1s1fiero:
There seems to be enough in your initial post to indicate you want to do (and are doing) many of the right things, and want to get better.
What would make the dealership experience excellent for me would to avoid the "bait and switch." It has been more than a decade since I personally purchased a vehicle from a dealership, and had already known the salesperson in advance of the purchase. This is just one of many advantages of small town life.
My younger son lives in the Phoenix area, is a college graduate, and has been with his present employer more than a year. Recently, he decided to look into the lease or purchase of a new, performance model of a specific european badge. He did a lot of his inquiring on the internet, and finally made a deal that involved a 3-year lease, with his used vehicle as the down payment. On the Thursday before the Memorial Day weekend, he went to the dealership, signed the paperwork including limited power of attorney forms, left his used vehicle, was told by the salesperson that he "was good to go", and drove away in the new vehicle.
The following Tuesday, the dealership's finance manager left him a telephone message stating that he had to come back to the dealership, as the lender did not approve the lease transaction. The purpose of him returning to the dealership was to "get him in a less expensive vehicle" or to obtain a co-singer (e.g., me) for this transaction. Before he returned the finance guy's call, my son telephoned me. I told him to call the finance manager back, and know exactly where you stand before you (and the new car) go back to the lot. He left a message for the finance manager to call him back. To my son's credit, once this transaction appeared to be unraveling, he parked the new car and car-pooled with his fiancee until this was worked out.
That following Saturday, the finance manager, my son, and I had a 3-way telephone conversation. What it essentially boiled down to was that even though he was able to drive off with the new car, and leave his used one, the finance manager said that this was all subject to lender approval, which was withheld. To resolve this, he had to either get a less expensive car, or obtain a suitable co-signer. There was absolutely nothing else in the dealer's inventory that was suitable to him, and I really didn't want to co-sign with people that weren't up front with my son. The conversation concluded with us resolving to return the new car and have his used car returned to him. After washing the car and topping off the gas tank, that same day, my son returned the new car to the dealership, and had his old car returned to him. All the paperwork was voided.
In retrospect, I think the salesman and finance manager knew exactly where this transaction was going when my son took delivery of the new car.
I spoke with the CEO of a local credit union (I serve as a volunteer board member) about this, and he said that this is widespread. He also related that sometimes, the dealer will quickly dispose of the trade-in to further limit the customer's options.
To my antiquated way of thinking, delivery of the vehicle should occur only after all the "i's" are dotted, and the "t's" are crossed.
Jerry