When it rains it pours..... (Just venting, not important)

In reply to rob_lewis :

It's just a radiator hose - Ask for help.

I know (I do absolutely know and understand!!) that it feels like a big deal right then and there, but that is just due to the circumstances. It's important to understand and remember this, because (and this is why I'm typing this to you) when you are stressed and nervous, your ability (duh!) to deal with additional stress and issues becomes impaired. This leads to a negative spiral that is not always obvious.

It's just a radiator hose - Ask for help.

This spiral is what leads to meltdowns. Meltdowns over what appears to be simple things by the bystanders. Ever seen a man break down and cry over what appears to be something as basic as a CAD system crash? I have. A grown man in panic over "I don't remember my budget numbers!", before he is presenting to management? What the bystanders don't know is that this little simple issue (dripping coffee on your shirt, pinching your finger, laptop crashes, blowing a radiator hose) was the straw that broke the camels back. It was the millionth setback making the poor guy crack.

It's just a radiator hose - Ask for help.

Meltdowns (or "hitting the wall") are harmful. There are plenty of science and data backing up the fact that this is an almost digital point of a persons health: If you can turn the stress down BEFORE you go into meltdown, you recovery and overall effect on mental and physical health is much, much better.

1. Try to remember to keep the perspective on things - It's just a radiator hose.

2. ASK FOR HELP! This is important. Your situation sounds like hell - you are not suppose to deal with that stuff alone. Dare to ask friends and family for help, even on small stuff.

rob_lewis said:

  Dangit!!  Can I not catch a break?

This stuff happens sometimes. 2015 was my "market correction" year. From March to July, I gave up my house, my dog, got divorced, and was laid off from my job. Took a contract job and was laid off at the beginning of 2016. 

I hate what you are going through, but am grateful you are sharing it with us. Things will improve. As others have noted, you're too successful (on many levels) to be down for long. Please let us know how we can help (beyond listening here)!

EDIT: What's your LinkedIn profile?

One thought for now:  Job acquisition is a three-parameter fit:  Location, time, specificity.  You locked in location, so you can only pick one other.  Point is open your mind to new experiences.  This would require a great cover letter.  A really good first sentence to make someone read further.  Be honest and sell your underlying skill set - your thought process, decision making, independence, etc. and the fact that life threw you a curve and you can shrink away or attack it with gusto and look for a new challenge.   There are lots of small businesses that could appreciate the added value you bring to do IT work and web development.  

Hang in there - we're rooting for you!

glueguy said:

Be honest and sell your underlying skill set - your thought process, decision making, independence, etc. and the fact that life threw you a curve and you can shrink away or attack it with gusto and look for a new challenge.  

absolutely upsell the underlying skill set, because they are transferrable to nearly any industry.  once you know how to get a product through DV and PV and launch, it's not so important what the product is, because the process will share many deliverables regardless if it's a vehicle stability control system or the E36 M3-house door on a tuna boat.

The other thing I've often heard is that in the interview process is that it's really important to ask good questions of the company.  Turn around the "tell me about a time you overcame xxx" kind thing into "Tell me about a time you had an issue that would affect delivering your product on time.  How did you guys deal with that, by reducing quality or delaying to properly fix the issue or a mix of both?" kind of thing.  In the software world, asking about when the last time they had to have people routinely staying late to fix production problems or what the culture is like around shipping-time.

Besides the fact that'll get the interviewers talking to you more a bit more about "them," (therefore making you more personable and memorable), it also is the kind of a question that someone desperate doesn't ask.. You're showing confidence by asking them about the way their company operates, not just "I need money!"

edit:  Hah, timely Hacker News thread.  Here's the top post from it:

• Tell me about a time that you made a decision to improve code quality or architecture at the expense of a deadline.
• Tell me about a time that you invested resources into an engineer's technical development even though there would be no immediate, short term benefit to the company.
• Tell me about a time that you pushed back on a decision from business or design because one of your engineers said that it was the wrong technical decision.

