1985 BMW 318 Stage Rally Build - 1988 Porsche 924S Street Build - Sequoia Build

Solid write up as always. It was fun hanging out again at Bristol, it's been a while.

Think the car will be ready for next week rallycross or still hopping in the aforementioned spare seat?

Specific thank you to Jim for all the help and advice he gave Julia 

That's a bummer about the radiator, hopefully you can get an engine replacement this season.   It'll be interesting if you rallycross the other car to see the difference in weight vs difference in power.  There's plenty more competitive cars out there to co-drive, but you're always welcome to a seat in the POS13.

I got a few terrible snaps of your car out there in the woods from Stage 1 and 3:

RustBucketLegacy said:

Solid write up as always. It was fun hanging out again at Bristol, it's been a while.

Think the car will be ready for next week rallycross or still hopping in the aforementioned spare seat?

Definitely not....haven't touched it. I'll co-drive with Chris Helgesen for this one and then see what things look like for the one after that. I have to go to PA to get the engine when Ozgur goes to his storage garage, so not sure yet when that will be. 

Good to see you guys as well, and congrats again on your finish!

Thanks for the pics, they look great!

First win not in my car, not in my class

So zero progress on the rally car, but Stephen Nichols (several-time season champ) was gone for this rallycross so he lent me his seat in the car he shares with Chris Helgesen, which is essentially a PR class car that they run (and win with sometimes) in MR. I was going to run in MR with Chris, but at the last second his son (Neslie on here) decided to come and Chris wanted to run with him, so I took the car to PR class and hoped to at least be competitive with many-time regional PR and last year's national PR champion, Shawn (moxnix on here).

Disclaimer: as far as I know, the car is legal for PR, but I'm not 100% certain of the rules since I've never run in PR. It's an e30 with stock engine, full interior (including my old, old Sparco seats from 10 years ago in this thread), and suspension simialr to my car's old setup. It also has a steering wheel with the worst rubbery, flexy grip ever lol. And we were all running on some half-tread maxsports. That said, I've driven it before and it's a solid car and very easy to drive in anger (easier than mine, I kinda think).

Here it is with Shawn's unicorn

Running PR was also cool because it runs opposite heat with MR, so I got to see all the guys in my usual class tearing it up:

The boys running the car in MR

We ran the smaller course, which I figured would be extra-good for Shawn, but as it turned out there were a few big bump sections and his Miata is pretty low and was hitting the ground pretty hard it seemed, making it harder to go fast. We started in the morning session trading fastest runs and IIRC at lunch he had a 1 second lead on me (or something like that). I fully expected him to "drop the hammer" in the afternoon session because 1) I know it doesn't MATTER since he's gonna win PR class regardless, and can just drop this event but 2) Shawn likes to win too, and isn't gonna back off with some actual competition in the class. But the course was not to his liking, and in the PM I got a good feel for the car and took the lead and extended it. I'd have to look, but I think I won by 8 seconds (no cones, and he had two I think). So that's nice - I started rallycross in Shawn's class and he beat me repeatedly in the old RX7....I think maybe I've beaten him once or twice over the years at non-DC events, maybe, but he runs times similar to the top MR class cars so I actually consider it quite an accomplishment to outright beat him (do it 2 more times and he probably wins both lol).

So, that was good. Hey, recognize this car from GRM?

Meanwhile, I had the Raider there, which was a nice corner working station out in a hot, dusty field

It also got some use dragging brokedown Subaru

So not sure what's going on yet with MY car....The plan as it stands is to get the engine from Ozgur in mid-June after he gets back from SOFR, and then do whatever needs to be done to make it useable (TBD). So definitely not going to drive it in the June rally-x, and we'll see if I bum a ride with someone else in whatever class.....again, TBD. 

So Jim competed with Kevin Brolin last weekend at Southern Ohio Forest Rally and they finished in a respectable 5th place in L2WD in the mudwhale e30 (Jim ravaing about Kevin's new suspension so I'll have to get more gouge on what he did). Anyhow, if Jim wants to write something about that here I'll leave it up to him (or not). 

