Tough Times Ahead for the Next Few Weeks...

I think he gives great glove.  OP, keep your head up.  We're all rooting for you.

In reply to secretariata :

Secretariata,

My wife is a widow, so while I know that I cannot imagine what you are going through, I do have some insight. If you never have, check out soaringspirits.org and Souring Spirits on the book of faces. 

There is a really big group of awesome people that all personally know exactly what you are going through. They help each other. When you talk to other widows/widowers, they will be able to understand things better than you can put into words. They can help you be readier for some of the potholes.

We will be praying for you regardless, but check them out. Look at some of the videos from Camp Widiw if you want to get a feel for the people.

Matthew

Can't always come up with great words of wisdom and support, but the intent is there. 

We are here for you.

Prayers, smoke, thoughts of healing and remembrance Steve.

I can't image what you're going through but I'm very free with hugs so you got one coming from me.

In reply to secretariata :

Just checking in, Steve,

How are you holding up?

Matthew

In reply to matthewmcl :

Thanks for checking on me! Hanging in there & trying to take it one day at a time. Work days are generally easier as there is the distraction of having work stuff to do. Occasional down side of work is that the engineering community here is rather small so a number of my coworkers either knew my wife or even worked directly with her at some point. This sometimes leads to difficult conversations if I'm already having a challenging day.

I expect the toughest days are still to come as her Bday, our anniversary, & the day she passed are still to come. Those all happen within a 2.5 week block.

Be strong, but don't be ashamed or afraid of being weak.  Sending love.

In reply to secretariata :

This is passed to me from my wife, who is a widow, from a smaller community where her husband was assistant chief at the local volunteer fire dept.

"The days leading up can be harder than the days themselves. The anticipation can be worse. Live through your feelings; it's okay to feel what you feel. It's okay if all you do in a day is get up and make it to the couch."

We will be praying for you. Reach out if you need someone to listen and if you need people who already know what you are going through.

Matthew

Did not see this until now. Here if you need a ear or what ever. All I can offer is no matter how things seem just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Also you are not alone. You must feel like it at times but we are here for you. 

So today was one of the really sucky ones. She would have had a birthday today.

I thought things were going OK. Had job stuff to do. Stayed pretty focused until the E36 M3 show started around 1:30. The next hour was nonstop calls & texts from people trying to make themselves either feel better or feel important. I'm glad you remember it's her birthday  I'm really glad you loved her & she meant a lot to you. Do you really think your whining about how much you miss her is going to make me feel better? Today of all days you gotta do this?

Bailed on work at 3. Was going to settle in & rock my gourd with bourbon & loud music. Then the people that actually care & matter to me called. Kept me entertained & brightened my day. Spent 5 hours on the phone. Now I finally got to eat some dinner & should be in bed, except I'm mostly sober & wired from just eating dinner...FML.

Thanks for listening...er...reading...or something. Y'all are the best!

I thought I would update this thread and thank everyone for their support, words of comfort and wisdom. 

The compressed sucky period that covered both of our birthdays, our wedding anniversary, and the first anniversary of my wife's passing has concluded.  This short 7 week period coincides almost exactly with the start of her health issues getting out of hand requiring hospitalization last year that ended with her demise.  I have survived and hopefully this will be less painful and challenging with each passing year.  In some ways it is difficult to believe that a year has already passed and in others it is surprising that it has only been a year.  I sincerely hope none of you ever have this experience and once again, a sincere "thank you" for your collective shoulders to lean on during this time.

Steve

Glad your doing better. One day at a time.