Spec E30 guy here who occasionally drives it on the street "for testing purposes".
My opinions are, well, opinions and won't agree with some of the other E30ists.
I will recommend the SE30 suspension package. These cars are way to tall from the factory (methinks to meet the bumper height rules). The H&Rs are firm but not hateful. Same with the Bilsteins. Ireland sway bars reportedly fit a little nicer than the ST bars and I've been happy with mine. ABSOLUTELY get all the reinforcements for the sway bar attachments, including the weld on tabs for the rear control arm mounts. Not hard to weld on for even an idiot welder like myself and those tabs WILL bend without them.
I have poly bushings pretty much everywhere and don't mind them, though I didn't bother with the diff bushing as it seemed like a lot of money for something that isn't causing me any trouble. Poly engine mounts, too, because I broke one of the flimsy-ass rubber ones autocrossing (granted, they were probably original).
My only shifter mod was a Z3 shift lever. It solved all my sloppy feel issues. Very short and notchy shifts, but you get used to it.
I'll never, ever remove the rear subframe myself again. What a colossal PITA. But you have to to replace the brake hoses.
Braided FTW.
I bought Ireland camber plates for the front but don't like them. I'd get Ground Control if I bought again. The Ireland ones are just kind of hokey. I refuse to install adjusters in the rear because pretty much everyone I race with who added those has had problems with them getting lose, often in very unhappy ways. I'll take the alignment I get and deal with it and finish races vs risking stuff coming apart.
Cherry bomb mufflers, yes. Or just have a piece made to make it all one pipe out the back; probably cheaper.
Strut brace...meh. Have one, don't use it. But then my car has a cage welded into it.
Stock brakes are totally adequate, just buy good pads.
Ditch the clutch fan and just rewire the a/c fan to run either manually (you can do it with the snowflake button as-is) or from a thermostat. Works fine for me. BMW does make brackets to mount the fan by itself if you yank the a/c.
Offset lower control arm bushings for the front if it's lowered. Drill and add a set screw so they don't twist in the lollipop.
With the spec suspension, the car is an absolute beast on an autocross course. It's like driving a MINI or similar; just point and hit the gas. You'll definitely want a better than stock seat so you don't go flying around the interior. 