In the meantime, I got off my ass and did a compression and leakdown test on the rally car to tell me what I already pretty much expected: Compression was fine, but leakdown was in the mid-20% range which isn't good, with the blowby clearly going through the coolant (I could hear it bubbling from the hose since there's no radiator attached. So unsurprisingly that probably means head gasket went goodbye and may or may not have warped the head. I'm going probably next weekend to pick up an M50 from Ozgur that's been sitting a while (I think I helpd him pull it a few years ago for the e34 oil pan on it), so once I get that I'll leakdown it and see if I'm gonna just straight swap it over, or just steal the head and put it on mine. The engine in the rally car, you may recall, is mostly "as is" from how I pulled it from the e34 it came out of, I didn't do a teardown, mostly just refreshed the VANOS (IIRC). So anyhow, we'll see how that all goes. 

Seatching for Michael Scott, Success, and Failure

Yesterday I loaded up the Sequoia with wood blocks and straps and headed 4 hours north to Scranton, PA (the fake location of "the Office" if you don't get the reference. Also the location of Ozgur's storage garage, full of stuff he's accrued over 20 years of racing and building cars - but more importantly home of an M50 engine that (as is his usual) offered up for free when he heard I needed one. Funny thing is I actually helped him pull this engine at a junkyard years ago - he got it for the e34 oil pan for his nicer m50 and just stuck this one in the storage garage until now. I wish I could find the excellent photo we took that day.  

Anyhow, he didn't have an engine hoist there (it was being borrowed) but the engine was on a stand. We figured we could just roll it close and it would be close enough to brute-force it....Nope. The Sequoia with the sleeping/cargo platform in the back is pretty damn tall and the engine was a good foot too low. So we rolled it up on a hill and made a plywood ramp and tried it that way, which almost ended in it falling over on one/both of us. Then his neighbor (a 30-something guy) comes over and asks if we need a hand, and 20 minutes later and much brute force, and the engine was in there:

I wish I had some pics of this process, because between our ghetto-tastic wooden ramp and other methods, there were some funny moments. But it's hard to take pics when there's 400-500 lbs precariously sitting on a 3-leg stand on a hill.....

Now is also a good time to mention that the Sequoia has only TWO hardpoint tiedowns in the back (WTF!), so had to do some creative strapping to keep this engine in place, using the baby-seat LASH anchors among other things, and lots of my wood blocks. M50 engines sit at an angle so they naturally want to fall over when not mounted in the car. But got it strapped in, and it didn't move for the 4 hour trip home, punctuated by a 20-minute delay on Rt. 15 as all the cars tried to get by a few hundred bikers on a cruise...

So go it home, and next problem: Theres only a few inches clearance above the engine.....how the hell am I going to lift it up to get it out with my hoist? After much thinking about things, I got the hoist hooked up next to the engine, pulled the blocks, and let it "fall over" a few inches. Then used a big ratchet strap over the boom itself to lift up the back of the engine slightly....still on the cardboard but not all its weight.

Then put a ratchet strap from the hoist to the rally car in the garage...so the hoist couldn't move down the driveway

And slowly drove the truck forward and slid the engine out. Success!

Got it on my stand, and pulled the valve cover. Looks clean in there:

But....something doesn't look right. You e36 people will probably notice immediately:

THERE'S NO VANOS. It didn't occur to me that Oz would even have on just sitting there. And during all the effort of getting it out of his shed and loading it, it didn't even occur to me (or I didn't notice). Since Non-Vanos early M50s are in-demand for the track car guys (eliminating the need to fix the frequently-bad VANOS),  they're not as common to find. However, mine is a VANOS engine, which makes peak TQ lower down, better for rally (not necessarily for track).  Plus my VANOS is recently rebuilt, so no issue there. 

The VANOS head will bolt right up to my block, but you lose some TQ curve, and you have to go find the "red label" early non-VANOS DME (ECU) as well, which is gonna be a couple hundred bucks since they're not that common. Plus, there are some wiring differences and a few other things you have to do. All of these things are an issue. So I'm left with a few choices:

1. Freshen up this non-VANOS engine, find a DME, and do a full engine swap and get a bit less performance .

2. Find a VANOS head elsewhere for my engine (maybe trade the NV full engine for one, IDK). I could also keep the engine and build it up for the other e30 project, which currently has a low-budget M42 in it......that would make for possibly a better rallycross car than the stage car (subtracting a lot of weight...). 

