I'm sorry. This is rough. Some thoughts that have been clunking around in my head all weekend.
I know hardly anyone in rally (and no one on the east coast other than you GRM folk), and it hit pretty hard for me, even. I've spent the whole weekend working hard to prepare my car ready for Rally Colorado this next weekend, and it feels weird. Working so hard to get ready to go do this thing that I can confidently say that I don't want to die doing. I haven't even done it enough to say I love doing it.
A fellow Formula Vee racer died a couple weeks ago in a karting accident. Putting more stickers honoring more dead fellow racers on my racecar is starting to feel... hollow? insufficient?
We've come so far in terms of safety in motorsport that I think it's easy to lose sight of the real risks. I don't know that it's true that we know the dangers--I know enough to say that I don't think I have a good understanding of what the risks are at our level. I race an open-wheel formula car, I fly airplanes, I ride a motorcycle on the street, and I'm trying to rally. I have a pretty good idea that flying light airplanes is relatively safe (especially given that I'm in control of the biggest risks), and a similarly good idea that riding a motorcycle on the street is very unsafe (especially given that I'm not in control of the biggest risks). I don't have a good feel about the motorsports I'm involved in. An open-wheeled formula car built in 1968 probably isn't the safest vehicle. It doesn't have a proper front roll hoop, I sit on a sheet of aluminum, and it's really easy to get an open-wheeled car to roll if you tangle with the car next to you. I've crashed in three of my last four races, none of the incidents were my fault, and it's unclear that I could have avoided them shy of not racing hard.
Rally seems to have an entirely different set of risks, some of which are maybe mitigated by better safety equipment. Of course, I'm cheap, so I have an old car with a grandfathered cage that doesn't meant current safety standards. I have exactly zero information about how less safe this makes my car. It's also an ancient slow car, but I'm sure it goes plenty fast enough to kill me. And the co-driver thing is an even different question. I don't think I'm willing to cede that much control. I'm pretty sure that even if I could talk myself into it that I'd make a terrible co-driver.
I don't want to die motorsporting. But I'm obviously comfortable picking something on the risk/reward curve that involves more risk than sitting on my couch, but probably less than base jumping. I accept that injury and death is a possibility, but I don't think any of us would go do it if we thought it were a *likely* possibility.
Anyway, I doubt that any of this helps, but I wanted to let you know that you've made some points that resounded with me, at least. "Press on Regardless" sounds like a terrible thing to say, here. But also, "Press on with reasonably-considered risk/reward calculations," doesn't have the right ring to it.