2009 Infiniti FX50S

Thank you for being the first to us the word "MILF" in a car review, next up "Cougar", and not one of Mercury fame.

LOL I was wondering if I was the only one that saw that. GRM you may want to look up MILF in the slang dictionary. Better yet just google it. WARNING the results will be NSFW!!!!

I have to admit, I've utterly failed to "get" the FX series since its very inception. Nothing since the 1974 Lincoln Continental has a vehicle taken up so much of the Earth's precious resources to build while offering so little functional cabin space in return.

The FX looks exactly like a massively over-weight, over-saloned housewife on her way to Curves with spandex stretched over her fat ass. Which is kind of ironic, because as far as I can tell, they are designed for no other reason than to be bought by douchebags as a present for his mistress-turned-trophy-wife after he dumps the older, fatter one during his midlife crisis.

The Infiniti FX50S is a bit of an enigma. By all rights, this car--if you can call it a car--shouldn’t really exist. Technically, I suppose it’s a “crossover” vehicle due to its five doors and tall stance. However, there’s really not that much of a wayback, and the seating position is more sporty than utilitarian. It’s really more of a jacked-up sedan, or a sport utility vehicle with little utility.

There is, however, plenty of sport. What the FX lacks in usefulness it more than makes up for in sheer dynamic goodness. Driving this, um, vehicle is simply more delightful than it has any right to be.

Part of the credit obviously goes to the 390-horsepower V8. It makes all the right noises as it propels the 4600-plus-pound AWD FX from a standing start to 60 mph in just five seconds flat. Not so long ago, that was supercar territory. When neighborhood MILFs have access to performance like that, it’s a crazy world indeed.

Infiniti’s seven-speed automatic is also controllable via a sport mode. This mode gives the driver access to gear changes through either the stick or a set of nicely positioned and weighted paddles. Though the car is a true automatic, its manual shifting is crisp and well timed. The handling is superb, and that’s not a qualified description. Though the limits are obviously not as high as those of a more low-profile sedan, the handling is amazingly composed and responsive, making aggressive driving a pleasure rather than a novelty.

The big question: “Why?” Hey, why not? Sure, it nudges $70,000, but it's pretty darn cool. Think of the FX50S as less of a sport-ute and more of a sport sedan that gives you a good view above the rest of traffic.