3. Take my head to the machine shop and have them find the crack(s) and fix them, which likely will not be cheap.

--

Regardless of the choices, the car's current head is coming off, so I got down and dirty this evening and did that:

After 3 years of rally/rallycross, the area under the intake manifold is DIRTY. But the block, pistons, and piston sleeves look pretty excellent so that's a plus

So, we'll see what the next step is. So close to success only to have this hiccup is pretty annoying (at least the engine was free other than $100 in gas to get it...). And now my garage is crammed full again....

PS - if anyone here has an M50 VANOS head in good shape, LMK!

LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN

Well after the prior semi-failure, I started searching for a VANOS head on Marketplace, ebay, etc....and found one! Down in Roanoake VA, about 4 hours from me in literally the furthest-away area of the state. I contacted the owner and he said it was a VANOS head from a '95 325i that he had had decked, checked for cracks, valves lapped and new valve seals, and then ended up parting the car and never installed it. Had been sitting on a shelf for over 5 years. In the pics it looked pretty decent though really dirty inside. He said he had put some "stuff" on the valve springs to keep them from rusting, so I assumed cosmolene or naval jelly or something. Anyhow, for $200 I took the day off work and went for another road trip - this time in the GTI (which can do 8 hours on the highway on one tank of gas). 

Side note: I-81 continues to be the suckiest travel road I know of, with a billion trucks, so easy to get stuck behind 2 slow people and never pass, and it rained the whole way down and back so it was basically white-out at 70mph for 8 hours. Yay. 

Anyhow, I arrived to the address given and this was it:

An old powerplant, which seems to be kinda-sorta occupied by everything from a ballet school to a junkyard to an natural gas distributor, welding shops, and art studios. The address in Google took me specifically here, down in the bowels of the old plant. A bit sketchy on a gray rainy day lol

I got in touch with the seller and told him I was "under the smokestack" and he laughed and said "there are FOUR of them here" but it turned out he was right around the corner. So first, funny coincidence (I knew this from talking to him beforehand but still funny)....if you follow my threads you know about my Raider. Well, I went over to his garage and see:

And then go inside and see:

Turns out he's on some of the same Mitsu pages I am. Small world.

Also interesting is that his "garage/storage place" seems to be the main generator room for when this place was an active powerplant. The roof is about 100 feet up, and braced with new-looking I-beams. He notes it's "not structurally sound, there was a giant explosion in here a decade ago and those beams are the only thing holding the roof trusses up" (and that he's moving out of there becuase it's going to be demolished).

So that was pretty neat. Anyhow, I checked out the head and it was as advertised, with some goop on the inside (and 5 years worth of dust and stuff) but otherwise nice and fresh. He also had a couple e36 tie rods (new) sitting there and told me to take them, the last of his old BMW stuff. So I threw it in the hatchback and took off for 4 more hours of rainy I-81 driving home.

Saw this along the way, probably headed north to the Glen

Back at home, took a look. Head looks good on the outside:

freshly cleaned and lapped valves and new seals, a bit dusty

But inside, goopy stuff:

Should I be bad and remove this? NOt like I know who guaranteed it anyhow haha. But the fact that they have their own stamp gives me a bit of confidence that it was a decent machine shop, I suppose:

Seems this stuff was probably more jelly-like years ago but had hardened up (like....um...week-old Jelly?). Acetone would take it off but how to get in al all the crevaces and stuff. In the end, I sprayed acetone all over it, let it sit for a few minutes, and then blasted it for 15 mins with my powerwasher on 0-degree setting. That took pretty much all of it off (plus another 15 mins of high-pressure air from my compressor to blow out any debris and water). So now it looks better:

So, over the next few days I'll do the "heart transplant" and put the car back together, hopefully. 

$200, and you got to take fantastic photos at an awesome location for free!  After staring at mine, your head looks weird and long and has too many bits.  And that goo is weird, but I'd take it over my lunar craters.  Also, my head came back from the shop with an identical tag.  It's an overheat detection thing.

Hah, yeah hey I've done three M42s so I hear you! Plus the M42 head is a LOT lighter!