Sorry to hear about your situation. I was close getting laid off earlier this year but managed to get a transfer out beforehand. Couldn’t imagine if it did happen.

I don’t know much of tech industry, but I am delivery driver and see signs for hiring everywhere. I’ll keep my eyes posted.

I’m right down the road in Pflugerville if you need any help with truck I’m sure I can arrange it. 

In reply to rob_lewis :

Chevrolet V type engines almost never lose a lower hose, but they do dribble down that hose from the weep hole on the water pump.

I'm sure you're already doing this, but network, network, network...talk to everyone you know, get names from them and talk to those people, and so on.  Sooner or later you're likely to find someone who needs a person just like you.  It can also be a way to get around the roadblock that is often set up by human resources departments to talk to the actual person who you'd be working for. 

You aren't necessarily looking for someone who has a job opening, but for someone who may know someone else who has a job opening.  Ask for informational interviews, where you sit down and spend 15 minutes talking to a person just to get your name out there and to show off your skills - it may impress them enough that they'll beat the bushes for you and turn up an opening somewhere else.

This is how I got my current job - I talked to a former coworker and he suggested I call up one of his friends who happened to own a small engineering consulting firm.  I had an informational interview with that guy, and a day later he called me back and set up a real interview.  I've been working for him for 25 years now.

Another thing is to dedicate a regular amount of time each day to the job search, since it's really a job in itself.  Spend that time doing research, writing letters, making calls to new contacts, making followup calls to people you've already met with, organizing your records (I kept an Excel spreadsheet to keep track of everything), etc.  Going to the library is a good idea, or set up a home office where you can concentrate on the job search without being distracted by other stuff around the house.  Keep the search going, and good luck!

Just a thought, isn't Austin and burgeoning tech area? Somebody has to be trying to create the next Facebook somewhere right? Yeah, it probably wouldn't pay much if anything but you know what they say about idle hands.  Networking is the most common way to find a job, so if nothing else you may find yourself with new connections.

My next thought is maybe it's time to take a step back and think about what you want to do for 12 hours a day instead of what you "know" and will pay the bills.  Not saying you shouldn't find a job that lines up with your skills, but maybe you need to take a day or two a week to try and build something else that can be that side hustle after you land a new gig (because you're totally going to land a new gig).

There are 168 hours in a week, you can't spend 80 of those looking for work without losing it at least a little bit.  Take a step back, maybe take a weekend and volunteer with the local sanctioning body or a amateur racer and spend 10 hours not thinking about it. 

And yeah, it's already been said, it doesn't matter how or who - reach out if you need help and don't suffer alone.  Sometimes it's easier to vent to people removed from the situation than close friends, ex-coworkers or family.

What about something like this? https://www.meetup.com/cities/us/tx/austin/

One of the first groups listed is for Agile. Go to meetings. Take your resume. Network your arse off!

Update:

First, I shouldn't read the forum replies before going into the interview.  You guys had me tearing up and I had to shut it down to compose myself.

Mom and dad came to the house and hung out with the pups while I went to the interview.  Interview was scheduled for an hour, I was there for about 2.5.  Talked to the CTO and the CEO (small company, 60 people, right in my wheelhouse).  I think the meeting with the CTO went well, only had about 20 minutes with the CEO and couldn't gauge it well.  With the number of people I've interviewed over the years and my emotional state, I have trouble figuring out if an interview went well or bad.  Plus, with all the rejections the past few months, I don't trust myself to get excited that I think something went well and get rejected.  It's happened too many times.  We'll see.

Got home, changed clothes and went to my wife's retail job.  My wife's been working for a women's clothing store part time on the weekends and one or two nights a week just to pull in some extra money and to keep her busy.  (Her choice, she liked doing it and as she said, kept her from shopping.)  The store (actually the whole corporation) is shutting all their stores at the end of this month.  When she lost her contract job, she just took on the manager job there starting yesterday.  Pay's about 1/3 of what her contract job pays, but we aren't complaining because it's something right now.  She pinged me early this morning (before the truck pooped out) and asked if I could come up and work for a few hours to help break down boxes, throw stuff away, etc.  I jumped at it to do some manual work and relieve stress and a few extra bucks always helps.  So, I worked about 4 hours there. 

