How many here can blame their divorce on cars?

In reply to dculberson :

I get the feeling a lot of people, especially when they hit their 30s, get married so they can tick off the box of "being married", not that they have found someone they love.

I have nothing on this thread, those of you who know my wife know she's into the cars 

Nope. Cars had nothing to do with it. She took a job traveling and teaching and such, getting paid well + constantly being the "expert" and center of attention went to her head and she decided she was too cool for school. I was unhappy as well, so I think I had another place and was moved out of the house in the less than a month.

Finally a few months ago (4 years later) I finally had to block her Facebook, IG, LinkedIn, email addresses, phone number because every few months she would try the "Hey, I miss you. I made a mistake, can we just talk" garbage. 

Current girlfriend doesn't care what I spend my money on, but as she is finishing up school in the spring, I'm waiting to get another fun car until we get some stuff paid off. She where she ends up working, etc.

My wife teases me about my "expensive" hobby and I tease her back about her (recently, at least) more expensive photography hobby. I really picked right though. She bought me a motorcycle just after we got married, and she is the one who found the VW I just bought and told me that I "have to keep this one, even if it just sits for a while." She is the same with my guitars and music stuff.

The only problem I have is that the wife hasn't liked the cars I've picked recently. I bought a Focus ST and she hated it (mostly because of the Recaros it had) and while she likes the Corvette to some degree her first comment on the idea of purchasing it was, "Why don't we just get a Viper instead?" to which I had to reply that the only one I would seriously think about autocrossing cost $70k+ used vs $30k for a used C6 Z06. My actual alternate for the Vette was an E92 M3, which my wife would have preferred greatly.

If I get a divorce from my wife it will not be precipitated by my car habit.

I'd be a bit surprised to hear that someone got a divorce solely over that sort of thing. There are usually other issues at work of which car demands are only the symptom.

While certainly not the sole cause it does play a part in my upcoming divorce.  

My wife suffered thru the double whammy: not only do I play with cars, I worked with them, also.  At a driving class, I made the comment that my tire budget included jewelry.  The instructor said "Listen to him, that's why he's on wife #1, and I'm on #3."  37 years this month.

In reply to car39 :

I'm starting to see a trend here. When one has a hobby that absorbs most of his time and finances, the selfish part of us tends to aggravate underlying issues within a marriage. Interesting. Selflessness goes a long way toward relationships of any kind

dculberson said:

I think a lot of guys get in trouble because they marry someone they don't like and don't get along with. Marriage is optional and who you marry is entirely up to you. Don't marry a jerk and don't marry someone that makes you a jerk. 

QFT.

I didn't include this in my original reply:

My wife does have an influence on the cars I pick. If it isn't a parts car that is going to be gone in a couple of weeks then it needs to be a running car, it doesn't have to be running well but it must be operational.  Basically this comes down to I will want to fix everything right away on a project car or bike but on a runner I will fix things over the course of time.

In reply to Trackmouse :

Strangely enough, a guy at work told me exactly such a story today.

Recent graduate (mechanical engineering... not huge money) gets married. Three weeks later, he buys a brand new Ford Raptor without consulting his wife. A week after that, she was gone for good.

Of all the vehicles to sacrifice a marriage for... a lame-ass frickin' Raptor. SAD.

b13990 said:

In reply to Trackmouse :

Strangely enough, a guy at work told me exactly such a story today.

Recent graduate (mechanical engineering... not huge money) gets married. Three weeks later, he buys a brand new Ford Raptor without consulting his wife. A week after that, she was gone for good.

Of all the vehicles to sacrifice a marriage for... a lame-ass frickin' Raptor. SAD.

If I had to consult my wife over every car purchase, I'd help her pack.  Some things just aren't worth the aggravation.

In reply to AnthonyGS :

that's a house sized purchase, not just any cheap beater.  If you don't consult with your spouse over a purchase that large and you aren't stupid rich, you're the shiny happy person 

I had a neighbor who was a cop.   When he and his wife were married they could not afford a diamond engagement ring so they saved for it.  This was in the 70's.  An nice 3/4 caret diamond ring was about $1200.

Anyway one day he says come over,  want to show you what I bought.  He brings out this really expensive German H/K semi-auto rifle with a really expensive scope on it.  He tells me about the engagement ring money they saved.  Then he told me he decided he needed this rifle more than she needed an engagement ring. He had sped the whole $1200 on the rifle.

They lived in the apartment above me.   He worked the night shift.    Not long after this incident we would hear the bed being pounded into the floor several times a week within a hour of him going to work.     Neighbor cop didn't figure it out for over a year.  No way I was getting into the middle of that mess not to mention him and the wife carried a gun all the time so I was afraid of a stray bullet going through my ceiling and hitting me or my wife.

So this guy got divorced over an expensive rifle.

In reply to jharry3 :

Does he still have the rifle?

