Nearly three and half years ago, my life changed overnight. My longterm GF and mother to my two kids packed up and left while I was at work, taking our kids with her.
(I won't get in to that side of things, too messy.)
Since that day, we have been clawing our way through a nasty custody battle with seemingly endless delays. I've spent enough to build my dream car twice over (build, not buy), I've carried the weight of parental alienation, watched my 4-5 year old son get turned against me, battled crippling depression and anxiety. This has harmed me enough to drive me to sobriety, something I never thought possible. I've also become a bit of a recluse.
BUT! This is a post about hope! I truly believe we are nearing the end and a beneficial outcome! I have taken this on with the mentality of "the only way to get through hell is to keep going". It may take 6 more months, maybe a other year, but I can finally see the pieces starting to come together. My kids are resilient and with some therapy should be capable of leaving this ordeal behind.
The weight on my shoulders doesn't feel quite so heavy anymore.
Keep fighting the good fight. Sometimes there's nothing for it but to struggle through, but it won't last forever. Brighter days ahead, man, guaranteed.
When life gives you lemons, you paint that E36 M3 gold.
Sorry to hear it's been a very rough time. As many of us here can attest to, divorce/loss of relationship is a bitch, especially when kids are involved. You will get through this and come out the other side a better person. As you said, kids are resilient and learn to adapt. I hope you and your ex can come to an agreement and find peace. At least for me, that's one of the biggest things that has helped ease things. Thankfully my ex and I didn't go through the custody battle that you describe, but we obviously got divorced for a reason(s). It has taken a few years, however she and I are finally finding peace with each other and it's making things so much easier for everyone. I know you will get there too.
Duke
MegaDork
6/16/22 8:54 a.m.
Sobriety is a great long-game move and I'm really proud of you for getting there. It will be a huge benefit in the custody proceedings, too. Congratulations on that.
Kids are fragile, but stronger than we realize, and resilient as you say. They are also not stupid. Be the adult and they will see the difference between the real you and what she's told them about you, and between you and her.
It's tough on everybody, especially when one party is determined to make it tough. You've had a very long row to hoe, but it sounds like you're pressing on regardless. Keep it up and it will pay off for you and your kids in the end.
[As a total coincidence, Cracker's I See The Light came on while I was reading your post - hopefully that's a good omen.]
Turning to sobriety sounds like you're handling this right.
Keep going. Look forward to a good relationship with your kids.
BTDT brother. It's been 12 years since the divorce but my life is far better without the ex in it than it ever was with her. The kids saw who cared for them and who used them for personal gain. It's a long painful path to the other side though, keep going life is better on the other side.
Well done. Great to hear of personal triumph in adversity, especially in these times.
We're all rooting for continued success for you.
Congrats man. To see the light at the end of the tunnel makes the slog easier to bear.
Although, you're out in the middle of nowhere. No one will notice one extra hole in the property...
Appleseed said:
When life gives you lemons, you paint that E36 M3 gold.
And then throw those golden lemons at a politician.
I'lll just add one thing to what everyone else said. My daughter is 30 now. She hates her mother. We're closer than we've ever been. I was actually the one who left, once asked her if she was still angry about it.
"Are you kidding? I had to live with her longer than you did..after about a year and a half, I knew *exactly* why you left."
