Got the pulley off finally. But:
Argh. Looks like two of the puller bolts actually screwed through the timing cover. I think I am just going to cut two of the bolts down and then screw+jbweld them in there to plug the holes. Oil pump is on the other side of the cover.
Agent98 wrote: Thanks nutcell, you are taking one for the team, I have had my eye on these for quite a while. Any reason for a fool to hope that the NA version or a different year might not be a total -soul sucking, wallet draining pile?
The answer to making a reliable R50 Cooper is actually to buy a Mazda2.
For the OP:
I work on all makes and models, and have considerable amounts of Mini experience because at the shop I used to work at, everyone else disliked working on them.
You get really good when they have so many common and ridiculous failure points. 
Just a heads up while you're doing all the work already, when the clutch starts slipping, you have VERY few miles before it just plain won't move the car. The clutch doesn't slip because it goes metal on metal, it slips because the pressure plate physically runs out of travel and no longer clamps the clutch disc. When you separate the engine and trans you'll hear the clutch disc fall into the pressure plate.
Out of the 15+ Mini clutches I've done, only ONE was actually detected as slipping before the car just plain wouldn't move... it was detected by me on a test drive I noticed in 5th gear it would slip with some power applied. The car was getting a replacement engine due to misfires from burnt valves and some suspension crap done, I noticed this on the diagnostic test drive. Told the customer that while the engine is out he'd only be out the cost of clutch parts, with no additional labor. He declined. I did my work, and only put about 3 miles on it being gentle with the clutch so as to not have fingers pointed at ME for it failing.
It was towed back the next day. The guy made it about 20 miles. And I got paid to do it all again.
Uggh. So on the other side of these two holes is of course the oil pump. JB Weld says it withstands 900 psi. Is it safe to just JB Weld these two holes to get them plugged. Nobody has these timing covers in stock, it will take at least a week to a week and a half to get one and I'm sick of this car sitting on jackstands in my garage. Will JB Weld hold long enough to offload this car to the next Mini victim.
Yeah but the car is a jalopy and is it really worth sinking sometimes 3x or 4x the cost into it? It only has to run long enough to get to the burn location.
Wow, can I relate to this. We had a 2006 JCW (35th one made from the factory) and it was so quick and so fun, but fragile. We snapped JCW specific exhaust 3 times, the supercharger bypass stuck open and finally the drivers seat broke in the reclined position. To this day I've never driven a car that is as fun zipping around the city, but the thought of owning it off of warranty scared us so we traded for a Boxster. I have a Red Bull MINI now but it's been beat to crap and needs a ground up fixing, but will be great fun some day.
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loosecannon you have an actual Red Bull mini with the fiberglass can and chop top???
When I first jacked up the car a month ago I thought I was going to quick sawzall off the LCA bushings one night and do other stuff later. I didn't expect the car to be sitting on jackstands for so long and have so many problems with this thing. So while I guess I should really order a new timing cover and oil pump, I can't wait 2 weeks to get one, I need to get my trash can out of my friggin garage and take the trash out. I have a mountain of cardboard boxes from parts and tools that has to go out as well. #miniproblems
In the future, I will know to plan 2 months of downtime to change a light bulb or adjust a bolt or do one thing because it will turn into every part breaking on the car along the way.
loosecannon wrote: the thought of owning it off of warranty scared us so we traded for a Boxster.
That is a bold statement.
How about a local welder to patch up the holes? I'd bet it would be reasonable cost, quick and a solid fix
oldtin wrote: How about a local welder to patch up the holes? I'd bet it would be reasonable cost, quick and a solid fix
I suppose I should look into that... This stuff says its good to thousands of PSI and 500 degrees F though...
Wondering about chemical attack at elevated temps. Not sure JB weld can handle a constant splash of hot oil. There's acids in crankcase vapors...now if you used a chunk of that calzone with that marinara sauce stuffed in there....
(I checked that brand of sealer online for reviews, pretty spotty reports from the field...)
My vote= go with the welder, you've gotten this far...
One other thought - if you are going to try to plug those holes maybe you can tap the holes for threads then try to make a plug with your sawed off bolts. Yeah a few bits from the thread tap might get inside the cover...what could go wrong with that?
I'm pretty hardy when it comes to cars keeling over on me but so far that thread is enough to make me think twice about getting an R53...
How much do you want for the car?
Heh...hmm I dunno, I hadn't thought about it. I am quite deep into this thing now. The JB weld cracked off when I was lightly tapping the crank seal in place. So, I broke down and ordered a new timing cover and oil pump, hopefully it comes Tuesday or Wednesday.
There is quite a bit of corrosion around the fuel injectors/retaining clips and fuel rail, so its probably going to need that too but I don't want to deal with it right now.
