The 944 Story

Blatantly and unapologetically stolen from Jalopnik. It cracked me up, so I thought I would share...

Of course, you all know the 944 story -

1. VW commissions Porsche to design a sportster for Audi.
2. Audi says but I wanted something I could take to the snow!
3. VW tells Porsche that Veruca Salt has changed her mind, and to start pulling the Audi badges off the car.
4. Porsche finally gets a good look at the 914 in daylight and figures that fist full of fug could stand a replacement, so the 924 is born.
5. The 924 is seen by Porsche purists as an abomination before God and too pretty to be a Porsche.
6. People who pronounce it ‘porsh' start buying them, Steve McQueen weeps in his 911S.
7. Porsche says it's time the 924 grow a pair, and creates the 944.
8. Profit!

In reply to Maroon92:

Except as usual Jalopnik is wrong. Even Ray Charles can see that this:

Looks vastly better than this:

Same story in Martini livery:

So ugly.

I dig how you found the nicest 914 on the face of the planet and put it up against the ugliest 924s ever made.

...and mess up the forum page.

Naw, Maroon messed it up. Trying to post that was a PITB.

Javelin wrote:

SKEEEEEET!

Flag On The Play!!!

Let's go the the field to see the ruling....

...yes, as expected it is: Illegal use of Box Flares.

The point still stands:

No, the point doesn't stand. The plain jane 914s up there are quite homely. The plain jane 924 is just... plain. Now, a worked-over 914 is cool, but it has to overcome its homeliness with extra awesome.

even though the first set of pics where uh "cherry picked" to prove a point, the dude is still right. The 924s were fugly.

That being said I think its odd that somebody who thinks AMC's are purdy would have such a good eye for porsches

You know how sometimes you go to see a friends new kid, and the kid is stone ugly, but everybody says how beautiful the hideous little freak is? Parents look through blinders......You 914 lovers can probably not see how this anecdote applies to this thread.

924s no prize either.

I don't own a 914, and yeah my eyesight for cars is a little off, but the 924 makes the Gremlin look pretty. Now the 944 is gorgeous, don't get me wrong, but the 924 is like the Gilbert Godfried of sports cars.

The 914 on the other hand is classically good-looking. Narrow body, flares, small wheels, big wheels, whatever, they pretty much all look great.

I work with 914's all day long, and I HATE them.

However, the 24 has a soft spot for me, especially the turbo.

And.....Fixed!

I think they still make the 924, I swear I saw a new one on the road the other day...

In reply to aircooled:

Ahahahahahaaaaa!!!!

Maroon92 wrote: I work with 914's all day long, and I HATE them. However, the 24 has a soft spot for me, especially the turbo.

I don't care that you hate them or that they're slow stock or any of that. On pure looks the 924 is the Gary Busey to the 914's Carrie Fisher.

Yes

No

Wow. I just think even a plain 924 is a great looking car. I like 914s too, but I'll take the 924.

Maroon92 wrote: I work with 914's all day long, and I HATE them. However, the 24 has a soft spot for me, especially the turbo.

Wait a second, isn't a 944 just a 924 with flares, wouldn't that inf act make these hawt cars 944s painted in 924 livery?

Javelin wrote:

Maroon92 wrote: I work with 914's all day long, and I HATE them. However, the 24 has a soft spot for me, especially the turbo.

I don't care that you hate them or that they're slow stock or any of that. On pure looks the 924 is the Gary Busey to the 914's John Belushi.

Fixed.

At least if you see a 924, you can tell if it is moving forward, or reversing.

Also, the Martini special edition is one of the coolest looking cars P has ever produced.

Javelin wrote:

Maroon92 wrote: I work with 914's all day long, and I HATE them. However, the 24 has a soft spot for me, especially the turbo.

I don't care that you hate them or that they're slow stock or any of that. On pure looks the 924 is the Gary Busey to the 914's Carrie Fisher.

Gary Busey: crazy or bat e36 m3 crazy?

Carrie Fisher: slave girl or Klondike Bar?

We must have clarification.

The 924 looks crazy boring on film, but in person looks very clean and pure. There are a few around town, and they always catch my eye when they pass.

914's always lok better to me in pictures. Then I see one in the metal and I think, "Oh yeah, sort of eh".

Come on, tell me that isn't sexy?! Plain jane 924s are very...lacking though. I will admit.

My g/f didn't think it was as funny as I did... oh well... she's not much a Porsche fan...

I don't know if I could chose between the 914 or the 944... but I'd definitely take either over a 924.