friends (not pictured) have no memory of the day; they were 1-2 at the time.

Still, at least here, over 5000 people participated to keep the memory alive.

I didnt lose anybody, thankfully. My uncle watched it live from LGA, then walked out of the city and somehow got hold of my aunt to pick him up somewhere, getting home at midnight or so.

I was in a meeting, and remember my director foolishly trying to keep talking while we put the TV on, the news of DC and flight 93 came in  and a co-worker from NYC tried in vain to get hold hold of friends and family. 

I was supposed to go do some PR type stuff, but thought that was stupid, had no idea what the afternoon might hold, and ended up just going home and sitting on the deck with my wife watching my son play.

Beautiful, quiet day, no contrails, just the occasional sound of an F16 flying by high overhead.

It started like any other day at GRM with my drive to work. I remembering Stern mentioning something about an accident involving the Twin Towers. As soon as they had an inkling as to what was up, the entire crew went into news-gathering mode: 100% serious and professional. 

I’ll be honest, I don’t like thinking/talking about the day and don’t watch the footage. It hits too close to home. 

I was in London and heard it on the BBC , I knew where a electronics store was nearby and went there to see it on TV when the 2nd plane hit , I could not believe it ......

I was booked to fly home the next morning , all flights were grounded until  Saturday morning , and 1000s were staying at Heathrow airport  not having any idea when they could fly home.

I just remember wondering if there were more hijackings in the works since it was still early morning on the USA West Coast,   I am glad all flights were grounded quickly .

My Buddy was in the air flying London to Los Angeles and they landed in Canada  and stayed there a few days ,

Thank You Canada for taking in all those flyers :)   Thank you to all the other countries that took care of flyers stuck at the airports , 

and thanks NYFD and all the other heroes that ran towards the danger to help .....

I was living in Charleston SC and talking on the phone with a client in NYC. She told me her son was calling and she said she would have  to call me back.

I turned on Howard Stern and continued working, and heard them parse the local news reports and then I watched live (along with them) on a TV in the office as the second plane hit and then the towers fell. 

The client never called me back that day. Soon I learned her son's fiancé worked for Cantor Fitzgerald and she perished that morning. 

The Jets are playing on MNF right now. When they did the anthem, at the end they cut to a live shot of the Statue of Liberty with Manhattan in the background with the two beams of light going up. Got me pretty choked up. 

My memories of that day are centered around this forum. David came into the office and said a plane had hit the WTC and Stern was covering it; we tuned in to listen, then spent the morning posting and sharing with fellow GRMers as news and developments trickled in. It was a day that single words don't capture--terrible, awful, sad--but among the many very complicated feelings I still carry is a sense of gratitude for the community that made me feel less alone with all of that.

I've searched many times in the intervening years for any fragment of that day's posts, but they're gone like I imagined them. I know I didn't, though, and have always been grateful to this forum and its early members for being there on 9/11.

Margie

Yeah... that was a day. A tuesday if I recall correctly.

I was 17 years old. High school senior. I had recently moved out into my first apartment, and just purchased my first car the previous weekend. I couldn't dtive it yet as my stepfather wouldn't let me get my license or learners permit. but my 18th birthday was right around the corner. I was about to be a real adult, they couldn't stop me anymore. A world of freedom and possibilities was just a week or so away.

I got an email from the government. I had to register for the selective service. The draft. lol. Like that's ever going to happen. Something monumental would have to occur in roughly 90 minutes for the draft to ever come into play.

I went into my first class. A drawing class. I had front loaded all of my core classes so my senior year was almost entirely electives. BS classes. Fun stuff. An announcement came over the intercom. The school was going into lockdown.

Columbine was only a few years prior and we hadn't achieved our present state of bi-monthly school massacres yet, so we still thought the whole thing was stupid as we shut off the lights, locked the doors and slid under our desks. I was flirting with a pretty goth girl when the instructor yelled at me, telling me this was serious, and that there had been a number of attacks around the country. She turned on the TV. The second tower had just been struck.

Lockdown was lifted and we wandered to our next classes, word had gotten around and nobody really wanted to do anything. My next class was TV production. I had wanted to get into broadcasting after graduating. Specifically radio, I figured this would help on a collage application. Our instructor Mrs Stempler was doing her best to stay professional and do her job. The big screen in the studio was on and she was trying her damndest to talk about live news broadcasts as people jumped from the towers. The bodies fell, the towers followed. The lesson slowly ground to a halt.

I don't remember eating lunch... I just wandered straight to my next class. Creative writing. Many of my classmates had also wandered there unsure of what else to do. I collapsed into the arms of the same pretty little goth and just wept. It was all too much to pretend to be strong. Boys don't cry and all that. I wasn't a tough guy even if I thought I was. I knew that everything was different now. I thought about Kennedy. Everybody remembers where they were. I knew this was my generation's Kennedy. I thought about the draft I had signed up for this morning (I know now that amounted to nothing but then...) There would be retaliation. I looked around the classroom at the other boys my age. There would be a war, and we would be the ones fighting it.