Just explaining why it took a while respond.

Some good news, I was out looking at the truck a few minutes ago and the heater hose connector popped off.  From what I've read, it's common on GM's.  For now, I can bypass the hose (central Texas, currently 100 degrees, I won't need it for a while) and worry about fixing it when I'm employed.

I'll admit, posting to this forum helps keep me from totally breaking down.  When stuff like this happens, I usually freak for an hour or so (sometimes less, sometimes more) and then put my head down and get things done.  My previous post was my freak out point.  Now I'm back in getting things done mode.

Plus, I started my career in sales and did it for many years.  I know how to turn off the personal stuff and turn on the charm.  I've had friends and coworkers watch me in full crisis mode do a complete 180 when need be and shock the hell out of them.  One joked that I just had multiple personalities.  And, yes, I've kept an eye out for sales jobs, but I got out because of the stress of feast or famine with commission sales and not quite sure I could handle it right now with our finances.  But if something comes up, I'll take it.  I ask lots of questions in interviews.  I have to make sure and not "take over" and do the job for them.  A couple of interviews back I actually got feedback (rare) and the statement was: "The team really liked you and were on the fence, but you asked too many questions and they didn't get to ask you everything they wanted to, so because of the uncertainty, they're passing."  That shook me hard.  Oddly, in that interview, I know I stopped more than once and told them to ask me questions and they said "No, you're asking good questions, keep going."  Maybe just bad interviewers, but I think about it now going into an interview.....

I've also been networking like crazy.  Austin is a very incestuous town and it's more about who you know v. what you know.  I've been reaching out to everyone I can.  Meetups, so far, have netted me a few new recruiting firms to talk to, but most of the folks are there like me, looking for a new job.  Still doing them when I can.  Love the volunteering suggestion, as I do need to get out of the house. 

Two phone screens tomorrow, one Wednesday, waiting on the results of today's interviews, and three more phone screens I need to schedule for this week.  Plus, an out of the blue very interesting email from a Best Buy recruiter (I haven't applied there at all) that sounds promising and very flattering.

Fingers crossed that there might be hope.  I'll keep working it hard.

On a different note, I am casting a VERY wide net for my next job.  I know I have excellent people and project management skills and would be a boon to any company that hires me, it's just getting past the recruiting bots to get my foot in the door.

Thanks a metric ton you guys.  One for not telling me to stop whining about my first world problems and two for going above an beyond offering help.  I cannot state enough how much y'all have help me.  My honest, sincere thanks to all of you.

Ninja Edit: LinkedIn

-Rob

Sent you an email Rob.

Todd

In reply to rob_lewis :

Hit you up on Linkedin.

Sent you a message re LinkedIn

Be careful with recruiters...I remember a time many moons ago, when I was between jobs and was working with two recruiters; without consulting me they each set up interviews for the same job, which created an awkward moment when the HR person from that company called me to ask what was going on and why I was trying to interview with them twice.  Needless to say I ended up having zero interviews with that place. 

I just so happen to have an article on how to fix those GM heater hose connectors: http://knowhow.napaonline.com/how-to-replace-chevroletgmc-heater-hose-connectors/

rob_lewis said:

I'll admit, posting to this forum helps keep me from totally breaking down.  When stuff like this happens, I usually freak for an hour or so (sometimes less, sometimes more) and then put my head down and get things done.  My previous post was my freak out point.  Now I'm back in getting things done mode.

You and I are very much alike in that sense.  There's that buildup while everything's uncertain, and you're just imagining all the ways it's gone wrong and all the negative effects it's going to have on what you've gotta get done. 

.. and then you go in with your sleeves rolled up and knuckle through whatever it is and you cant believe you were that damn worried about whatever simple thing it was that seemed so big at the time.  I do it, every... damn... time.

