You Learn a Lot About a Car When you Ruin it

Hi! Hey! How are ya? How've you been? It's been a while, I know. I haven't gone anywhere, but it has been a couple months since my last post.

Oh. Or like 13 years. Oops.

Well then. This is awkward.

Oh, would you like a drink? Yeah, I have milk, and I can put ice in it for you. Good choice.

OK, so when we last talked, I think I was on Miata number 1, I might have had my Viper, and I was doing a lot of competitive motorsports. Time Trials mostly. I ended up going through four Miatas, including one Spec Miata that I did a race school in about 10 years ago, but life changed and I sold that, and it was a while before I got back into it.

A couple years ago, I decided I needed to get back into racing. I was dead-set on getting Miata #5, but a friend suggested I try something different, and so I went way off the rails and picked up a 2003 Audi A4 Avant (that's a wagon). It had the 1.8t engine, which I loved as a kid, and a 5-speed manual transmission. AWD, too, which was going to be new for me. I paid somewhere around $2,000 for it, but man, did it need work. I thought the idea of using an Audi station wagon for racing was hilarious, but it ended up making me an Audi guy in the end.

I tried out different motorsports as part of a YouTube series I tried filming, and so I got to try out Autocross again for the first time in ages, and I did a couple HPDEs with it. The trouble was that the engine was blown up. AMB engine code A4s shatter cylinder heads for some reason. Mine was cracked between all 5 valves in each cylinder. So, I rebuilt the top end!

The first track day I took it to was at Summit Point Raceway in WV. The big brakes caught fire in two laps. Remedied with new pads for the next outing.

Then it was overheating. Oil pressure would drop out, too. It kept not-finishing track days.

So I pulled the engine and cooling system and rebuilt it. I did one lap at SPR again, but I had forgotten to replace the coolant tank cap! Blew the engine up. Almost gave up on it. But what happened? Well, I got lucky. When I took it apart like 9 months later, I discovered that all I had done was warp the head, but I didn't damage anything else seriously. The head that I had put on there was absolute trash (a reman from Autozone). So I went to a junk yard, yanked one off a Passat, and had that rebuilt. Now the thing runs great! I've got good brakes, a good enough motor, and... oh... an airbag light. Race car time!

I've documented this build pretty thoroughly over on Audizine (they've been a tremendous resource for helping me figure out just how the heck this thing works over the years). But I'll try to bring that here. At the time of this writing, I'm aiming to get the car into the SCCA STU class. With the tremendous help of some friends and my dad, I now have what I think is a complete and legal cage that we fabricated from like 6 tubes of 1.5" .090 DOM steel. It's been a super fun process, and I am squarely in the build-don't-buy camp if you can spare the time to do it.

This picture was taken just before I gutted it in May 2024. The tubing over there is now (mostly) a roll cage and some scrap.

5/27/2024 - 6/9/2024

Teardown was fun, but a lot of work. If you want an easy teardown, get an NA Miata. The carpet in this thing was several inches thick of insulation, styrofoam, and... well... carpet... all formed together. So. Many. Airbags.

Thankfully, there's coffee. I'll fill in more of the gaps tomorrow.

Welcome back!

I'll grab my chocolate milk and revisit tomorrow to follow along :)

This will be fun

Excellent thread title, I must say.

6/12/2024

Hippo helped me remove the driver's side doors. Good job, buddy! Then I bent up a V2 main hoop. It fits oh so nice! 

6/17/2024

I needed more material to patch my floor, so I gutted another door. The end result was squarely in the "good enuff" column. I hosed it down with primer and focused on the dash bar removal after that.

I do not know if I could ever get this dash back together with all the fasteners of I had to! I had to move a lot of wires out of the way to make way for the forward tubes, which is the primary reason for doing it. Also that rubber foam needed to go. Weight -1, NVH +4.

Thankfully, I only need to make the car look like it has a dash. 

Progress!

Remember folks, I am mostly copying stuff over from another forum to catch you up. Just documenting the build. So if it looks like I went super fast, it's just because I'm playing catch up. I'll keep documenting this over there, too.

6/19/2024

Good morning! You're probably wondering why I gathered you all here today. Well, so am I. How about some roll cage pictures instead? I spent the evening in question watching True Lies while working on the main hoop, so there was some progress.

