Bolus & Snopes, Ltd. to enter $2016 Challenge

Ovid_and_Flem wrote: As Ovid, IV, Esq. continued to wash the exterior of the muddy mess, to his dismay it was becoming apparent that he had not hit the automotive lottery in recovering the rare Pegasus custom truck and his dreams of early retirement in Bali or even Biloxi were fading. <img src="" />

Y'know, brakes would probably be a good thing.

jstein77 wrote:

Ovid_and_Flem wrote: As Ovid, IV, Esq. continued to wash the exterior of the muddy mess, to his dismay it was becoming apparent that he had not hit the automotive lottery in recovering the rare Pegasus custom truck and his dreams of early retirement in Bali or even Biloxi were fading. <img src="" />

Y'know, brakes would probably be a good thing.

Nah....too much drag.

In reply to Ovid_and_Flem:

Great Odin's Raven, this is ON!!!

Ovid, IV, Esq, took a deep breath as he pulled in the driveway of Flem 3s abode. My how times have changed for his buddy since his nuptial committment. Gone were the days of a yard full of used up race cars, bass boats and the errant Harley pan head were the landscaping theme. In its place were boxwood shrubs, a variety of blooming perennials and two HOA approved Bradford pear trees to disguise the fact that this new McMansion suburb was once some farmer's soy bean field.

Ovid, IV, Esq. Was greeted at the door by Flem 3s younger teen progeny and led to the den where he was quietly watching television with the sound almost muted. Ovid, IV, Esq. took in the scene. The home had a decidely feminine touch decorated with bric a brac and silk flower arrangements and other seemingly useless items. On the coffee table were the latest issues of Architectural Digest, Southern Living and Better Homes and Gardens. Gone were automotive magazines and reloading manuals and the cam timing degree wheels and disassembled carbs that occupied his premarital residence. Gone was the 40 gallon plastic trash can overflowing with empty beer cans.

Ovid IV, Esq. almost startled Flem 3 when he asked "What cha watching...there's a rerun of the 1976 daytona race on ESPN CLassic." Ovid IV, Esq. could clearly see the tv was tuned to some home improvement network. He just wanted to engage his old friend.

Flem 3 looked UP and explained SWMBO nad programmed the remote so that ALL he could watch was home improvement and cooking shows. SWMBO refused to give tim the parental control codes.

Flem 3 had what many refer to aš the 1,000 yard stare. That blank gaze of shell shocked men who had been through too many battles at Home Depot paint departmens trying to feign interest on Saturday mornings in a skirmish to the death over whether the guešt room should be painted Irish Mist or Seafoam Serenity. Or the entanglements at Whole Foods over whether cous cous or jasmine riče should be the side dish at the impending dinner party for her Junior League friends.

This was gonna be harder than he imagined. But he had to do it because Flem 3 was one of the finest Torque Wrench Supervisors ever to turn a wrench. Ovid owed it to Flem 3 and he owed it to automotive enthusiasts the world over.

Ovid, IV, Esq. could not help thinking in this setting Flem 3 bore a strong resemblance to Randall P. McMurphy post-lobotomy in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest." Rather than doing like the big injun and putting him out of his misery, Ovid, IV, Esq. decided to take on the mission of resurrecting Flem 3's soul and spirit beginning slowly telling him about the short stack at IHOP and the sinkhole and the appearance in situ of the plastic exotic and the ruckus it caused among the automotive enthusiasts in the area. Slowly the spark began to come back in his eyes and he threw down the TV remote, lept out of his chair and announced "IT'S AN OMEN>>>IT'S FATE>>>I HAVE A MISSION NOW."

Arriving at the Bolus & Snopes well equipped race shop, Flem 3 began to circle the composite carcus methodically. He observed that the 4 tires on the old C4 were of 3 different brands and 4 different sizes and concluded "we may have something special here...obviously a competition car or test mule of some sort apparently lost during track testing wedge and roll out combinations."

Finally Flem 3 hooked up the battery charger and tried to strat the beast. No joy....it would turn over but not fire. A strategic shot of ether and it popped off but stopped after a few seconds. Filters and socks and fresh gas (and a replaced 10 amp fuse...the man is a genius) later and the C4 came to life but would not idle and stumbled badly with no throttle response. Though he had never worked on the highly complex TPI F.I. preferring the purity of carbeurators, Flem 3 threw caution to the wind and tore into the brittle wiring.

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After HOURS of mechanical investigation he discovered the major problem. THE CAR WAS A NESTING DESTINATION FOR HUNDREDS OF DIRT DAUBERS

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This just keeps getting better. Thanks for the update.

Moar.

We must apologize for the dearth of updates but Flem 3 has been busy attacking the restoration of the piece of e36 M3 C4 and Ovid, IV, Esq. has been embroiled in litigation surrounding the Beast.

