My first attempt at a car review --- Chevy Spark

Thursday morning, I awoke to the joys of a blown head-gasket on the daily. Being a holiday weekend, I was going to need some wheels.

So I hopped online and reserved a Ford Focus, "or similar", through my local Hertz location. Being short-notice right before a holiday, I ended up with the "or similar". A 2014 Chevy Spark, resplendent in its bright red Krylon paint.

The guy at the rental office was super-cool, and the entire process was MUCH less painful than my experiences with Enterprise. Until we walked out to my chariot for the next few days.

ME --- What the Hell happened to the front-end of this thing???

RENTAL GUY --- I didn't design it, I just hand the keys over, and laugh at people who have to drive away in it.

Like I said, the rental guy was pretty cool, and I think he actually felt bad, since he knew I was a car-guy. He also knew from our brief conversation that I was a smart-ass, so I commend him for throwing it back at me.

Upon leaving the lot, my first mission was to run several errands around town. To me, that is basically what this vehicle was designed for, so I figured that this would be a perfect opportunity to see how this car serves that purpose.

First on-road impression? I realized going in that this wasn't a "sports" car, so I wasn't looking at it as such. However, the fact that this car seemed to accelerate better in reverse than in Drive, did not bode well.

Second impression? I realized that I did not want to be seen driving this car. While performing the around-town errands I needed to do, I stuck to every little side-street I could, with the hopes that nobody I knew would see me.

Stay tuned for my second-installment, which basically involves a two-day, 150-mile round-trip to Aussiesmg's Compound...

Hey Will great time with you, drinking, blowing E36 M3 up, doing stupid crap, but it all pales beside watching your face as the excitement of 90 minutes at the wheel of 'Sparky' sinks in

DO A BURNOUT!!!! Aside from that good luck you probably need it more then the rest of us.

Yeah, I really needed to just get away from everything for a bit. Alcohol and explosions with good people was a much-needed diversion for me.

It was worth the trip, no matter what I was driving.

So, the trip to Aussie's looms... Now I get to see how this little car deals with some 70mph highway-time... In short, it performed the task that I asked from it, despite the fact that the slush-box could never really figure out what gear it needed to be in. A slight breeze would love the car about 3-feet sideways, but the car is only about 4-foot wide, so I always had plenty of space to play with before being blown into the next lane.

On the bright-side, the Spark delivered me to my destination... But it was no way enjoyable.

Listening to this car drone on-and-on for an hour, I had plently of time to think of ways to describe the driving experience...

The best description that I was able to come up with is having my entire soul being slowly, and painfully, sucked out of me through my rectum.

Tomorrow, I will post my third installment, which will include tales of explosions, and mushroom-clouds... Unfortunately, none of these involved the Spark, because I still needed to get home.

And if you flip my next post to the b-side, I will also talk about how I actuallyhad a "bonding-moment" with this car.

Yeah... that pretty much sums up my impression of it as well, without wasting another 800 words.

We just got one for the wife..... though a 5 speed. Absolutely no sporting intentions but 42 mpg, 100k mile warranty and $9700 was too good of a combination of numbers to pass up. 5 speed makes it driveable at least.

Lesley wrote: Yeah... that pretty much sums up my impression of it as well, without wasting another 800 words.

I guess my mind is just trying to find ways to entertain itself while I'm driving it...

airwerks wrote: We just got one for the wife..... though a 5 speed. Absolutely no sporting intentions but 42 mpg, 100k mile warranty and $9700 was too good of a combination of numbers to pass up. 5 speed makes it driveable at least.

Yeah, a 5-speed would possibly help... A bit.

Honestly, it's not a terrible car to drive. The brakes were fine, and the steering actually had a decent feel, although it was a bit to light for my tastes. But while driving it, I keep thinking about the '87 CRX I used to have. Got rougly the same mpg, and just did everything better than the Spark.

Granted, the old Honda didn't have all the power accesories, and safety items that the Spark does. Unfortunately, to get a vehicle down to this price-point with all of the things that people now expect to be standard on any vehicle, the usefulness of that vehicle for its purpose gets diluted.

For around-town driving, I guess it would be hard to argue with the deal you got on your wife's car. But to me, it seems as though automakers have gone a bit backwards...

I don't know, people that want a sub $12K new car kind of know the car will be a little crappy.

Mr_Clutch42 wrote: I don't know, people that want a sub $12K new car kind of know the car will be a little crappy.

Yeah, but those same people still expect power everything, Bluetooth, and everything else as standard.

So instead of being able to buy a decent little commuter-type vehicle that will be slightly enjoyable to drive, you get an adequate stereo and stuff built into a really crappy car.

And I'must sorry, but there is no reason for inexpensive cars to be so freaking ugly.

Obviously, at a low price-point, I don't expect people to confuse a Spark with a 458 Italia... But it doesn't cost a Helluva lot more to design an attractive car, as opposed to something that looks like it was a 3rd-grade class project at the Stevie Wonder School of Design.

1988 Geo Metro ad states pricing from $5,995 to $7195

This website says that in 2014, that $5,995 would be $12,106 and $7195 would be $14,530
It all seems about the same or maybe a little better.

As I mentioned in my other post, I just test drove 3 of the cars at the bottom of the automotive barrel. Chevrolet Spark, Nissan Versa Note, Mitsubishi Mirage. The Mirage is definitely tinny feeling, felt the cheapest of the bunch. It's selling point is that it's really cheap and comes with standard features the others don't, such as auto climate control, power windows/locks, etc...I was offered the "loaded" model, which has auto trans, Bluetooth, steering wheel controls, push button start for under $12k. The Versa Note felt the most "substantial" in that it felt more solid than the others, but the base car is stripped down. It has A/C, but manual windows, no arm rest. I actually thought the Spark was the most entertaining of the three to drive. It's not Miata fun, but it wasn't terrible. It's slow...seriously slow, but that's to be expected. It had the nicest interior, though I'm not a fan of the body colored plastic trim on the dash. It's not a bad car if you need a point A to point B frugal car.