Ya know...   Right now I have the cars I do because of my divorce, they certainly didn't cause it.

I hear it is all OK in the end, if it isn't OK it isn't the end.

I made the mistake of paying for new "hood ornaments".  After that she let any driver who looked her way take a turn behind the wheel.

But no, not really car related.

Patrick said:

In reply to AnthonyGS :

 

that's a house sized purchase, not just any cheap beater.  If you don't consult with your spouse over a purchase that large and you aren't stupid rich, you're the shiny happy person 

 

Exactly. I know I would be pissed if I got home and my wife had a $50k anything that she hadn't consulted me on. Finances are intertwined after marriage even if you don't have shared checking accounts.

I don't ask my wife's permission to buy cars, but I do talk about them with her, prior to buying them. And I most certainly would ask permission to buy a $50k truck! Not that I would, that's ridiculous.

Don't care if she's short, don't care if she's fat,

As long as she'll wrench with me, that's where it's at.

Gonna go out and find me a gearhead woman to love.

Not a divorce, but years ago a girlfriend told me if I bought another stupid "toy" car she was leaving me.

I later used that car in my wedding. Still have the car and the wife.

dculberson said:

Patrick said:

In reply to AnthonyGS :

 

that's a house sized purchase, not just any cheap beater.  If you don't consult with your spouse over a purchase that large and you aren't stupid rich, you're the shiny happy person 

 

Exactly. I know I would be pissed if I got home and my wife had a $50k anything that she hadn't consulted me on. Finances are intertwined after marriage even if you don't have shared checking accounts.

I don't ask my wife's permission to buy cars, but I do talk about them with her, prior to buying them. And I most certainly would ask permission to buy a $50k truck! Not that I would, that's ridiculous.

That's what I was thinking. If I can afford it and I want it, I'll do it. But I do discuss things with her first. 

Well I will qualify my response by saying I am 73 and have been married for over 50 years. From day one our finances were combined and we talk about all expenditures beyond the day to day costs of living. I have interests in cars and sailboats and currently have two specialty cars and  a recently purchased project. My wife participates in my interests even though it's not completely her thing. My wife has interests I participate in even though they are not my thing. 
 

I would be embarrassed to admit I was divorced because of a car, boat, etc. I suspect if everyone was honest the material things were the least of the problem. There are some people that should never be married that are too me oriented, controlling, selfish, etc. And others who married for all the wrong reasons, last of their single group, no common interests, lust, etc.  Money is often the cause when one or the other is not being responsible.

It's often said marriage is a 50/50 proposition. Nothing could be farther from the truth, 50/50 is on the best days. Other times it's 60/40, 40/60, 90/10, 10/90 and yes 100/0 and 0/100. Both parts of the couple have to have the maturity, persistence to hang in there during those times, admit when they are wrong, apologize and then forget and move on. 
 

My opinion, your mileage may vary.

AnthonyGS said: If I had to consult my wife over every car purchase, I'd help her pack.  Some things just aren't worth the aggravation.

I agree, to a point. When the car I bought new for $20,000 and drove 10 years got destroyed in a wreck, I replaced it with a $27,000 car and the discussion was simply "I'm going to buy a new car tomorrow... any thoughts? No?"

Buying a Raptor right out of college, though, is pretty much signing your whole family up for 72 months of Armour Hot Dogs.

NickD said:

Can't get divorced if you haven't been married. Wait, this sounds more like a sad confession than a win. I can say honestly say that cars ahve not been the reason my relationships have failed, though

I can say that I blame cars on failed relationships.  I didn't go all gung-ho into track days and drag racing and TSDs and autocross and rallycross until after I gave up on dating.

Mind you, I was a car guy back when I was engaged to the awesomest girl ever, and dating some other ones too... but I didn't really go gung-ho on it until that whole relationships thing was out of my system.

pirate said:

Well I will qualify my response by saying I am 73 and have been married for over 50 years. From day one our finances were combined and we talk about all expenditures beyond the day to day costs of living. I have interests in cars and sailboats and currently have two specialty cars and  a recently purchased project. My wife participates in my interests even though it's not completely her thing. My wife has interests I participate in even though they are not my thing. 
 

I would be embarrassed to admit I was divorced because of a car, boat, etc. I suspect if everyone was honest the material things were the least of the problem. There are some people that should never be married that are too me oriented, controlling, selfish, etc. And others who married for all the wrong reasons, last of their single group, no common interests, lust, etc.  Money is often the cause when one or the other is not being responsible.

It's often said marriage is a 50/50 proposition. Nothing could be farther from the truth, 50/50 is on the best days. Other times it's 60/40, 40/60, 90/10, 10/90 and yes 100/0 and 0/100. Both parts of the couple have to have the maturity, persistence to hang in there during those times, admit when they are wrong, apologize and then forget and move on. 
 

My opinion, your mileage may vary.

Could not have said it any better my well traveled friend,,,,,,thankyou