As to Flem 3's efforts:

After struggling with the highly complex and sophisticated 25 year old fuel injection system, Flem 3 diligently set about studying all information available on the interweb. But time spent in proximity to the car was perilously dangerous to his respiratory health. It seems that a large family of wild raccoons or possibly a herd of feral cats had taken up residence in the once luxuriously appointed interior and, shall we say, had left their "mark." So with the proper safety equipment and hazmat suits, the task of proper environmental waste site disposal began. As to the fuel injection system all had finally been painstakingly sorted with care given to preserve for posterity the myriad of brittle near 30 year old wiring harnesses. The old gal seemingly was running better, but Flem 3 was unsuccessful in getting it to stabilize. After a 5 solid day troubleshooting marathon, Flem 3 discovered that Ovid, IV, Esq. in a effort to lighten the load, had discarded the Electronic Spark Control module thinking it was a heater fan relay. Once the requisite section of the wiring loom was repaired and the ESC module was rescued from the trash heap the car ran flawlessly if not a bit stubborn when cold. Henceforth, Ovid, IV, Esq. was banned from parts stripping on the old gal.

But it was just as well as Ovid, IV, Esq. had to contend with the curious masses of onlookers arriving from far and wide to bask in the glory of Flem 3's efforts to bring this rare exotic back to life.

And then it happened....something that would ultimately lead to solving the mystery of this automotive icon.

They arrived in two new black Suburbans with dark tinted windows. From these transports emerged five men and one woman wearing sunglasses and all dressed in black business suits. The woman, obviously SWMBO in the group, announced they were there to take possession of the vehicle immediately as the as yet unidentified company she represented was the lawful owner of the composite carcass. No other explanation....just a stern unsupported statement of ownership.

Fortunately the curious on lookers rose to defend Ovid and Flem and their hostility was evident as the six intruders scrambled promptly to their vehicles and left post-haste. As they were leaving, Ovid, IV, Esq. observed the license tags on the Suburbans were manufacturer tags....from Kentucky.

That was strange.

Having sorted the electrical/mechanical to the best of his ability, Flem 3 turned his attention to restoration of the body and cosmetics. As with any such project the dilemma existed as to whether to "over-restore" it to better than factoy new or to bring it back as a "survivor" to preserve historical provenance. The decision was made by the team to go the survivor route repairing only the most critical damaged areas. First, many body panels would have to be fabricated as patches, Seeking sources for similar composite materials, Flem 3 discovered a readily available material in a neighbors trash bin. Not believing his luck as the raw material carried with it a texture almost identical to the vintage orange peal factory paint, Flem 3 began fabricating patch panels.

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Before undertaking the body work, Flem 3 had to assure the car was clean. He set about giving the body a thorough pressure washing only to discover what he thought was the original paint was actually some type of protective coating and there was something quite unique underneath. A paint scheme obviously from a vintage race car of some sort.

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What was this vintage livery???? He raced to call Ovid, Iv, Esq. to tell him of his discovery. Unfortunately he was in Court arguing with the Black Suite brigade.

Love this! Keep it up!

If this turns out to be a Corvette Challenge car, I will be suitably impressed.

Javelin wrote: If this turns out to be a Corvette Challenge car, I will be suitably impressed.

Hmmmm....don't know about that but I think it would be safe to say it's a CHALLENGED corvette

Then I guess it would be a Challenged Corvette Challenge GRM Challenge Challenger.

Wait! What about the black suits???? Court? Arguing? I am on the edge of my seat

My bet is MIB. I mean there had to be aliens involved here some how. .

jfryjfry wrote: Wait! What about the black suits???? Court? Arguing? I am on the edge of my seat

Unfortunately the Judge in the ongoing legal battle has issued a gag order for all witnesses, jurors and litigants in that action. We will update as son as that is lifted.

But at this juncture we can reveal the Black Suits were not MIB, but rather corporate attorneys for General Motors.

In other developments, TEAM B & S IS IN NEGOTIATIONS with a MAJOR corporation for a sponsorship of it's GRM $2016 Challenge effort. It promises to bode well for both the team and the event. More as soon as the ink dries on the agreement.

It was a true pleasure to meet you guys this weekend. Hope you had fun at your first Challenge and are already making plans for next year. Not sure if you got a cigar Saturday night. Let me know if you didn't and I will remedy that mistake.

I was pleasantly surprised to see a scholarly looking gentleman walk up to my car during concours and place a T-shirt in the drivers seat. I shall rock it with pride.

Well, the challenge is done for this year and the Judge has lifted the gag order, so its time to wrap up this tale. As it turns out the GM suits argued that the car was the property of GM's corvette museum. You see, some 7 months prior to the IHOP sinkhole in Meridian, another act of nature swallowed up several priceless 'vettes in Bowling Green, Kentucky. Ovid, IV, Esq. was able to bring in evidence that there were 8 that went into Bluegrass state sinkhole and 8 recovered. And only one of those was white, the 1,000,000th Corvette produced. Ergo, this could not be property of GM. The Judge telegraphed his agreement with Ovid, IV, Esq. in a sidebar.

