Would This Get Me Banned?

Let's say I wrote a novel. Let's say a publisher picked it up. Let's say that in a few months, when the editing and design/etc are all finished, I mentioned that fact on this board. Would the anti-canoe lords of retribution strike my account from existence?

No.

And.....

Dammit tell us more

....does it involve a subplot about how young, attractive women are attracted to guys who work on old rusty cars?

[it doesn't seem to work in real life, so you'll have to put it into fiction for me]

JoeyM wrote: ....does it involve a subplot about how young, attractive women are attracted to guys who work on old rusty cars? [it doesn't seem to work in real life, so you'll have to put it into fiction for me]

[50s] Of course women aren't attracted to you, you destroy appliances for your cars, and appliances are a womans lifeblood. You're essentially the devil. [/50s]

Is it about a Daewoo that kills people?

Not a canoe if GRM characters are in it...

In reply to fasted58:

Can I be the escaped mental patient?

Wally wrote: In reply to fasted58: Can I be the escaped mental patient?

That is no stretch, we already knew that

I hope that it's good and that it's about cars so that when someone says "Reccomend me a good book about cars" we don't have to listen to a bunch of idiots telling us how great The Art of Racing in the Rain is again.

On a side note, I am happy for you.

aussiesmg wrote: And..... Dammit tell us more

The first one to come out is actually a historical(ish) fiction. I've got two more in the works, but they aren't going to be ready for a while longer. Anyway, the first is based on the Biblical Book of Joshua. It explores how morally normal people can, with just a few tricks, kill off all the Canaanites, keep their humanity and end up the heroes in church songs 3,000 years later.

Basically, I think it's far too easy when we look at the bad things in history and say "so and so was a monster." Monsters don't attract followings, normal people do. In that sense, in the sense of actually justifying genocide internally enough that I could write the protagonists convincingly, this book was scary as all hell. A lot of my beta readers have actually said it reads almost like a psychological horror novel.

Woody wrote: I hope that it's good and that it's about cars so that when someone says "Reccomend me a good book about cars" we don't have to listen to a bunch of idiots telling us how great The Art of Racing in the Rain is again. On a side note, I am happy for you.

Thanks!

It is unfortunately set about 3,400 years before the invention of the car, so not in the conventional sense.

That said, I did do a ton of research on Assyrian chariots and the early iron age in Mesopotamia, which ends up being plot relevant, so kinda sort if you squint?

aircooled wrote: Is it about a Daewoo that kills people?

That's the sequel. I'm calling it "The Night of the Living Lanos."

What happened with that biopunk comedy thing you posted bits of before?

In reply to JoeyM: Sadly, rust has not proven an effective aphrodisiac for me, either. I have to rely on my impeccable fashion sense and sexy body.

In reply to fasted58: You guys have provided more than a few one liners for my upcoming second novel.

GameboyRMH wrote: What happened with that biopunk comedy thing you posted bits of before?

It just crested 300 pages in Word. I need to finish it, edit it, get a couple beta readers, run it through a critique group, etc. It's probably at least a year away.

That said, where the Joshua book was scary to write, this one has been a blast. It even gave me an excuse to use my store of pterodactyl porn jokes.

Don't google that, btw. That which is seen cannot be unseen.

Oh I've heard of it...and seen screencaps of the "spider porn"

Just make it available on iTunes so I can read it.

In reply to GameboyRMH: That's horrifying.

I'll make sure to put it on iTunes.

Thanks for the support everybody.

If you previously created 1,500+ posts just so you could spam us with your book, then that is the longest con I've ever seen.

Post it up man, preferably with links to Amazon so we can order it.

DaewooOfDeath wrote:

aussiesmg wrote: And..... Dammit tell us more

The first one to come out is actually a historical(ish) fiction. I've got two more in the works, but they aren't going to be ready for a while longer. Anyway, the first is based on the Biblical Book of Joshua.

Yep....definitely not based on my car build. That bears more resemblance to the Book of Job.