I've tried a variety and usually when I get a few hundred ahead the wife claims it for her projects.
In the past I'd just put it on the plastic and pay off the plastic with a commission check.
I've tried the hidden cash deal but I swear she's telegraphic and can read my mind.
She's a great wife but strongly objects to the race car.
Any suggestions?
In reply to frenchyd :
My wife knows I become very restless without the racing. It's much easier to make my wife happy when I'm in a good place, she knows and accepts the racing trade off. Perhaps you need to articulate this to your lovely wife.
A wife that supports your interests? No wife? Making more money?
My wife told me today she wanted to buy me safety gear to help support my hydroplane racing habit.
I guess it's like anything though, you need to budget for it and ideally both parties should agree.
Uh, talk to your wife about each of your hobbies, desires, etc., then work together to support those financially?
Maybe sell drugs? Jewel heist?
In reply to Tom Suddard :
So what your saying is you want Frenchyd to become a pharmaceutical company sales person and if that doesn't work out kidnap a singer? Makes sense to me.
My wife races with us?
Don't know how to answer your question....
Pay day loans and pharmaceutical imports have worked for others
Pay yourself an allowance. Let your wife know and/or participate. That is your money to spend as you choose, no questions or validation. Make it a reasonable amount for your financial position. I pay myself like $250 a month. I can do whatever with that, anything that exceeds that account is a discussion/decision together.
I think my only solution is to open a credit card and have the bill sent to me.
Divorce worked for me, even child support.
In my case my wife and I both work and the deal is that as long as I don't endanger my ability to pay my half of the bills....
Now, there are problems that can come about from too many projects, too much time away from family, etc...
Sell blood plasma? Etsy store? Many many side hustle opportunities.
Did you hear the one about the guy that won the lottery? They asked him what he planned to do with it, and he replied race cars until it was all gone.
Weekend fun job and a separate account was my old plan. Now being divorced with the alimony paid off....game on. No sneaking required.
In my marriage, cars went from being a huge problem early on (would cause arguments), to a blessing/hobby/vacation for our whole family (including our 3 kids, and our extended family). It was not easy, and it took a long time, probably 8 years of marriage. What I can tell you is that if you two don't try really hard and come to an agreement that you're both actually okay with (actually okay with, not "fine, whatever you want to do" kind of okay).
I tried to logically explain to my wife things "How about you get to spend X on yourself, and then I get to spend the same amount on cars". That didn't work at all. She had to "feel" okay with it, and only after that did we really start to agree. Eventually she started to make my hobby a priority, instead of me fighting for it.
After I showed her that we spend less than 1% of our salary on toys/fun (including cars), she became a bit more okay with me spending more. But the pivotal moment was a conversation where I told her that I don't work on cars/race cars to get away from her, and I'd rather her be doing my hobby with me. That made her "feel" better. I'm spending more money on cars, more time on cars, and race more than ever. My wife ran a 70 minute stint in the race car in an endurance race with 60 other cars on track and is now investing in her own gear.
Long story short, moral of the story: if you don't agree and both feel good about it, then I think you'll always be fighting for your own interest and never quite be at peace about it. It's worth investing the effort to come to an agreement.
Lots of people have started doing wood hobby projects during the covid period and you've got piles of nice wood to sell. Do you currently have listings on Craigslist, offerup, Faceplant marketplace, etc?
Do you know why she strongly objects to the race car?
There are plenty of creative ways to "create cash" but maybe getting to the root of her concern would be less nerve wracking.
MaxC said:In my marriage, cars went from being a huge problem early on (would cause arguments), to a blessing/hobby/vacation for our whole family (including our 3 kids, and our extended family). It was not easy, and it took a long time, probably 8 years of marriage. What I can tell you is that if you two don't try really hard and come to an agreement that you're both actually okay with (actually okay with, not "fine, whatever you want to do" kind of okay).
