You've had this conversation

My wife (seeing the Band-Aid): What did you do? 

Me: Nothing

Her: How bad is it? 

Me: Ah, it's nothing. 

Her: Do you need stitches? 

Me: One, Maybe two

Her: Are you going to the hospital? 

Me: Nah, I got the band-aid on there tight. 

Her: You're a moron. 

Me: I love you honey. 

I call B.S.

You used electrical tape, didn't you?

Multiple times, but substituting "duct tape" for "Band-Aid."

Margie

Yup, sounds like my house, too.  Though she'd probably say 'idiot' instead of 'moron'.  

ShawnG said:

I call B.S.

You used electrical tape, didn't you?

and a piece of paper towel. 

A real man superglues it back together unstead of going to get stitches. 

Hurts like nothing else short of getting second degree burns on your daddy bags. 

My wife has interesting first aid stories for her scout troop. Ive known her since the late 90s, well before i got clean and sober......

Dusterbd13-michael said:

A real man superglues it back together unstead of going to get stitches. 

Hurts like nothing else short of getting second degree burns on your daddy bags. 

 

My wife has interesting first aid stories for her scout troop. Ive known her since the late 90s, well before i got clean and sober......

Was doing this this morning after cutting my leg falling through the roof of a van. 

In reply to Professor_Brap :

Not even gonna question how you fell through the roof of a van...

Dusterbd13-michael said:

A real man superglues it back together unstead of going to get stitches. 

Hurts like nothing else short of getting second degree burns on your daddy bags. 

 

My wife has interesting first aid stories for her scout troop. Ive known her since the late 90s, well before i got clean and sober......

When Lil Stampie was in kindergarten he cut his knee on the playground. His mom had to bring him to me because he insisted they could just put super glue on it like Daddy. 

Daylan C said:

In reply to Professor_Brap :

Not even gonna question how you fell through the roof of a van...

some questions are best left unanswered. 

I bought butterflies and a stapler, just in case.

A year or so back I got distracted using a 15ga air nailer, aligned the gun too shallow, and shot a nail through two of my fingers on my left hand.

Wife and kids were out of the house at the time, but just happened to pull into the driveway as I was coming out of the house (after bleeding all over it) with my hand wrapped in a towel carrying my immunization card.

Pretty much had that exact conversation. OTOH it's probably good she showed up at that exact moment because I was wondering how I was going to drive one of the manual transmission cars to urgent care.

My wife has better things to do than notice these things it seems

we had two miatas (95R, MSM). I didnt use for about 8 months. They were parked in front of house.

i sold both cars. About a year later wife says “the miatas in front, they are not there anymore, what happened to them?”

there is not a human alive more oblivious than my wife

Whenever I come in from working on a car without obvious injury, the first thing my girlfriend does is look me over to see what I've managed to lacerate or abrade. Rarely does the search come up empty.

She doesn't question the method of repair. Not anymore. 

My wife's vet truck has too many sutures on it for me to get away with that. She can also euthanize a Clydesdale with the same truck so I dont get away with any funny business!

Your wives care about you!? Do any of them have sisters!?

Only child.

Floating Doc said:

Those suck. I fell for the advertising on the packaging. They aren't as good as duct tape or band aids.

My wife cringed the first time I used Zap to close a nasty cut and asked her to spray accelerator on it.  

I use metal tape when I cut myself at work. Provided I remember I'm bleeding.


Probably not a good thing when you stop noticing sheet metal cuts.

As a teenager I was flipping a hatchet, miscue and i sliced a piece of skin on my fore finger.   Held the flap with my thumb until I could access a band aid.  Luckily there was almost no blood.  Healed nicely.   After all these years there is still a trace of the scar.

There are some new bandaid with basically zipties built into them. I haven't found them in stores yet, but they may finally replace my roll of electrical tape and paper towels.

iceracer said:

As a teenager I was flipping a hatchet, miscue and i sliced a piece of skin on my fore finger.   Held the flap with my thumb until I could access a band aid.  Luckily there was almost no blood.  Healed nicely.   After all these years there is still a trace of the scar.

I did something similar with a 3’ paper cutter.