While we're on the subject, True Lies was a fantastic movie that I believe to be one of Schwarzenegger's greatest works. If you haven't seen that movie, I suggest you watch it as soon as you can. Perhaps today if you aren't too busy. If you want to watch it now, it's on Hulu. I'll wait for you to return, and then we can discuss it.

In the meantime, I cut some wood blocks to represent the rocker boxes. You can see them in one of the images here. I had a 4 x 4 post that was there to support a hammock in my yard, but I no longer have the hammock and I no longer want to mow around a post, so I repurposed it for roll cage construction. Rest assured, dear reader, that the wood blocks will not be the permanent rocker box solution: I need something lighter than wood, and a hollow steel box will do the trick just fine. Plus, it's rather hard to weld to wood (though, to be fair, I've never really tried).

If I were to compare the step in the process that I was on at this point with the timeline of True Lies, I'd say that I'd like to have been farther ahead than when Dana was being introduced as sort of the rebellious teen, stealing money from Harry's partner, Gib, before taking off on the back of her boyfriend's motorcycle, but it certainly feels like that's where I was at this point. If I consider all the deconstruction that had to happen before I got to this point, though, I do feel like I'm closer to the scene where Harry was trying to give Helen some adventure by giving her the role of Doris and having her meet him in that hotel. After he got bashed in the back of the head by the phone, but just before the terrorists came in through the door to take them both away. I was hoping to be near the nuclear detonation scene by the end of this weekend, both in terms of the timeline and in terms of raw, nail-biting excitement. Pop some popcorn!

Other than cutting the bottoms of the main hoop to their final dimensions, which was a big step, believe me, I was able to move onto mocking up the potential locations for the harness bar. I want the cross bracing to meet the harness bar at the middle of the X that I'll be making so that I don't have three segments for the harness bar if possible. It looks like that's going to be feasible. While I used what I thought to be a piece of scrap steel in the image here, it actually fits quite well and I may end up using it. It just needs to be cleaned up a bit, which steel wool may do.

Trivia: in the bridge scene, where Harry pulls Helen out of the sun roof of the runaway limousine just before it plunges into the Gulf of Mexico, Jamie Lee Curtis' screaming and fear were real, and were not just her masterful acting. They actually pulled her from the car onto a helicopter, and it was not, in fact, a stunt double or a green screen.

Hope you didn't forget the fact that German cars use a different type of blinker fluid.

Would hate to see all this work go to waste over a silly oversight like that.

You seem to have covered all other points with the list at least.

6/20/2024

In this post, we're going to talk about cross bracing the main hoop.

And also Die Hard.

The SCCA GCR (General Competition Rulebook) states that the main hoop must have a diagonal brace in the main hoop. Most people, it seems, like to install two, making an X. If done right, the harness bar can come right on along and smash right into the middle of the X, thus reducing the number of components needed to span the full width.

But hey. Hold on there cowboy. We're not there yet.

Now, channeling my inner John McClane, I decided to go at this thing in one night until I was covered in blood (mostly my own), and until I had a bad headache. I never got the headache, thankfully, but I was pretty tired by the end of it. I was able to cut the primary diagonal brace, fish mouth it, and tack it in. The secondary diagonal is necessarily comprised of two segments that join along the primary. I was able to get the first component in by the time Die Hard With a Vengeance was over.

You see, I decided to watch the original trilogy in reverse order that night. I love DH3 as a standalone movie because it has the added flare of the ever so talented Samuel L. Jackson playing a lead role alongside Bruce Willis' John McLane. Seeing that I had the endurance to keep pushing, I opted for my favorite DH movie, DH2. Not only does DH2 have a sensational plot, with excellent character development (especially for an action flick), I enjoy movies where snow makes an appearance. This was especially true with the Mid-June heat lingering--watching someone else be cold helps me forget about the heat a bit. 

The cage was coming along well at this point. I got it into the car again to test fit it, and it was still retaining the dimensions I wanted. It's also really well centered. I was worried that the middle of the X would be off of the centerline of the car by a few inches, but it looks dead on.

The next day, l planned to get the second segment of the secondary diagonal brace tacked in, and then work on the harness bar. I'd also planned to complete the DH trilogy by getting into the Nakatomi Tower film. It's often cited negatively for being a bit claustrophobic by critics due to the fact that the whole film takes place inside a single office building, but I disagree with that assessment. While it is indeed claustrophobic, I believe that quality helps draw the viewer into the struggle that McLane is engaged in. It helps you feel like you're there with him.