I thought about my father, my real father. He was born in '59. When he was 16 years old he dropped out of school and became a carney.  He explained it to me like this: Why would I go to school and learn things when I'm just going to go die in veitnam when I turn 18? One of the most heartbreaking things I've ever heard and in that moment I understood it.

In the times that followed I grew depressed. My grades suffered. I dropped out of school, got my GED and  joined the Army. If I joined before the draft I'd at least get to pick my MOS.

My father didn't go to 'nam. The war ended right around his 18th birthday. Because the world has a sense of humour, and he didn't have a diploma, the army was the only option for him.

It was the same with me. sort of. A genetic defect combined with my love of long distance running had already taken a toll on my knees. My plan to join the army ended at Meps. 

Depression continued. The Shrub gave Eisenhower's final warning the finger and invaded the wrong country. A lot of my friends died. I fell into the 911 truther trap, which took a long time to climb out of.

It's been 22 years, I'm staring down the barrel of 40 now. Never did get into broadcasting. My legs barely work, I don't bother to hide my emotions anymore and I still can't forget that Tuesday in September.

In reply to AClockworkGarage :

Maybe you righting all this down is the start of something good. Maybe you will in 20 years remember this day as the start of something new and good for you.  
 

This may sound odd but it sounds to me as you might have a variant of PTSD. 
 

It is never to late to get help for this kind of thing. Getting evaluated won't hurt you and may help you. PTSD is a nasty nasty thing. There is no badge presented to those that try and internalize it.  Just making peace with it is a huge first step to the rest of your life. 
 

I remember starting down 40. That was 20 years ago.  That was a lifetime and a generation ago. At 40 you are not old. You are just getting to the age where you start figuring E36 M3 out with your life.  
 

Instead of looking at where you are as a bad situation look at it as the prep for the rest of your life and that you are now finally experienced enough to make better decisions.  What you are just starting to get is wisdom. It is a extremely powerful tool. 

Oh definitely. 100%.

My entire generation has PTSD. 9/11 isn't the cause of it but it really marks the turning point. The rise of the internet is probably a big one. We were raised for one world, then expected to live in a completely different one. An anolog childhood and a digital adulthood. We missed the Berk around century and were thrown right into the Find out century. We catch E36 M3 constantly for getting participation trophies from the people who gave them to us. We grew up in the 80's and 90's. Every TV show we watched was really just a commercial. We were sold a promise that was never going to happen and now we're told it's because of all that avocado toast.

I've never had avocado toast, but weirdly I still don't own a home.

The previous generation destroyed the economy and the environment and we didn't fix it. The only real advantage the kids these days have is they were never told things were going to be ok. 

So yeah. Probably PTSD.

I won't watch any of the stuff on 9/11. I don't want to see it again. It's all stored clearly in my brain if I ever want to.

We had a tv at the office someone must have turned on when the first impact happened. I remember wondering what dumbass couldn't see a giant building in front of his dopey little Cessna. We really didn't have any details on what actually happened yet. And then I watched live tv as a jetliner flew right into the second tower. That's when I knew it wasn't a mistake.

It was so quiet that afternoon with nothing in the skies, and it continued for however many days afterward. 

Being a PA resident, I've been to Shanksville a few times. After the memorial was completed the wife and I went again. Very different than the little mobile office they set up not long after. The people of Shanksville adopted the site and were very protective of it. Fortunately, the eventual government memorial is actually pretty good. Partway through viewing the display cases I had to find a quiet spot. Too many tears to hide. I have not gone back. The memorial for me is a little too good. I do want to go to the one in NY sometime but...that will be difficult.

My parents' generation used to say they remember exactly where they were when Kennedy was shot, and the generation before that when they heard Pearl Harbor had been attacked. This is my generation's moment. I remember that morning with crystal clear clarity.

I may not participate outwardly, but I certainly will never forget.

Todd Beamer earned his place in Valhalla... 

On that day I was driving to a meeting at a client's office.  I walked into the reception area and the big screen had the news on the screen.  The showed the towers burning and kept replaying the strikes.    So one guy starts joking around, saying he never liked America Airlines and they deserve it, blah, blah, blah.

I told him that was he was saying was inappropriate and what's happening is in no way amusing.  He could tell by my body language that his best bet was to STFU.    I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face so I walked away.

9/11 felt surreal as if it was a movie that you were in. I wasn't alive for Pearl Harbor, but somewhat imagine the parallel feeling of those events. 

I remember 9/11 very well.

I don't obsess over it.