This was worse than I thought it would be

I left home as a 45 year old and returned as a 60 year old. 

I just went to pick up my 15 year old at school and thought it would be cool to let him drive all the way back home. It was rough. 

He goes to school 25 miles from home, of which 15 are on the highway. Got his permit in May and he has been driving the last 6 or so miles home once we get off the highway. He does quite well, probably thanks to all the years of SIM driving games he plays. 

Today I decided to spice it up and let him drive the whole way. I had a plan that we agreed on:

- drive the speed limit (65)
- stay on the slow lane
- if you see a pothole or debris, just run it over and don't worry about the car. Don't swerve out of the way

Should be no problem, except south Florida, so no 65 mph, I told him we were going to change plans and to forget about the speed limit and do 75 mph.

The staying on the slow lane went out the window quick right after that, everyone wants to merge if you leave an inch. I changed the plan, once again, and had him switch to the second slowest lane (5 total).

This created a third issue, now we had 18 wheelers on our left 12" from the car's mirror. Not good for my blood pressure. So I said, either speed up and get ahead or slow down and stay behind ... don't sit next to them. 

I don't think I had ever lost so much body weight to sweat in my life. And I taught how to drive to all three of my wife's younger siblings, in manual cars. 

I am not sure how to go fwd from here, its too taxing lol. Either have my wife take over the highway part, just let him on his own and wish him luck or move to a less densely populated area. 

Its hard.  But if you can explain the logic behind some of the instructions, it seems to get learned better.

OBTW, some of us are not meant to be passengers.   My wife has been driving over 50 years without an accident... I'm still nervous in the right seat.

I was training my daughter in the e82 before it's demise and honestly I feel way for comfortable with her in her moms Town and Country haha. She loves the 328ic and it's been pretty easy but our highways are 70 and traffic moves at 75 so she hasn't gotten the full experience yet.

Florida super slabs when they get 4 to 5 lanes wide usually cruise about 85.   

When I first started we actually had an interstate nearby (my grandkids thought we just had cobblestone).  I truly believe growing up on those road made us better drivers.  But, it is like jumping in the deep end.

Ha, gravel roads make the best drivers... I got my permit and driving privileges living in southern Iowa. Car control looks a lot different.

I'd say that you gave him real world experience under your watchful eye and guidance. 

I'd get an extra wide rear-view mirror, and then swing out the pax side mirror for your son to "watch"... then talk your way through the drive home on the highway  Like, every thought you have, has to come out of your mouth:

"that car is coming up fast, i'm looking at the merge, I'm going to speed up into this hole, now backing off because I think that car 5 cars ahead might make a low-probability move into the lane ahead... oh, and there's someone flying up in the far right lane and i can see they're going to cut across three lanes of traffic to setup for the next exit"

stream of consciousness slam poetry thing.

You're used doing things while driving internally... like (hopefully) looking 1/4 to 1/3 of a mile ahead and behind... but now it's in your best interest (imho) to explain that internal process out-loud, while giving them a view of what those words/processes are too in order to connect the words with what they're seeing.

next step, have them do what you did today and "make the plan" and "navigate" you through the highway portion making the decisions (you've always got the ability to 'veto by being the driver').  The highway is a firehose of information... from the speed of your own car, to the speed/accels of the other cars, and the amount of cars around you.  You need to find a way to bring their "sight" (ingestion, comprehension, decision making, re-evaluation) up-to-speed in more manageable chunks.

or, take them to an autocross or track... where they'll similarly get overloaded, but in a more controlled environment?

Little know law of physics: When passengering in a car with a learning driver, the PS seat travels at 10x the speed of the drivers seat. At least that is what Eisenstein told me when he was teaching Lieserl to drive. Explains the hair.

Had the 105# daughter drive back from the '19 Indy 500 partly up I65 and across 80/94, AKA the Borman Expressway thru Gary, Indiana in my Silverado on her permit.  (Pic from earlier in the year)

Big boy puckered up.

A year and a half ago,  I put twins through drivers training and the required 50 hours of supervised driving.    You got this.

It will be better for both of you the next time. Florida highways are definitely Pro level but like any sport the game slows down for you after a while.

I took my daughter out on the highway when I was sure she could handle it. We took a different route home from school with her driving and the road just happened to end as a choice of Northbound or Southbound I-275. She didn't have a chance to get nervous before hand and did very well. It took her a few miles to get up to speed but traffic was light enough that time of day. Her only comment was, "I'm screaming inside." Now she is more comfortable than my wife on the highway.

I was terrible teaching my 3 kids to drive, I was terribly hard on them. I do remember my old 9th grade driving teacher putting a tennis ball in a cup saucer on the dash and you got docked if it flew out.

When I was teaching my daughters to drive, I'd joke that my time as a flight instructor taught me to stay calm while my student was trying to kill me. Like VolvoHeretic, I went pretty hard on them to make sure they were ready to safely drive solo. I don't know how many times I heard, "Daaaaad, I'm not your flight student!" Younger Daughter was surprisingly aware of her surroundings and drove like she was a lot more experienced than she was. She picked up driving a manual in one session. Ten years later, I'm perfectly comfortable riding with her. Older Daughter is now 30 and still scares the E36 M3 out of me. She's very smart but it felt like half of what I was trying to teach her just never sank in. Fortunately, she's paying her own insurance. 

I took my 15 and 14 year old out to a deserted school parking lot the other weekend to teach them the basics.  15 year old did pretty well, my 14 year old was scary, especially when he starts off using both feet to drive.  A few instances of misplaced feet and my rule is now "only use your right foot for driving" (automatic).  I'm generally pretty critical, but after my wife did the same with my 15 year old, I think she was even more nervous with my son than I was.  Looks like I'll be handling the teaching to drive duties.