I tried to logically explain to my wife things "How about you get to spend X on yourself, and then I get to spend the same amount on cars". That didn't work at all. She had to "feel" okay with it, and only after that did we really start to agree. Eventually she started to make my hobby a priority, instead of me fighting for it.
After I showed her that we spend less than 1% of our salary on toys/fun (including cars), she became a bit more okay with me spending more. But the pivotal moment was a conversation where I told her that I don't work on cars/race cars to get away from her, and I'd rather her be doing my hobby with me. That made her "feel" better. I'm spending more money on cars, more time on cars, and race more than ever. My wife ran a 70 minute stint in the race car in an endurance race with 60 other cars on track and is now investing in her own gear.
Long story short, moral of the story: if you don't agree and both feel good about it, then I think you'll always be fighting for your own interest and never quite be at peace about it. It's worth investing the effort to come to an agreement.
Well said.
I really love my wife and the feeling is mutual. But she's extremely strong headed. Reason and logic don't seem to work. Fairness doesn't work.
She gets angry if it's not her way it's like she needs to "win" or I don't love her.
I think I'm going to have to just do it and accept the grief.
NOT A TA said:Lots of people have started doing wood hobby projects during the covid period and you've got piles of nice wood to sell. Do you currently have listings on Craigslist, offerup, Faceplant marketplace, etc?
I've really tried to sell my excess wood. I finally found someone who bought beautiful FAS hard maple and paid me .10 cents a bd foot. For 1000+ bd ft. Most of it was 8& 1/2 ft long and 4-12 inches wide slightly over 1 inch thick for the rough and 7/8 thick for the surfaces. Roughly 1/2 of it was surfaced. As a bonus I included 400 bd ft of thins. (Less than 3/4 inch thick).
I've since found a few people who will take ( usually if I deliver it and stack it for them) some wood if I give it free (and throw in delivery ).
Once completely finished with the house I think I'll donate it to Habitat For Humanity.
MaxC said:In my marriage, cars went from being a huge problem early on (would cause arguments), to a blessing/hobby/vacation for our whole family (including our 3 kids, and our extended family). It was not easy, and it took a long time, probably 8 years of marriage. What I can tell you is that if you two don't try really hard and come to an agreement that you're both actually okay with (actually okay with, not "fine, whatever you want to do" kind of okay).
I tried to logically explain to my wife things "How about you get to spend X on yourself, and then I get to spend the same amount on cars". That didn't work at all. She had to "feel" okay with it, and only after that did we really start to agree. Eventually she started to make my hobby a priority, instead of me fighting for it.
After I showed her that we spend less than 1% of our salary on toys/fun (including cars), she became a bit more okay with me spending more. But the pivotal moment was a conversation where I told her that I don't work on cars/race cars to get away from her, and I'd rather her be doing my hobby with me. That made her "feel" better. I'm spending more money on cars, more time on cars, and race more than ever. My wife ran a 70 minute stint in the race car in an endurance race with 60 other cars on track and is now investing in her own gear.
Long story short, moral of the story: if you don't agree and both feel good about it, then I think you'll always be fighting for your own interest and never quite be at peace about it. It's worth investing the effort to come to an agreement.
I've tried all of what you've suggested in the 8 &1/2 years we've been together. We started out with similar incomes but her newest Job pays significantly more than I earn. About 40% more.
She therefore thinks I'm leaning on her. So she should be the boss.
frenchyd said:I've tried all of what you've suggested in the 8 &1/2 years we've been together. We started out with similar incomes but her newest Job pays significantly more than I earn. About 40% more.
She therefore thinks I'm leaning on her. So she should be the boss.
Well there goes my idea. I think the easiest way is to earn significantly more, have "cheap" tastes, and make sure the spending is low enough that it doesn't affect any budget/accounts/etc. I'm only rocking a track Miata and bike, but going racing once a month it still adds up to at least hundreds a month. If I wasn't relatively lucky with my career it'd be a hard sell to the wife.