I can't decide what the wiser move is, sell it and stop the potential ongoing bleeding, or stick with it because I've sunk like $7500 into it in parts and tools now (admittedly a big chunk of that are mods - exhaust header/exhaust/coilovers/wheels&tires) and hope it just doesn't fall apart or show further weak spots anymore.
Thank you so much for sharing this, as it makes me feel so much better about taking a small loss on my 05 R53 and dumping it while everything was still "good" on it. It was a fantastic little car to drive, but when I started adding up all the repairs I "should" do and the labor hours to do so, I got scared....
Well here we are. Its going to be JUNE! I finally got it all together and off jackstands a week ago. And....it passed state inspection/emissions today! Totally amazing lol.
In the intervening time I installed new timing cover/oil pump, ATI super damper, new idler pulley, reassembled everything. Finally after a few months of trying I was able to get the lower control arms back on using a 2 foot screwdriver to pry forward in the opposite logical direction. Filled it with fluids, bleeding the cooling system was actually uneventful.
I still have to do the fuel filter and I have a skid plate to install under the front. But the subframe bolt holes need to be retapped for that. I have the tap. I've just kind of lost the willpower to work on this car any more. Still has rattles that need to be tracked down and solved.
My eye's been wandering. Right now I've been getting pretty interested in either a 650i or like an old 99 996 C2 as they are dirt cheap. Want more of that GT feel. I guess all cars come with their white knuckle nerve wracking issues.
This thing though...I have PTSD that if I jack it up just to retap 4 holes and bolt a skid plate on that it is going to turn into another 6 month project of rebuilding something. I'm sure something fell off or broke while it was sitting on the jackstands in my garage, even while not moving it...atrophies. Oh yeah there is something I noticed while driving to the inspection station - it seems like a fair bit of heat is "wafting" in somewhere down near the shift boot but not from the shift boot, I thought coming in off the exhaust manifold somewhere but I'm thinking it might be heater core related. So there is something that atrophied to track down.
I think I may have figured it out. I think what it is is that Mini lives in cat years. Because in cat years my Mini would now be 73 which would make sense...its elderly and needs lots of hospital visits and care and the death panel hasn't voted to let it die yet. It all makes sense now....
Hi. So,I know this is an olllld post, but I just had to let you know that I loved reading it and the battles you went through. Not that I enjoyed the frustrations you had(I feel for you there) but that I'm not the only one that's gone through this circus ring of fire. Lol. I have just about rebuilt our R53, everything from the simple wipers down to the clutch. I've done control arms, tie rods, both CV axles, crank pulley, tensioner pulley, supercharger pulley,timing chain(twice) cam sensor, cooling hoses, thermostat, heater core, water pump, supercharger,clutch slave(like a million times)clutch master ,bypass valve, coolant reservoir,map sensor,coolant sensor, last major thing was the clutch. Switched to the valeo clutch conversion kit. And with all that stuff, I'd say only 20% of it was stress and problem free. I had the car up on stands for probably 3 months at one point. And not to mention, that I'm not even a mechanic! Never worked on cars. Plus I was always a Chevy girl and when I got my first e60,I told myself I was going to have to learn how to work on it since they're known for breaking down. LOL. So I did. Then went and bought an R53. I've done and learned most things on the mini. But I will say, that mini sure is FUN AS HELL, when it's driving! Well thanks for making me laugh. Hope I haven't offended you in anyway.
Having taken on Mini ownership, your pain was my relief. I've done a bit of work on mine and suffered some of the same challenges. Mine was bought as a project car, so I don't get too worked up about the project part of it.
Of you are still around OP, I'd love to hear an exhaust clip. That's the setup I would like on my Mini.
In reply to BradLTL :
Two R53 threads...
You two guys are why I took the MINI plunge. I went R56 MCS because I couldn't find a supercharged R53 around where I live that wasn't a rust bucket or totally ragged out from having the lips driven off it. There's a thread on here outlying the start of my journey. I'm sure it will sound familiar to you.
Mine still needs a flex pipe and front struts to safety, and then it will no doubt be relegated to part-time fun car/part-time project car.
After living with Boxster for the last 9 years, I figured it was about time to go down the BMW rabbit hole too.
In reply to BoxsterSteve :
Why is it former Porsche owners end up with Minis? That's weird.
I wanted a project car, and needed one that could haul its own luggage to the track. A hatchback made a lot of sense.
I love mine. I actually didn't find tearing down the front end of an R53 all that bad. The first time was slow because I was learning and being over organized. The second time it took less than 45 minutes to strip off and about the same to put back.
Now I'm about to do the poor man's BBK. That should be an interesting project.
In reply to BradLTL :
I'm not a former Porsche owner, it's still in the garage.
SWMBO told me I should pick up the R56. She said it's such a timeless car and she's not ready for me to part with it yet.
Yeah, she's a keeper for sure.
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