Piguin said:

Hope you didn't forget the fact that German cars use a different type of blinker fluid.

Would hate to see all this work go to waste over a silly oversight like that.

 

You seem to have covered all other points with the list at least.

It's halogen, right?  Dan made similar inputs into my first Miata build documentation. 

Glad to see I was worried over nothing :)

It is fun getting a new 'chapter' simply by pressing refresh once I finish reading the previous one.

All build threads should have an option to run like this.

Edit: Aaaaand I broke it. Seems like me and my big mouth will have to wait for the next 'chapter'

Piguin said:

Glad to see I was worried over nothing :)

 

It is fun getting a new 'chapter' simply by pressing refresh once I finish reading the previous one.

All build threads should have an option to run like this.

 

Edit: Aaaaand I broke it. Seems like me and my big mouth will have to wait for the next 'chapter'

What have you done! 

(More later )

6/21/2024

Today, we can talk about the light at the end of the tunnel insofar as this main hoop is concerned. Diagonal bracing is cut, tacked in, and looking straight. I also tacked in the harness bar (driver side half), but that will have to be removed so I can weld around the diagonal brace.

It never hurts to plan ahead, and that is what has kept the mistakes to a minimum, and to a manageable magnitude when they do occur. You have to think clearly when you're planning your next move, just like John McClane had to think ahead in Die Hard in order to defeat Hans and his goons.

You see, Hans Gruber had a plan that kept him at least three steps ahead of law enforcement for most of the film. He took hostages, waited a long as possible to start making demands (in order to give his computer expert, Theo, enough time to trip the vault's emergency safeguard), and then led off with classic misdirection by demanding the release of terrorist prisoners around the world. In fact, Gruber wanted money, and the vault had plenty of it, but if law enforcement thought he just wanted his buddies freed, and then later thought he was killed in an accidental explosion, he could walk away Scott free, and rich as hell.

Yippie ki yay.

The hardest part about the job tonight (remember, this was written in June) was getting the harness bar cut right. But that was a matter of patience and taking it one step at a time, just like McClane took on only a pair of terrorists at a time. When you break a large job, like cutting tubes or shooting terrorists, into smaller tasks, the job becomes less daunting. The impossible becomes possible.

Tonight's trivia: Did you know that Die Hard 1 was filmed, almost in its entirety, in Fox Plaza? This building was the headquarters of 20th Century Fox, the distributor of the film itself! 

6/23/2024

I had a couple of hours "last night" to work on the cage. At this point, I need to chop the tacks holding the harness bar in, weld up the cross tubes, reinstall the harness bar, and cut the mirror side of the harness bar and install that. I wanted to make sure my welding skills are as sharp as they're going to be though, so I spent a few hours behind the torch instead, practicing on some short scrap tubes, and watching Live Free or Die Hard.

In the fourth installment of this trilogy of five, John McClane was in way over his head. He finds himself in an era where everything is digital, much like the Weldpro unit I am welding with for this project, and he is unable to comprehend the magnitude of the task at hand by himself. Enter Matt Farrell.

Farrell, played by the highly talented Justin Long, plays a computer scientist whose code was used unwittingly as a component to a digital Fire Storm, which is an act of cyberterrorism that intends to destroy an entire financial system. In this case, the Fire Storm was meant as both a decoy to cover up the real crime, and as a means to accomplish the real crime, which was basically a giant digital heist.

Together, Farrell and McClane uncover the plot by Thomas Gabriel, played by Timothy Olyphant, and put and end to his scheme by shooting (sometimes with bullets, and sometimes with cars), all of his terrorist buddies. McClane finishes of Gabriel by shooting Gabriel in the chest--with Gabriel's own handgun--by grabbing the gun that was being held against McClane's chest as he was being held by Gabriel and pulling the trigger, thus shooting himself in the process.

Yippie ki yay.

Much of my time on task last night was focusing on getting some welding practice with the TIG components of this welder. I will break out the MIG again today, to see which welds are easier, better, and safer. Whichever seems best is what I'll use to weld up the main hoop today so I can finish that off.

I did break out the hammer and beat some 9-inch-long sheet steel into submission--just like how McClane beat the bad guys into submission in Live Free or Die Hard. The sheet steel will be used to support the main hoop on the structure of the car (see images). The driver side fit perfectly, but the passenger side needs a little work to shave down the tube a bit more. Just like how McClane's family relationships always need work.