--

Anyhow, after I posted last night I was restless and went ahead and moved the cams and trays to the new head (hopefully safely).

And today let's install it. I'll say first that this part gives me some serious anxiety. That I cleaned the head and block sufficiently. That I have things adjusted right. That I'm not going to a) drop it and berkeley something up or b) tear my back up lifting it into place.

Well, here goes....My 11-year old daughter was nice enough to feed the timing chain through as I clumsily put the block down (I'd usually get a 2nd person for lifting help, but both of my neighbors are out of town this week and i'm impatient). As soon as I got in in place I had a sudden panic about how well I had cleaned the bottom of the head after taking it off my workbench. I couldn't remember doing it, so I clumsily lifted the block up again partway, reached under with lint-free cloths and gave a good wipe and a hard blast of compressed air. I probably should have taken it all the way off, but not sure my back would have actually let me lift it again safely. 

So back into place (fingers crossed). Did the head bolts (after a minor panic when I couldn't find two of the spacer washers from the old head)

Then timing work and VANOS re-install. But a problem - When I took the old head apart, I noticed the middle chain guide piece was broken:

So I stole the identical one off the other M50NV tha tI got from Ozgur

One odd thing is that both the M50NV and my 1992 head have three bolt holes for this piece, while the new (95) head only has two. I honestly don't see any reason for a third bolt, so maybe BMW ditched it to save 10 cents, IDK. It's the gold hole at bottom right of the piece.

So, it's in. Also got the exhaust header somewhat on there before quitting for the night. Hopefully can get it mostly taken care of tomorrow, we'll see.

DC RallyCross Event #3 Wrap-Up

I didn't quite get the car ready in time, waiting on a few small parts but no dice on running it at today's rallycross. But it is about 95% back together...

In any case, Neil Cox had to bail so Eric Eisele sent me a message offering up a seat (noted that Mike Julian and Matt Miller had also offered a seat up for the event). So I brought my wheels/tires and he brought the car. Even though we were at the very excellent Panthera venue, probably one of the coolest rallycross places on the East Coast, turnout was one of the smallest for DC in almost a decade....less that 30 cars. I think that was mostly because a) summer vacations, b) NEFR coming up soon so the guys running that didn't come, c) THREE of the two-drive e30s didn't come, d) it rained all week so some people probably assumed it would be cancelled and made other plans, and e) Panthera's about an hour further than Summit Point for most people (though IMO Panthera is far superior in all respects). 

But Eric and Nick were there, plus Matt in his just-barely-put-back-together 240SX (see his thread here on GRM), and a few other cars. But a really small MR class overall - it's usually like 15 drivers, I think we had like 6 today.  Weather was great (though hot), adn the course got enough rain to not be too dusty, but also wasn't wet. So off we went.

On the first run, Mike Golden took the fast time in his MR2 but promptly broke a rear suspension piece as he crossed the line. I was 2nd fastest. On the 2nd run, I was fastest, though Eric's car is oddly a LOT different driving dynamics from Stephen/Chris's e30 I used at the last event, which is odd since they're pretty similar in most respects. On both our second runs, Eric and I noticed up near the start that the was a heavy vibration. We both wrote it off to wheel hop with the Maxsport tires on and/or washboard-y surface. Eric ran his third, and I jumped in and took off from the line. On the 1-2 upshift a BANG and heavy vibration, clearly driveline. We pulled off and jacked the car up only to find that two of the front driveshaft bolts had sheared (and the other two still there but loose/bent. Turns out they recently did some driveline work and maybe didn't torque stuff enough or use new locknuts? IDK.

In any case, with me out of the points I just cashed out the day while Eric finished his morning runs in Nick's M3 and did his afternoon runs in Shawn and Katie's Miata, so he still took 2nd and got his class points.