I'm pullin for ya.  I cant do much else from where I'm at, but I know we're about to see the upswing here.

Truck is fixed!!  WOOOT!  Grabbed a hose connector from my kid's old kart, bypassed the heater core and drove it around a bit.  Nice and cool (had to add about half a gallon of distilled water).  Cost?  Zilch. 

Got everyone's LinkedIn and accepted and I'll start digging into opportunities.  Really appreciate it.  No news from yesterday's interviews, today's were initial recruiter calls, but hope to get to the next steps.

When dealing with recruiters, I always make sure to let them know I'm interviewing and asked who they're representing so I don't get double booked.  So far, I've only been burned when I applied at a company last November (for a different job) and they kicked back the recruiter's application for a different job because I was already in their system.

-Rob

stuart in mn said:

they each set up interviews for the same job

This. The recruiters don't like to tell you who their client, but I always ask and give the reason of "I may have already been submitted to your client."

Also, glad to hear you got the truck working easily. I'm sure that was a burdern you didn't need right now.

rob_lewis said:

Truck is fixed!!  WOOOT!  Grabbed a hose connector from my kid's old kart, bypassed the heater core and drove it around a bit.  Nice and cool (had to add about half a gallon of distilled water).  Cost?  Zilch. 

Got everyone's LinkedIn and accepted and I'll start digging into opportunities.  Really appreciate it.  No news from yesterday's interviews, today's were initial recruiter calls, but hope to get to the next steps.

When dealing with recruiters, I always make sure to let them know I'm interviewing and asked who they're representing so I don't get double booked.  So far, I've only been burned when I applied at a company last November (for a different job) and they kicked back the recruiter's application for a different job because I was already in their system.

-Rob

Keep an eye out at my company. I know today in our big TW meeting we were alerted to a few new positions that will be going public soon. A Product Manager and also a Media Manager and a Content Specialist.

I went through something similar to you in 2018.

Lost my job of 15 years and 3 days in a re-org, we were already negotiating a separation agreement to dissolve the marriage of 24 years, I had to move away from my kids and my mother passed. This all happened between Jan 30 and June 28. Believe me, it was rough, but one of the better things I did do was treat my Job Search, as a Job. Up every morning, check all the websites, work on Cover Letter and Resume and get them out there.

I was lucky in that I ended up working closely with a "Headhunter" and they gave me some great tips on editing my cover letter and resume.

It is much better now for me, but it has taken a long time. Some things never heal - having to move awy from my kids for a new job hurts so bad I can't even begin to describe it.

Take care and don't hesitate to reach out here, as others have said.

Cover letters: yes.

To some, the content of the cover letter is proof that you read and understood the cover letter, and aren't just spamming your resume out everywhere. Its biggest job is to explain clearly how you are a good fit for those requirements.

Clearly you're getting some traction whatever you're doing, but I know that's been a big deal with some hiring managers I've known.

Hang in there, you’ll get clear of this hurdle. 

I’ve been in a similar situation and had to deal with setbacks too. 

I was laid off from the energy industry back in 2015 when the downturn kicked off, looked for another job for almost a year with literally zero call backs except for the scammy places.

Decided to change gears and went to business school for my MBA. Worked hard and got into two of the most exclusive/competitive programs in the school. Finished last August and managed to get a pretty good job at a large commercial real estate services company’s for thought all was good. Then in November they “lay off” (get rid of) my boss that hired me. After a few more round and rounds they end up laying off my whole team that was hired by my former boss (politics), most of which hadn’t even been there a year. Severance? 1 week per year of service, so yeah we got berked. Luckily they also kept us on for another five weeks to transition us out. I used that time to work the heck out of my network, apply for jobs, and managed to find another gig through a contact at the old job.  It did make for a pretty stressful June-july, but it worked out in the end.  

Pretty sure I sent a LinkedIn invite to the right person, message me on there and I’ll connect you with the people I know in Austin that might have a need for someone with your skills. Keep at it and you’ll find something  

Talk to everybody that you get a chance to and network your ass off!