What did you wish you knew in high school?

I'm in high school and many of you are older than I.  What do you wish you knew in high school rather than learned later?

Anything and everything

In all seriousness that's a very difficult question to answer.  I have an 18 year old son who just graduated high school last week, as well as twins who are about to be sophomores in high school.  It's truly one of those "you don't know what you don't know" things.  I can tell my kids anything I want, but they may not really have the perspective, experience and wisdom to fully understand it.  They're very smart kids, but they're just teenagers.  They haven't experienced life like us older folks have.  

If you want me to pick one thing, I would say that I wish I didn't "fight the system" unnecessarily.  I'm not saying you should just be a sheep that fully follows the flock.  However, I was quite rebellious and wanted to do everything the hard way.  Well, when you do things the hard way, guess what...they're hard.  I wish I had understood the ramifications downstream.

Interesting, and might I say wise, question (props to you).  Some quick thoughts:

- Things aren't quite as dramatic / urgent as you might think they are

- The world is not likely on the edge of doomsday (yes, this has been a consistent theme for a very long time)

- Saving a little now (also not spending a lot now), can mean a lot in the future

- Buy into the housing market as soon as you can, in whatever way you can (I know I know, it's hell out there now).

- Politicians, pretty much all of them, have and always will be, self-interested dolts.  Do not expect much of anything out of them except the status quo.  E.g. sometimes (many times really) it's just a good thing to not pay attention to politics, at all.

- I wish I would have asked this question

That thing that you're worried about ultimately doesn't matter. You're not going to do something grand that changes the world. That's totally fine.

The only way it matters is if you decide it matters to you.

There's always another chance.

If someone is abusive, manipulative, self destructive, or doesn't care, you're not going to save them. Take care of yourself and your own physical, mental, and emotional health.

You can definitely still "fight the system". But it's much easier to fight from the inside.

I wish I had realized that social skills are just as important in adulthood as book smarts, and that every aspect of life benefits from additional compassion and kindness. 

- If someone says they are hurt by something, actually listen to them and consider your role in that.

- If you and your friends regularly roast each other and have a laugh at each others' expense, make sure you also let them know that their friendship means a lot to you.

- Talking E36 M3 will always leave a bad taste in your mouth. If people are making fun of someone who's not around, you can always decline to participate.

Having imparted that social advice, I will say book smarts are still important. For the love of god, make sure you leave high school knowing how to read graphs and charts and being able to tell when someone is manipulating or misinterpreting data /information to fit a viewpoint. Learn how to tell credible sources from people who are just very confidently pulling ideas out of their asses, and be ok with the fact that the best answer to a large problem is often not a simple one. Be willing to admit when you don't know something, and learn how to turn around and educate yourself on it later.

Oh, and don't ever be afraid to ask for help if you need it.

In reply to Nicole Suddard :

Well here's the thing I have no friends and nobody talks to me

How much she loved me and how much I loved her.  Life would be very different.   

For more generic advice that might be of use to you, I would like to have known to take more chances.  Most chances you take are not going to change much, but the ones that do... man.

School related, I wish I had known better how to actually study.  Was in all sorts of gifted programs when I was in high school and under.  Skipped through them.  College came and I damn near failed out a couple times before I fixed myself and my study habits.

Lastly, I wish I had known that people older than I, or more experienced (for you, OP, that includes most of us in this thread) have no clue what I need.  I can point back to maybe a dozen examples of letting myself be swayed to do something I didn't want to do for various reasons.  All of them were good reasons, I wish I had taken none of that advice.

Listen to any advice that might set you down a path that will take at least a year to walk that path.  Think on the advice, think about how it applies to you, discard it if it doesn't fit with what you want to do with your life.

In reply to SpeedwayFan :

Take up a hobby where you interact with people who support each other. One where people interact face to face.

Learn to skateboard. Play D&D. Study martial arts. Join a book club. Learn to write or draw and join a workshop group. Maybe look into joining the military - but know that the recruiter is NOT your friend.

If you want to meet girls (or boys), learn to social dance (swing, salsa, etc.), practice on your own, get good.