I grabbed a run in Matt's 240SX, which seriously doehs not have any rear-end grip, and I fought it all the way through the course, wiping out an outside cone wall in the process (but still putting down a time only 1 second off the BMW pace, somehow). I think he has some plans

I also got a run in the afternoon in Mike Julian's H6-swapped Impreza, which was a riot of power and grip, and my times were respectable seeing as I've only driven a Subaru at RX one time, ever. I was about 2 seconds off his/Kimmett's pace, and wasn't pushing hard. Man, Subies are easy to drive :) This is a pic I took of him driving his car, but of course I looked just as awesome when I drove it.....yeah

So a long day in the sun and while most people racked up like 15-16 runs with the low turnout, I took five and mostly just hung out, towed the e30 back to the paddock, and helped Mike G. and Andy load the MR, which rear-steered off the trailer with the broken suspension so I strapped up the Sequoia and dragged it on.

-- break --

This evening figured I'd do a coolant system pressure test since everything in the cooling system is back together. So got the compressor going and put pressure to the system......and heard air leaking and the gauge showing it not holding pressure. Air leak was coming from the front area of the engine and sudden panic that the HG didn't seal.....So I sprayed soap solution all over everything and repressurized the system. Whew......thermostat housing leaking

Pulled it off and the obvious culprit. The O-ring must have fallen down when I put the housing on and got pinched/cut.

So I ordered a new one (well, like 5 since they're 49 cents each) and once that's in, will pressure test again and hope all is good. 

welp....engine all back together and....nothing. No start, almost no compression, leakdown fails entirely with air exiting through intake at TDC. So IDK how I could have done it, but guessing I put the cam(s) in out of phase (that's all I can think of) which means the valves are probably now bent to E36 M3. I'll get my hands on a boroscope just to be sure, but can't think of what else it could be. In any case, I have the old head with good valves so I suppose I'll be un-doing all this again, swapping valves, and putting it all back together again. But not this week. Maybe not this month. Putting this car on the shelf now, and this summer will be devoted toward finishing the other e30 instead, which isn't far from being done. Maybe I'll rallycross that for the rest of the season, but figure no more stage rally this year in the e30, I don't think. Maybe it's time for a break and save up some money for an M54 or something lol....<sigh>

 

Aww, man.  I don't know which of us is having worse luck these days...

Can you pull the cams without pulling the head?  If possible, popping them out first and re checking leakdown could save a lot of headache.  Or tell you what you are already thinking, I guess.

Last week I did an intake on Ohio's last Chevy 3400.  They make a little tool to slip on the rockers to lift them up and pop the pushrods out so you can change the gaskets.  #1 intake was REALLY hard to get back in, I had to roll the engine over to get enough room.  Odd.  Went to start the engine, loud squeaking noises and a very dead hole.  Unplugged the injectors and the Polish compression test confirmed, one soldier was AWOL.  Pulled the front plugs and all had 180psi.  Berk.  The rear plugs are a bitch in a minivan.  Removed all the accessories you have to remove to get to the rear bank, checked #1... 180psi, and compression sounded even?  Put all the plugs back in, wires on, injectors plugged in... fired up and ran smooth on all six.

So let's hope the same cosmic weirdness that gave ME a heart attack also works in your favor as well.

Pulled the valve cover and at TDC the cams appear to be aligned correctly. I can turn the engine with a hand wrench with plugs in, and don't feel anything of note. I'll do another leakdown tomorrow (too late to turn the compressor on tonight since it's right below my daughter's bedroom). Maybe when I did the leakdown I wasn't totally at TDC or something, IDK. 

Also possible none of that is a problem and the no-start is due to another issue. I did have to cut the cam position sensor wire when I took the head off since I couldnt' get the bolt off with the head in the car (BMW put it in a crappy place where the VANOS is in the way). I spliced the wires back together which seemed pretty basic, but maybe it's not getting the correct signal through. Or maybe I have two of the electrical plugs under the IM hooked up wrong.

In any case will look at it tomorrow.

And yeah Pete, pretty sure I can pull the cams with the head on the engine, but man that's a tedious thing on these cars and not sure I want to do it lol. 

so did another round of tests today with the battery fully charged and air compressor full.

leakdown test still showed low, but much better than before. Showing 30% loss or so at 80psi, which isn't very good at all - but I've also seen quite a few people noting that cold engine leakdowns alway show badly, so IDK. On the other hand, did a compression test with plugs out and a fully charged battery and was getting around 150 psi give or take on 5 cylinders and around 130 on #5 (which has always been lower). That was a cold compression test "wet" (with a bit of oil in the cylinders) - dry was about 10psi lower but no surprise 200k mile rings are worn. In any case, that kind of compression cold SHOULD allow the car to fire and run, and I imagine also rules out bent valves. I expect it also rules out beint TOO far out of timing, if at all. 