There is always a sub plot in Die Hard movies where one of McClane's family relationships--historically his marriage with his ex-wife, Holly--is in jeopardy. Often, this family member ends up as one of the hostages, with the notable exception of Die Hard With a Vengence (where Holly did not appear at all). Live Free or Die Hard carried on the tradition of an alienated McClane who must save his family with the introduction of Lucy Gennaro McClane.

Lucy, his daughter, is introduced to the audience as she is cultivating a new relationship with a potential boyfriend (though she seems less into him than he is into her). Her father shows up at the first sign of relationship trouble (the couple working out just how far they're willing to take things), and puts a stop to it. Lucy, obviously frustrated, calls her father "John", a new recurring theme among his kids, as well as a plot device used to show the audience that there is a great deal of history leading up to the dialog here.

Lucy, sharp and quick witted, is captured by Gabriel, and held hostage, but she does make an heroic effort to make this as frustrating as possible for Gabriel, at one point even pulling the trigger of the holstered side arm belonging to Emerson (played by Edoardo Costa), discharging a round squarely into Emerson's foot.

People, if you carry, do yourself and those around you a favor and do not chamber a round. It's bad form, really.

If the landing pads I made work out, then I can make two more for the front hoop. They'll need a little boxing in on the front and back, but they are probably going to do what I need them to do.

Trivia time: did you know that the role of "Washington D.C." was actually played by Baltimore, Maryland? 

(Edit: This post is not part of the build story that I'm copying over piece-by-piece. This is an unanswered question that I've not asked anyone yet.)

I have a question for you all since you're all racers and fans of racing etc. I need to close out the sun roof. The 40+ pound cassette and glass are out, now, and I have an opportunity to try to make an insert out of carbon fiber. Alternatively, for like $30, I can grab a sheet of the thinnest possible Aluminum sheet metal, glob a bunch of schmoo under it, and rivet it to the roof. The carbon fiber path sounds fun, but it's also a ton of work, even for a "simple" thing like a sunroof closeout panel. Here are my thoughts: I'm interested in yours.

The plan is to mount up the glass to a flat surface, foam under it, and slice the foam to form a vertical wall. (Actually, I already did this.) I'd then cover that in fiber glass to make a mold. Then, I'd get one of those carbon fiber kits from someplace like Fiber Glast, gloop a bunch of resin in the mold, and lay the fabric. I thought about doing something cool like... two layers of carbon fiber inside of it (roll it out to get rid of air bubbles), then a layer of paper honeycomb for strength, then one last layer of fabric to seal that in. Then, push it up through the hole in the roof and use the flared edge that I create to bond it to the ceiling of the car.

I don't have a vacuum pump, and I'm not really all that into buying one. I want this to be cheap. Also, I am going to cover the roof of the car in vinyl (or plan to, anyway), so that should factor in. I don't care if this looks great--it just has to prevent rain water from coming in too much and keep me from failing inspection. I once made a test piece of carbon fiber by covering a two-ply sheet in Saran Wrap and piling 10-15 text books on top of it. It was sufficient. If this is that good, I'd be happy.

Alternatively, my time-and-money budgets are not bottomless. I'd like to get the car on the track this year, before the season ends, so that I can test it out before race school in the Spring. So, slapping a sheet of pre-cut Aluminum to the roof seems like a no-brainer. Also... I'm not really all-that-opposed to the look of a bare Aluminum sheet on the roof of a race car.

Teleth me, O' hive mind of the grassroots: what shall I do?

I'd go with the aluminium, er aluminum.

It is not really structural, carbon fiber is niiiiiice but probably a project that will suck a lot of your time that you could use preparing other stuff.

The enemy, perfect, good enough and all that.

Thanks for sharing and welcome back. 

Super cool Project. 

Was your car offered with a metal sunroof anywhere? When I slick-topped my M5 I bought an e39 sunroof from Lithuania for $40.  Stripped it down and welded a 1/8  rod around it to seal up the gap. I was nice because it had the correct roof contour. 

Your aluminium idea should work fine but it will be difficult to get it to match the bi-directional curve of the roof. 

Can't wait to see more progress. 

OjaiM5 said:

Super cool Project. 