The Black suits of GM countered with it was the only way the IHOP vette could possibly be covered in soil indigenous to South Central Kentucky, as showed up in Ovid's own initial forensic evidence, that it was in fact swallowed up a sinkhole in Kentucky and travelled on a subterranean tide of mud due south to Meridian's very own IHOP sinkhole. The Judge seemed a bit impressed if not convinced that this was plausible and could lead one to the conclusion that this WAS the property of GM.

Anticipating this line of legal logic, like a cat Ovid, IV, Esq. pounced on these big city lawyers. As it was getting close to 4:30 in the afternoon and knowing the Judge like clockwork was looking forward to his 5:00 toddy as he had been known to imbibe everyday since 1966 when Mississippi became the last state in the Union to repeal, Prohibition, Ovid SHOCKED the courtroom by conceding that that was exactly what had happened. That it was conclusive evidence that this old C4 was a part of the Corvette Museum collection. He deliberately paused for effect holding his index finge in the air with his mouth open as if he wee going to say something but no wods came. The courtroom spectator section leaned forward in anticipation, The Black suits leaned in straining to hear. The Judge leaned in to see the courtroom clock as to how close it was to 5:00.....

Ovid waiting until he could see the beads of of sweat forming on the Judge's forehead and the telltale lip licking of someone craving that first sip of bourbon in the afternoon. With perfect timing Ovid, IV, Esq. advanced his death blow argument.

Since he had admiitted the old car had travelled on a flow of liquid mud, and since everybody agreed it had travelled from Kentucky to Mississippi then the car had to have passed through Tennessee. The GM black suit team was nodding with glee that this country bumpkin barrister was making their case for them. That effectively the old plastic vette had become a boat. With a dynamic perfectly timed conclusion, Ovid cited uncontradicted precedent that the status of ownership would be controlled by maritime law that clearly held that flotsam found on intestate navigable waters were soley the property of the one who recovered the salvage. And that would be hisself.

The clock struck 5:00. The Judge banged his gavel, ruled in Ovid's favor and headed to chambers for a visit with Maker's Mark. The female Black suit wept openly. Ovid joined the judge in chambers to share a toddy....after all they were cousins. As the old adage goes "A good lawyer knows the law...a GREAT lawyer knows the judge."

IN THE BACK OF HIS MIND WAS THE NAGGING QUESTION....WHY WAS THE GM BRASS SO INTERESTED IN THIS E36 M3Y CAR?

petegossett wrote:

Pete..CALL ME...LOST YOUR PHONE NUMBER

You guys were a major part of the event and were fun at the track and the poolside, glad to have met you and I look forward to many more "Toddys" at future events.

Steve (MIB) the Aussie

In reply to Ovid_and_Flem:

Will do!

For anyone else as curious about the history of Bolus & Snopes racing, here's a great article from a 1973 issue of Sports Illustrated that really describes where this team comes from.

The black suited GM dream team did not give up easily. They appealed all the way to the Mississippi Supreme Court only to be repeatedly denied. They then sought a review by the SCOTUS, who refused to certify the case. The long legal battle was finally over and title was finally and fully vested in Team Bolus & Snopes.

At the victory party the ratty old C4 was rolled out to be displayed. One over zealous reveler, a bit unstable on his feet, spilled a full beer in the engine bay. Ovid, IV, Esq. rushed over to clean the mishap and in so doing found a heretofore undiscovered dirt dauber nest on the frame rail covering a simple aluminum plate bearing VIN GS006.Could it be? IT HAD TO BE!!! IT WAS THE LONG LOST SIXTH 1963 C2 GRAND SPORT!

In 1963 Zora Duntov, father of the modern corvette, had secretly built a limited run of highly modified, lightweight corvettes to compete with the Shelby Cobra. He had planned on a homologation run of 125 cars to qualify for FIA production cars. It is said that when GM found out the immediately pull the plug after only 5 had been built. They were sold off to privateer to distance GM from such nefarious endeavors. They faded away being ineligible to compete as production classes. But witnesses at the time claimed there was a sixth car built that GM brass had destroyed. The rumors flew about number six especially when George Wintersteen's number 02 was purchased by the Simeon museuem for a reported $6,000,000.00 in 2009.

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Grand Sport 002 after Watkins Glen race in 1965

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It was clear that GM had cleverly rebodied the coupe version 1963 Grand Sport #006 as a non-descript C4 (one of 358,158 C4's produced) and hid it away at the Bowling Green museum in a conspiracy to cover up its existence.

Only to be reclaimed by the crack Bolus & Snopes team to be unveiled in the greatest, most prestigious international (thanks to Ozzie Steve) motorsport event of the new millennium...THE GRM $2016 CHALLENGE WHERE IT CAME AWAY WITH AN UNPRECEDENTED 20TH PLACE FINISH!!!!

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.....and, Thank God..................THE END