So the plan:

1. Ordered a new cam sensor (and a new crank sensor since they're cheap)

2. Since I have to pull the VANOS to install the cam sensor, I'll re-check the VANOS setup at that time, along with one more timing check. 

3. Once I have the new cam sensor in, if it still doesn't fire I'll do more diagnosis regarding fuel/spark (can't at the moment since all the VC stuff is apart.

Anyhow, that seems more promising since compression is at worst reasonably ok for a high-mileage engine. 

so the new Cam sensor came in today. To get to it you have to remove the VANOS, which is fine since I did some more checking on the timing. Turns out my timing pulley has TWO hash marks on it for some reason. I had aligned to the one that looked like the real one (the other one is a lighter hash) but apparently that was wrong. After triple-checking I determined I was one tooth off on the cam timing chain...which probably explains why the low compression/leakdown. Though one would think that one tooth off timing would still allow for the car to start, if not rough-running. 

In any case, put it all back together, timed correctly this time, and....

Engine fired right up and sounded good at idle in the garage. I still suspect my spliced cam sensor may not have been letting any fuel flow either, so perhaps the no-start was due to that, IDK. In any case, everything seems fine, though I need to get the car OUT this weekend and test-drive it to make sure. So, that's good. 

Just a couple other things that I did along the way. With the exhaust off it let me patch up a few small leaks and finish a weld line that I couldn't reach when I put the muffler on the exhaust on the car.

In any case, the double-plated exhaust has held up well, just has some dents...and with the leaks patched i didn't hear the usual gurgling exhaust leak that Ive listened to for years. 

What else...oh, for the THIRD time my washer reservoir cracked at the bottom mount....what a crappy design. Previous fixes never worked and I kept having to find "new" (old) ones to use. This time I dremeled out a groove at the lower mount and generously filled it with epoxy that's supposed to work for this kind of plastic. I also basically oured about an inch-deep puddle of the stuff down at the bottom so that will hopefully seal everythign up.

spot of the leak:

Also, if you don't have a vacuum coolant bleeder, you need one. Makes adding coolant to a (literally empty) engine a snap, and on my previous two uses there was no air or need for additional bleeding.

Gratutitous Raider + Trailer shot from the other day. I had to do some re-wirign and powerwashing so why not take a pic

Ran the car in the driveway for 20 mins or so on a 90 degree day, and did a quick run up the street (not far since the car isn't totally back together). Temps sat at 205 with no fan and dropped to 190 with the fan on so looks like it's cooling well. Engine feels smooth and strong as well. Had what sounded like some lifter tick initially, but that went away after a few minutes at moderate rpms, so everything seems fine. 

Only thing that got me a tad worried was seeing some oil in my coolant reservoir. Maybe 1-2mm on top of the coolant. I figure that's leftover from the badly blown HG/head, since no coolant was in the engine some oil probably made its way into the block. So will have to do some coolant flushes I guess, which is annoying since I put good coolant in there not thinking about this possibility....

Well, everyone I now is at New England Forest Rally this weekend (and at this moment, Nonacks are sitting in 1st in L2WD in the BRZ and Brolin is in 2nd in L2WD a few seconds behind them - with Jim co-driving for him as is usually the case when I'm not at a rally. So let's catch up on some stuff:

1. The oil in the coolant must have just been some residue, because after I got that bit out the coolant has been pretty much clean after a few drives (just a light sheen of oil maybe). In any case, all seems fine on that end.

2. Did a compression test after a 10-minute drive to warm it up, and here are the results. Pretty decent, and a bit higher than I recall the engine being before (probably because the decked head slightly ups compression?).  2 and 3 are a bit lower than I'd like compared to the others (and all were tested 2-3 times) but all well within spec.