Was your car offered with a metal sunroof anywhere? When I slick-topped my M5 I bought an e39 sunroof from Lithuania for $40.  Stripped it down and welded a 1/8  rod around it to seal up the gap. I was nice because it had the correct roof contour. 

Your aluminium idea should work fine but it will be difficult to get it to match the bi-directional curve of the roof. 

Can't wait to see more progress. 

 

It might have been offered that way, but I figure if I throw enough rivets at it, and beat it hard enough with a hammer, it'll contour. This is one of those things where I have to be careful not to get carried away, because it would be an easy thing to do and it would end up parking the car forever while I try to get that one component just right.

I might give the Aluminum (or Aluminum for you non-Americans) a try after all. I had worried that drilling 50 holes around the roof would make it impossible to seal if I wanted to try carbon later, but I still think I am going to do a vinyl covering for those style points, and that'll cover the speed holes anyway. 

6/24/2024

Some days you win, other days you win but it's funnier:

We learned a valuable lesson in things not quite working out the way you planned them on this particular day. We tried to bend the main hoop inward on itself a bit so that it can reach the floor when we remove the rocker boxes. We succeeded, but the bend only occurred on one leg, so it sat at a weird angle. This was because we made the bend by removing the lower segment of the segmented diagonal bar and the harness bar, kind of leaving the left 1/3 of the hoop unsupported. We then pulled it snug with a ratchet strap and welded in a shorter diagonal segment, thus keeping the bar at the newer (but weirder) shape. Obviously, it can't stay like this forever, but as I was considering this fact, I realized that I could take advantage of its temporary weird shape by fixing it later on and kind of leaving it this way for now.

I didn't even have to waste that much material when it was all said and done. I simply cut out the now-shortened cross brace, used that to finish the harness bar (which is shorter than the diagonal), and put in a longer tube like I had in there before. It would eventually return to its original size. It's just like the life of Daniel (Danny) Roman from this night's movie, the Negotiator.

You see, Danny Roman is one of Chicago's most-gifted hostage negotiators. He also has a lead role on the precinct's Disability Fund. It just so happens that the disability fund has come up a bit short in recent months. Danny's partner, Nate, was close to figuring out who was behind the plot, so he was murdered in cold blood. The killer knew Danny was coming to meet with Nate, so the murder happened just before Danny arrived. The scene was set for a framing!

Danny's life takes two steps back:

Danny was investigated by internal affairs. Somebody planted evidence in Danny's house while it was being searched in conjunction with a search warrant. This led to his indictment, and would have led to his arrest. To top it off, the people closest to Danny didn't seem to believe that he was innocent. Even his lawyer gave up on him and told him to make a plea agreement.

Danny takes his life into his own hands:

Danny was left with no choice. He had to prove his innocence, and a court room was not going to be the place to do it, given how he was being set up. He knew that Terence Niebaum, Internal Affairs, had something to do with the plot, so he took that man hostage, along with a few other key people who could lead him to prove his innocence. Just like Danny, I felt like I had no choice but to make the modifications to the main hoop like I did, unless I wanted to be left unable to reach the upper welds on the cage. Something had to be done, and while I may have not made the best choice, I think the choice I made will work out.

Just like how Danny was able to work with the people around him to get himself out of trouble, I resolved to work with the tools that I had. I would cut the lower diagonal out, ratchet strap the cage back to the final dimensions, and remake the lower diagonal (as well as both harness bars). I'd weld most of the main hoop completely, but I'd leave the driver's side harness bar and the driver's side lower diagonal out so that I can flex the hoop while I built the cage to allow it to drop. The lower diagonal and harness bar would be installed near the end, as there is plenty of room for them anyway.

Probably the best solution to this whole thing would have been to simply remove the diagonal and harness bars, weld up everything else on the main hoop, and simply leave the ratchet strap on it. The only setback at this point was a little time to remake those two bars and a little lost material. Not a big deal. Hey, we got the rocker boxes tacked in! I think it was a net-forward gain, especially after gaining some know-how. Don't let stuff like this stop you in your projects! Be like Danny: don't give up, believe in yourself, and take hostages if you have to!

6/26/2024

Good evening gents! I was able to get the main hoop back in shape and get it into the car again. This time, it's tacked to the rocker boxes. It sits in there nice and level, it's planar (meaning there is no twist), and the width is where I want it. Much like how Ferris Bueller was right where he wanted to be on his ninth sick day of the semester.