I'm jealous of the people who's wives get involved, but it seems uncommon amongst almost everyone I know at the track. A few have wives that will come out for part of the day, even fewer have wives that will actively participate.
Maybe it's not actually about the money, assuming you're spending well within your means? Prioritizing, very intentionally, her over my hobbies has led to a better experience all around. Fix the dishwasher before working on the car, go out with her if she is hinting at being bored/sad/etc and install the new part some other time, etcetc.
frenchyd said:MaxC said:In my marriage, cars went from being a huge problem early on (would cause arguments), to a blessing/hobby/vacation for our whole family (including our 3 kids, and our extended family). It was not easy, and it took a long time, probably 8 years of marriage. What I can tell you is that if you two don't try really hard and come to an agreement that you're both actually okay with (actually okay with, not "fine, whatever you want to do" kind of okay).
I tried to logically explain to my wife things "How about you get to spend X on yourself, and then I get to spend the same amount on cars". That didn't work at all. She had to "feel" okay with it, and only after that did we really start to agree. Eventually she started to make my hobby a priority, instead of me fighting for it.
After I showed her that we spend less than 1% of our salary on toys/fun (including cars), she became a bit more okay with me spending more. But the pivotal moment was a conversation where I told her that I don't work on cars/race cars to get away from her, and I'd rather her be doing my hobby with me. That made her "feel" better. I'm spending more money on cars, more time on cars, and race more than ever. My wife ran a 70 minute stint in the race car in an endurance race with 60 other cars on track and is now investing in her own gear.
Long story short, moral of the story: if you don't agree and both feel good about it, then I think you'll always be fighting for your own interest and never quite be at peace about it. It's worth investing the effort to come to an agreement.
Well said.
I really love my wife and the feeling is mutual. But she's extremely strong headed. Reason and logic don't seem to work. Fairness doesn't work.
She gets angry if it's not her way it's like she needs to "win" or I don't love her.
I think I'm going to have to just do it and accept the grief.
Hey man, I'm pretty old fashioned so take this how you will. If one of you "wins" in a marriage and one loses, then you both lose. When you said you're vows it ended with "and now you are one". Old school vows said "unto thee all my worldly goods I pledge". If you look at things as "mine" and "yours" my income, her income, etc. Then I think you're missing the best part of marriage, and that is teamwork, and being all in for each other.
My wife used to earn double what I did, and now she doesn't earn any money. We both have an equal vote on what to do with OUR money.
Really don't mean to sound preachy, so I apologize if it comes off that way. Truly hope it works out for you guys and we all get to go racing.
My wife is my partner, not my mom. I don't ask her permission although I do ask and value her opinion. Cars/racing are part of who I am. I wouldn't give that up for anybody.
We had an agreement a long time ago that as long as the bills are paid and the kids taken care of she doesn't care what I do. We've been married 15 years and she's helped swap multiple transmissions and bled many brakes.
frenchyd said:I think my only solution is to open a credit card and have the bill sent to me.
Paperless billing is the way to go, hypothetically, if this were the case.
I would inquire with her though how she would prefer to utilize funds. Communication is key in any relationship and if you go covert in your funding of the hobby then you possibly lead to the hobby destroying the foundation and trust within your relationship. At the same time, she needs to understand that she's effectively asking you to give up something else that you love that doesn't detract from your commitment and loving of her.
Hear me out.
A lot of people that get to the track are also foodies. And during a track weekend time is tight don't have the opportunity define good places to eat let alone sneak out to them to get them. So imagine a type of trackside catering liaison meets Uber eats.
You would need to research local food oriented businesses find out which ones are perceived as the best by locals, have them put together a limited menu, add 10 to $15 to cost per head. Require pre-orders be done 48 hours in advance and use your tow pig for pick up and delivery of the orders to the paddock. Use the revenue to fund your own entry cost
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