2 year old son won't get out of bed.
Force child to wake up.
Dogs won't come inside because they want to bark at the gas line crew.
Trip over cat.
Son wants to poop. Must be on the "little pottie" that I have to clean. Grrrr.
Trip over other cat.
Put stuff in car to take to work, realize that I left a window down during the hurricane last night. Grrr.
Son still pooping. Smell is ungodly.
Trip over cat that has clearly not learned the lesson not to lay in the hallway.
Cannot find the other thing I need to take to the office. Was here last night.
Kid is finally done pooping. I get to wipe. Remind me why kids are better than goldfish?
Kid refuses to put on clothes. Fine, go to grandmas naked.
Trip over cat.
Gather towels to dry car. Notice that I left the door open for 5 minutes. No worries, battery is practically new.
Grab son to force clothes onto.
Notice that he snuck back into bathroom and went pottie a little more. It is now mostly on my left arm.
Furiously clean arm.
Flush toilet to get rid of the first round of poo.
Scrub arm again.
Force clothes onto child.
Hear water running long after toilet stops filling.
Notice that the toilet tank somehow cracked and is now leaking all over the floor.
Shut off water. Throw good towel onto floor.
Take poo from little pottie to other bathroom for flushing.
Recall that other toilet is in mid-renovation.
Take poo container to slop sink to wash out.
Track drywall dust everywhere.
Go to shed to collet something for Grandpa.
Hit head on low-hanging bird feeder. Ouch.
Notice the lawn tractor that got left out in the storm. Doh!
Trip over dog.
Throw tarp over Lawn tractor.
Wrestle dogs into house.
Wrestle screaming child into car seat.
Search for car keys that got lost in the shuffle.
Still searching for keys. Throw a few things. Punch a few things. Swear a lot.
FINALLY get into car.
New battery was drained dead by 5 minutes of interior light.
Jump start car.
Notice burnt-out bulbs on passenger side.
Check inspection.
Ignore lights for 12 more months.
Pull out of driveway an hour late.
The odds are in your favor that the rest of the day will be better than the morning part.