Have you ever finished watching a movie, and then--there you are 25 years later--you realize that the protagonist in the awesome adventure mischief movie was really just a malevolent narcissist? I'm not suggesting that Bueller didn't deserve a day off, and my gosh, Dean of Students Edward Rooney sure had it out for Bueller in a most-unhealthy manner, but Bueller pulled everybody into his scheme, and I'd suggest that he was even responsible for the destruction of Cameron's father's 1961 Ferrari 250 GT California.

What. You don't believe me? You blame Cameron for it because he was the one who took the car to begin with? Well, yes, Cameron should be held partially responsible, but Bueller manipulated him in almost every way imaginable, completely consistent with Narcissist Personality Disorder.

In fact, Bueller manipulated everybody around him just so that he could go to the Cubs / Braves game. It's not healthy behavior. 

You know what is healthy behavior? Getting that main hoop fixed. I cut out the shortened lower diagonal and remade it. The harness bar can be simply reinstalled, but I will wait on that. I will also refrain from installing the lower diagonal. This will give me some much needed flexibility for later. The hoop is tacked to the rocker boxes, and I started looking at how to do the front hoop next. I think I can keep it high and tight against the roof line and A Pillar because the body just seems to be shaped to accept to cage tubing! 

Trivia time: in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, the trio actually did go to a real baseball game to film that scene. It is believed to be the June 5, 1985 Cubs / Braves game, which the Cubs lost 4-2 in 11 innings. 

6/30/2024

Oh! Hi! I didn't see you come in again. I'm glad you're here. Please, make yourself comfortable. Can I get you anything? I have beer, wine, and Coke products. And of course, milk. I even bought chocolate this time.

Chocolate milk? No problem. And yes, I have plenty of ice. Give me a second.

Alright, now that we're all set, I'd like to talk to you about the roll cage progression.

And also Taco Bell's Cheez-It Tostada.

You see, Taco Bell is always looking for ways to innovate inside the Mexican cuisine, fast food restaurant space. Partnering with other groups is one way to do it! With so many partner options, from Doritos to Mountain Dew, there are many ways to innovate. However, only so many of them have the potential to become hits. By partnering with Cheez-It, Taco Bell knocked it out of the park!

It all starts with a solid foundation. In this case, we're talking about a monstrous Cheez-It cracker. Much like how a roll cage needs a solid chassis to mount to, the filling and toppings of the Cheez-It Tostada require a solid, cheesy base. Cheez-It delivers. As you build up layers of toppings, you end up with a complete product, just like we are closing in on a finished roll cage.

This weekend, I was able to call in a few friends and my dad, and supply them with food and refreshments, and we just went to town on this rig. We landed a pair of forward tubes, reinforced the landing spot for the rear mains, and bent up and installed a nice windshield bar. We rounded off the weekend by getting the dash back in the car for mockup purposes. Seriously, this wouldn't be as fun or successful without their help and guidance!

Sometimes, a product, like the Cheez-It Tostada, becomes a success by doing one or two key things right. Just like how the Cheez-It Tostada became a hit with the substitution of a Cheez-It for the traditional (and frankly boring, by today's standards) tortilla; I think we found two key tricks that are going to make this cage a little extra special, and I wanted to talk about them here.

First and foremost, I wanted to get the forward tubes to land in front of the A pillar. This car has small door openings, and you don't notice until you try to hop out of a containment seat with a helmet on without kicking the bars and falling on your face. Landing the bars forward of the A pillar does three things in my view: 1.) it gets the bars out of the way, 2.) it pushes the knee bar forward so that it doesn't interfere with your legs, and 3.) it just looks good.

Would you like another glass of chocolate milk? Sure. I'll get some now. Hang on a sec.

Now, it isn't always possible or desirable to do this. Some cars don't have space to work, and this necessitates a design that drops the bars sooner. Some drivers or series don't want to modify the dash pad, either. That brings me to the second thing that we did that I think was kind of neat.

I want a nice, clean descent through the dash pad for the tubes. I would like the tubes to look like they were dropped through a single hole on each side of the dash without chunks missing. This is another thing that may not be possible depending on your car. So, we marked out the cuts on the sides of the dash pad that needed to be cut, peeled back the soft "leatherette" top, and hacked away a bunch of structure below with an angle grinder. I will pull it back out this week, and make a simple slice through the pad, to each side, and cut a nice, neat hole. I'll just wrap it around the bars, then, and hide the slice. (Future me, here... I still haven't done this and it's September.)

