Some dick in a Jaguar stole our frickin' paper this AM

This morning while Chuck is walking the dogs he gets a text from our neighbor that a man in a Jaguar stopped in our driveway, picked up our newspaper, and drove off.

We have a very modest home (the oldest one on this street) on a road that has been built up with several million dollar homes since we moved here in '98. We have a 6 year old Mazda 3 and a completely smashed up 20 year old Dodge Spirit in the yard. Why can't the shiny happy person in the Jaguar go buy his own *^$damned paper?

I am incensed.

He/she owns a Jaguar. Clearly they can't afford a paper. The choice they face every month is either paying to keep the British (Ford?) car on the road for one more month or getting paper. The sad thing is, Jag ownership has led them to a life of crime.

DrBoost wrote: He/she owns a Jaguar. Clearly they can't afford a paper. The choice they face every month is either paying to keep the British (Ford?) car on the road for one more month or getting paper. The sad thing is, Jag ownership has led them to a life of crime.

I'm sure I have seen truer statements at some time, but I'm hard pressed to come up with one right now.

Your paper was being used to traffic drugs... i

Maybe it was a stolen jag too. He was just making a quick check to see if he made the paper yet.

But he's got a Jaggggg.

And I am sorry but my experience is that Jags really aren't any more unreliable then BMWs.

There is a bus stop across the street from our firehouse and we lose about a third of our papers to people waiting for the bus.

In reply to Woody:

What kind of a shiny happy person steals the paper from a firehouse?

In reply to ShadowSix: The kind of people who ride the bus. Duh.

93EXCivic wrote: But he's got a Jaggggg. And I am sorry but my experience is that Jags really aren't any more unreliable then BMWs.

I think thats true. Not likely in the way you intend, though.

My BMW has been very reliable. Every time I enter the garage, it's always been resting on the jackstands I've placed under it. Every. Time. You can't beat that kind of reliability.

Anyway, my dad told me a story about a rich real estate guy who would steal the waitresses' tip money to pay for his coffee. The prick may even have owned a Jag.

Do you live inside the beltline? That's where all the politicians live

My wife has tried to get me to steal someones Sunday paper for the coupons and I tell her she's crazy and I will disown her if I find out she did it.

SyntheticBlinkerFluid wrote: My wife has tried to get me to steal someones Sunday paper for the coupons and I tell her she's crazy and I will disown her if I find out she did it.

Do you guys own a Jag?

If they did that to me, I'd start tailing Jags incognito on Sunday morning... this is prolly not their first foray into paper thievery.

I know papers are cheap... it's the principle

DrBoost wrote: He/she owns a Jaguar. Clearly they can't afford a paper.

A friend of mine used to service a particular 1985 Jag for the second owner. The first owner was Harrison Ford. The car was a tragic lemon and included all the receipts from new. A bulging 3" binder. Paul the mechanic once added them all up and concluded that Mr. Ford sold it because even he could not afford to keep it on the road.

Oddly enough that very car just sold on the dealer lot I test drove an R53 a few months back. I think they got all of $2200 out of it even with documented Harrison Ford provenance.

getcher JAGOFF my driveway!

ECM, how many driveways on your street of million dollar homes? Perhaps you could save up a bunch of those awesome plastic bags that the paper is delivered in, print up some flyers announcing the theft, wrap them around an old paper, and put them at the end of every high-dollar driveway on your street next sunday? that would berkeleying RULE!

Isn't dick in a Jaguar a little redundant?

Unbelievable! I wonder if he was the same arsehole who stole my recycle box.

Grizz wrote: Isn't dick in a Jaguar a little redundant?

but LS engine in Jag FTW

I think I need to look through my back issues of MAKE magazine for a tutorial on how to make radio controlled dye packs, and rig them up for proximity. If they travel a certain distance from my yard they explode dye all over the place.

If it was my neighbor, there's a good chance several roofing tacks would be found in their tires. Karma's a bitch, especially if you help her out a bit.

Then again, I'm mean.

There's something about stealing a newspaper that's just wrong, Jag or no Jag. I doubt Al Capone or Bernie Madoff would have stooped that low.

A dick would let you know that he took your paper. A Bob Costas would take it and run off.

Brett_Murphy wrote: Do you live inside the beltline? That's where all the politicians live

Actually, no. I live 10 miles south of 440. I couldn't afford any of the properties inside the beltline that I would actually want to live on.