SpeedwayFan said:

In reply to Nicole Suddard :

Well here's the thing I have no friends and nobody talks to me

Highschool is the perfect place to change that. Hopefully, there are a plethora of clubs/sports/classes that the school supports where you can interact with people you don't know. Build the social skills of being able to talk to people. It's crazy hard because you always think they're judging you but they're probably not. Probably.

In reply to Beer Baron :

I don't have the time for hobbies. My parents are making me get a job this summer and they make me come with them everywhere they go on the weekends.

In reply to iansane :

My school has a few clubs and there all for things that I don't care about

In reply to SpeedwayFan :

I may not be the best person to help with that, since most of my friends are people I've known since elementary school. Making friends as an adult/near-adult is hard, and it doesn't happen quickly (I'm just now starting to open up to people I've been taking dance classes with for years). Being willing to put yourself out there and talk to people is the hardest step, but after a while you're likely to find that people have a lot more common interests than you'd think, and even if you don't have a ton in common with people you can still have fun spending time with them. Try new things, meet other people who enjoy those things, and gradually introduce each other to the things you already liked. It's all about turning acquaintances into loose friendships and turning loose friendships into closer bonds.

In reply to Nicole Suddard :

Well it's impossible to meet people when you have no free time at school and I'm always busy at home and all the other kids on my street are little kids.

Talking on a telephone, or to a stranger, won't kill you.  In fact, people are much more likely to be polite and interested if they can hear your voice.

In reply to Streetwiseguy :

I don't have a phone

I found my senior year in high school that making eye contact, while excruciating, makes people recognize you. A big smile either makes them want to know you, or scares the crap out of them! Hahaha. 
 

What's your talent? 

Awesome to see you over here dude! -Don't be so hard on yourself.  
-Enjoy your time wherever you are. 
-Don't be in too big a hurry to grow up. 
-Enjoy your ability to be ideological, but allow yourself space to evolve as you grow up.  
- Air National Guard, Coast Guard, Air Force, Marines, Navy, Army.  In that order. college or tech school paid for while you grow up and see a little of the world.  
-Treat each interaction with other people with love and respect and it will be returned to you tenfold.  I could go on for hours but I assume you are already bored. I'm 46. Retired Coast Guard pilot with a pension I've been drawing since I was 42 and will draw until I die. Second career is United Airlines pilot. Life is pretty good. 

In reply to Teh E36 M3 :

apparently every time I speak it's annoying someone so I guess that qualifies as a talent

You are a contrarian I'd bet. We had a guy in high school like that. Aaron. Whip smart and just wanted a smile, but everything he said was opposite of orthodoxy. You don't have to fight everything even if you don't agree.
 

How often do you compliment people? Maybe make an effort to say a nice thing to one person a day. It's really hard and people will take it the wrong way- but someone's day will be better for it and yours will too. 

In reply to Teh E36 M3 :

I'd rather not try to compliment someone because there gonna find something offensive then tell everyone I did something offensive.

In reply to SpeedwayFan :

Trust me, I was in a very similar place in high school. I'm not saying it's easy by any means. I tended to self-isolate or make myself unapproachable without even realizing it because I didn't think I had time for friends or I thought the people around me were shallow or uninteresting or wouldn't like me. I have since learned that I was wrong in those assumptions. People contain multitudes.

Chat with the people seated around you in class if you can. Be cordial. And you mentioned you're getting a job this summer - even if your coworkers aren't your age, they can be people to talk to, too. They're a community you're entering into.

In reply to Nicole Suddard :

Well there's never a time to talk at school and plus this is the last day of school before exams so then I won't be able to talk at all to anyone. I tried socializing on a forum called opposite-lock but they banned me for being "unexcellent" and I've sent emails apologizing and asking to be unbanned but they never respond.

SpeedwayFan said:

In reply to iansane :

My school has a few clubs and there all for things that I don't care about

What do you care about? What do you want to do? What interests you?

Not to pry too personally, but are you graduating senior or still going to be in high school next year? Are you in the U.S. or another country?