If that doesn't ultimately work, I'll hack it to bits with a saw.

No need to worry about that. I think that, just like the Taco Bell Cheez-It Tostada, this plan is going to work beautifully. It just goes to show you: a little imagination goes a long way!

7/02/2024

OK, time for a quicker-to-write and less bizarre update. Regular shenanigans will return soon, but this time, I wanted to share some wisdom that might help future race car builders who read this otherwise nonsensical slurry of silly. This is the removal of the underlay, or that material that is both tar-like and rock-solid at the same time somehow.

What is underlay?

Well, the underlay seems to be there to reduce NVH (Noise Vibration Harshness). It's a hard and gooey mat of material on the floor of your car that dampens vibrations. It's also apparently placed in a way that allows it to overlap seams, so it probably prevents squeaking there too. 

Why do racers hate it?

We don't hate it. We hate weight. A lot. If I can cut it, burn it, drill it, or smash it out of my race car; or otherwise make something that exists--that I don't like--not exist anymore, I will make it not be in the car. Also, you can't weld to this stuff, and I'm pretty sure I don't want to be near it if there is fire around.

What did the underlay ever do to you?

I told you this wasn't going to be silly. Don't ask silly questions. 

Why did you make a post about underlay? Just remove it and be done with it.

This stuff is tough to remove! It seems to be rock solid, but it could also just be an absolutely ghastly-viscous fluid. If you grind it, it makes a mess and takes forever. If you try to scrape it, you'll be at it forever. It's really tough, and scrapers are hard to get under it. This stuff was meant to last all the way into the big grinder at the recycler. I'm not even sure how they deal with it there, because they'll have chips of metal with this stuff stuck to them. Maybe they just burn it.

The best way to remove it is with dry ice (that's Martian Snow for you astrophysists out there). That's what I did, and the results were better than I expected. What I want you to take away from this is the importance of the dry ice and maybe a few lessons learned.

1.) Don't just dump it all in at once. Pick two sections, cover them well with perhaps Aluminum foil (Aluminum foil for my non-American friends out there), and the keep the rest of your dry ice in a cooler. I dumped it everywhere at once and some sections evaporated before I got to them. Just freeze the section you're ready to work on. 

2.) Be smart. This stuff isn't just cold enough to burn you, it's also toxic. It can kill you. It probably won't burn you or poison you, but keep in mind that you'll be working with it inside a car. That's an enclosed space with a solid poison that is turning into gaseous poison as quickly as physics allows. You also may be wearing safety gear and things which may limit your peripheral visibility... make sure you don't sit on the stuff.

3.) When baking, consider this change when dealing with butter. Instead of softening it for cookies or brownies, melt it instead, completely. Do this on the stove. Don't stop the second it melts, though. Continue on until it turns a nutmeg brown color. This will enhance the overall flavor of the cookies by bringing sort of a nutty, caramelized flavor into them.

4.) Be patient. But go quickly. Kind of a fast slow. Give it time to freeze the underlay, but not so much time that the stuff in your cooler evaporates. I had a cardboard box, not a cooler. But this works too.

5.) Use the right tools. I thought a straight up hammer would work, but light impacts did nothing, and heavy blows would damage the car. So I got my air hammer, a chisel attachment, and went to town. This was the best strategy I could come up with. 

Where do I find dry ice?

Well, the internet will have you believe that it's EVERYWHERE! Grocery stores, hardware stores, every welding supply shop, Walmart... pick a business! They sell dry ice!

Nope.

If you live in the country, like me, none of those places have it. None of them.

Just Google for a dry ice store and call around. I had to go pretty far from home to get it, but that just meant I could get it on my way home from work.

How much do I need and how much does it cost?

I used 15 pounds. That's a nice load of pellets in a 10 inch cube box. I would use 25 or more if I did it again, but 15 was enough.

Where I got it, it was $3.00 per pound if you bought 10 pounds or more. It is not expensive.

How much time did you save?

A lot. The colder it gets, the more brittle it gets. The air chisel gets under it and it just explodes in chunks. I did 90% of the underlay in 10 minutes. The other 10% took another hour or more. The other 10% was not well frozen due to slopes or a lack of coverage in general. Running the air chisel through that takes effort and feels like running through a smear of bubble gum.

I hope this was coherent and helpful! Happy chipping!