So, that's good

My front strut bar has always been a crappy fit (ti's one of those cheap ones, and I've never thought it actually provided much actual stiffening, frankly, due to the lousy end design). Anyhow, I went to put it back on and could not get it to line up...it's as if the towers have moved inward a bit, which makes senes on two other observations: 1. the bar was hard to get off when I removed it to do the head, and 2. some of the welded area on the outside braces (that run to the inner fender metal) have cracked. No real suprise that a 38-year-old car that's been abused for the past decade is getting a bit of cracking and bending going on. In any case, need to stiffen things up a bit while I have some time. First thing I cleaned and re-welded the cracked area.

Second, got out my fancy plasma cutter (not very fancy) and fancy plasma cutting table

Made some templates with the ol' USPS boxes..

Then cut out some caps for the strut towers, rather sloppily. 

weldy weldy

./.

not going to talk about rally for a bit. more later. 

one of the worst days in recent memory

Last night I got a phone call from a friend at New England Forest Rally, late at night. The kind of call you never want to get. Erin Kelly, a rally codriver and a good friend, was killed in a crash during competition on Stage 5. There's media out there about the crash and Erin's impressive rally career. But that stuff doesn't matter. Though I met Erin through rally a number of years ago, when she lived up in New England, we became good friends over the years - mostly chatting online about our shared interests as people of the same age (music, movies, whatever), her funny stories about all the guys contacting her via dating apps and asking for advice on "which dress to wear on this date," ridiculous stories from her workplace, and so on. A couple years ago she and her new then-boyfriend moved down to this area about an hour from me and we were able to hang out in person more frequently - and we ended up chatting more about all of the animals living on the farm where they lived, or her myriad new hobbies - glass etching, big-time gardening, raising chickens, photography, gourmet cooking. While none of those things are really up my alley, I always enjoyed the conversations because she had such a joy for life and for the natural beauty around her, all told along with funny or sarcastic commentary. We almost never talked about rally. Last year I was honored to be at her small country wedding to Erik. We'd get together for drinks every month or two, which were always good times.

She asked me a couple months ago if I wanted to ride up to NEFR with her, since Erik was going to stay and watch the animals at the farm and I was considering going up to crew for other friends. The 12-hour haul to NEFR is daunting but with her it would have undoubtedly be a fun trip. Unfortunately other things came up and I couldn't go, so said we'd get together afterwards for brunch or something, as we all parted ways from a country cidery with hugs. That was the last time I talked to her.

I know a lot of people outside of rally have never heard of her, but it's tough to talk to actual people about memories and loss, so maybe I'm just writing this for posterity. I've often thought about the possibilty of crashing in rally and injuring Jim (or myself), especially after Ozgur's big crash a couple years ago that I probably mentioned. It's one of the reasons I've never been a particularly fast stage rally driver, in spite of being fast at rally-x.  I don't want to run out of luck or driving skill beyond a certain level of consequences. And while people will say "Erin died doing what she loved," or "we know the danger when we race," that's weak solace because you never actually believe it will happen, I guess. I'm sure she'd have rather lived to old age with her animals and husband and garden if she actually thought this would happen. But that's neither here nor there,  I'm not trying to start an argument about life or the big picture or YOLO.....

There's no moral in this story, I guess. Just needed somewhere to vent because I'm sad and angry, and I suppose if you've been following this thread for the last decade and thousands of posts, maybe you'll humor me this one time. I'd say one of the cliche' rally phrases "send it" or "press on regardless," but berkeley that.  I just want my wonderful friend back, even if it meant never rallying again. Rememer to tell your friends and family you love them. Every day. 

Saw this news on Instagram, I didn't know her but your kind and thoughtful eulogy/trip down memory lane made me feel like I did know her.

Thoughts and prayers to you over the loss of a friend and to her husband for his loss. 
 

Again, well written, and appreciate the insight in to who she was.

Geez man, I'm so sorry to hear about Erin's passing. She sounds like a great person who certainly had a positive impact on yourself and many others she touched. This is very much the place to post and no need to apologize for the loss of your friend and rally family member.

i  heard about it at the ovr rallycross this weekend.  your words are sound, i don't have any words of my own.  it happened and it sucks and no trite BS covers that a husband has lost his wife and multiple families are suddenly one fewer.

Man I'm so sorry. I never knew her or you, but that sucks no matter what. I hope you can move past and remember the good times. My thoughts to her family.