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OHSCrifle
OHSCrifle PowerDork
3/13/25 8:09 a.m.

My all time favorite:

NTS means "not too sure".

 

Heard just now:

You may think you are sharp as a laser... but I'm not your cat. 

914Driver
914Driver MegaDork
3/13/25 8:27 a.m.

"You get paid the same for marching as you do for fighting".

02Pilot
02Pilot PowerDork
3/13/25 8:54 a.m.

"Try not to live up to all my expectations."

 

NermalSnert (Forum Supporter)
NermalSnert (Forum Supporter) Dork
3/13/25 8:57 a.m.

"Every 3 Minutes is a brand new day for you, isn't it?"

NickD
NickD MegaDork
3/13/25 8:57 a.m.

"If he had an intelligent thought in his head, it died of loneliness."

NickD
NickD MegaDork
3/13/25 8:58 a.m.

If you were trying to figure something out at work and started with "I've been thinking...", my one coworker would always hit you with particularly brutal "Don't think, you weaken the nation."

Colin Wood
Colin Wood Associate Editor
3/13/25 9:23 a.m.

A few that come to mind:

"I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong"

"It's like wiping your butt with a hula hoop–the crap keeps coming around"

"He/she has two brain cells left, and they're both fighting for third place" (usually in reference to one of my cats)

AngryCorvair (Forum Supporter)
AngryCorvair (Forum Supporter) MegaDork
3/13/25 9:33 a.m.

"i never got the cherry, all i ever got was the box the cherry came in."

Woody (Forum Supportum)
Woody (Forum Supportum) MegaDork
3/13/25 9:40 a.m.

When you need someone to solve a complex problem, he can lift heavy things.  

dculberson
dculberson MegaDork
3/13/25 9:53 a.m.
02Pilot said:

"Try not to live up to all my expectations."

 

Reminds me of "My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle."

From Firefly.

eastpark
eastpark HalfDork
3/13/25 10:13 a.m.

I always liked saying "Good For You" when the need arose. 
GFY for short. 

ShawnG
ShawnG MegaDork
3/13/25 10:18 a.m.

See my tag line.

 

Also: Compromise means nobody gets what they want.

DjGreggieP
DjGreggieP Dork
3/13/25 10:34 a.m.

'You're a cheesecake'

 

Gets you out of nearly any discussion and now they want cheesecake instead of continuing said discussion

Marjorie Suddard
Marjorie Suddard General Manager
3/13/25 10:37 a.m.

They couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the directions were printed on the heel.

 

RevRico
RevRico MegaDork
3/13/25 10:42 a.m.

See my signature. 

The only thing [I/he/she/they] is berkeleying is stupid. 

HotNotch
HotNotch Reader
3/13/25 10:44 a.m.

All fact, no tact

myf16n
myf16n Reader
3/13/25 10:45 a.m.

Someone blew out his pilot light.

PERFORMER, porn performer. They clearly aren't the star.

Sorry I'm late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

You might not be the dumbest person in the world, but you better hope that he doesn't die.

Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No wait. Not me, you.

ShawnG
ShawnG MegaDork
3/13/25 10:48 a.m.

From Jim Rome:

You don't "get in" to porn. You "end up" in porn.

Toyman!
Toyman! MegaDork
3/13/25 10:52 a.m.

The lights are on but nobody's home. 

That boy's not the sharpest tool in the shed. 

Duplicate: You aren't the dumbest person in the world but you better hope he doesn't die. 

 

Recon1342
Recon1342 UltraDork
3/13/25 10:53 a.m.

So many...

From my mom- "Can't never did anything."

From my dad (a plumber)- "E36 M3 flows downhill" and "Pipe dope (sealant) is cheap, leaks are expensive"

From the USMC- "If you put him in a round padded room with two steel balls, in five minutes he would break one and lose the other." and "He couldn't find his ass with both hands and a map."

When someone says it's nice to see you- "It's better to be seen than viewed"

When they ask how you are- "Woke up on the right side of the dirt."

 

Noddaz
Noddaz UltimaDork
3/13/25 10:53 a.m.

No matter where you go, there you are.

Stampie
Stampie MegaDork
3/13/25 11:35 a.m.

Rules are for followers.

jharry3
jharry3 Dork
3/13/25 11:46 a.m.
914Driver said:

"You get paid the same for marching as you do for fighting".

Corollary to this is:  " When the enemy is in range so are you".

Rons
Rons Dork
3/13/25 12:00 p.m.

He couldn't organize a one car funeral.

Peabody
Peabody MegaDork
3/13/25 2:17 p.m.

If you see something that's a really good deal,

That'll come in handy if you never use it.

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