This would be the same situation at my house. My wife wouldnt want anyone over. I played in bands a bit and totally get "crashing" is important and very normal. Of the people from here I would be less worried about Curtis than others. Some of you could sleep in the garage.
So one night I am walking the dog and meet a man on a bicycle. The kind with lots of bags. A rails-to-trails path passes behind my house, so this is not unusual. He seemed to be looking for something, so I asked if I could help. He said he was looking for a place to eat. Uh oh. Sadly, this time of night, the closest restaurant would have been a significant ride. So I ask where he is coming from and where he is going. He tells me he is from England and is riding across the US to raise awareness for Autism, a condition that he himself lives with. He started at JFK and is headed to LAX. He has been sleeping on the side of the trail and has not bathed in a few days. OK, follow me.
My wife is in the shower and I yell into the bathroom: "honey, I brought an Autistic Englishman home with me for dinner. He is going to crash here, take a shower, and wash his clothes." We heated up leftovers, talked and talked about his adventures, and were not murdered at all. I was honored to be mentioned in his posts about the trip. (https://www.facebook.com/JFKTOLAX/)
pinchvalve (Forum Supporter) said:So one night I am walking the dog and meet a man on a bicycle. The kind with lots of bags. A rails-to-trails path passes behind my house, so this is not unusual. He seemed to be looking for something, so I asked if I could help. He said he was looking for a place to eat. Uh oh. Sadly, this time of night, the closest restaurant would have been a significant ride. So I ask where he is coming from and where he is going. He tells me he is from England and is riding across the US to raise awareness for Autism, a condition that he himself lives with. He started at JFK and is headed to LAX. He has been sleeping on the side of the trail and has not bathed in a few days. OK, follow me.
My wife is in the shower and I yell into the bathroom: "honey, I brought an Autistic Englishman home with me for dinner. He is going to crash here, take a shower, and wash his clothes." We heated up leftovers, talked and talked about his adventures, and were not murdered at all. I was honored to be mentioned in his posts about the trip. (https://www.facebook.com/JFKTOLAX/)
To me, this is normal. It's how I grew up, we took in a lot of people.
The most recent hurricane, I arrived home from work to find a Stetson University student was going to be staying with us. My wife is the costumer for the theater department. The dorms were being evacuated, and he needed somewhere to stay.
Paul_VR6 (Forum Supporter) said:Some of you could sleep in the garage.
I could sleep anywhere.
In reply to Russian Warship, Go Berkeley Yourself :
Dibs on top bunk!
In reply to pinchvalve (Forum Supporter)
Way to go! That's how it's done.
pinchvalve (Forum Supporter) said:So one night I am walking the dog and meet a man on a bicycle. The kind with lots of bags. A rails-to-trails path passes behind my house, so this is not unusual. He seemed to be looking for something, so I asked if I could help. He said he was looking for a place to eat. Uh oh. Sadly, this time of night, the closest restaurant would have been a significant ride. So I ask where he is coming from and where he is going. He tells me he is from England and is riding across the US to raise awareness for Autism, a condition that he himself lives with. He started at JFK and is headed to LAX. He has been sleeping on the side of the trail and has not bathed in a few days. OK, follow me.
My wife is in the shower and I yell into the bathroom: "honey, I brought an Autistic Englishman home with me for dinner. He is going to crash here, take a shower, and wash his clothes." We heated up leftovers, talked and talked about his adventures, and were not murdered at all. I was honored to be mentioned in his posts about the trip. (https://www.facebook.com/JFKTOLAX/)
My nephew was through hiking the Appalachian Trail when the remnants of a hurricane caught him. It had been raining for days and was supposed to continue for another week. He was walking into town when a lady picked him up. She and her husband ended up putting him up for 4 days. They fed him, washed his clothes, and gave him a bed to sleep in. He was extremely thankful, as were his parents.
pinchvalve (Forum Supporter) said:My wife is in the shower and I yell into the bathroom: "honey, I brought an Autistic Englishman home with me for dinner. He is going to crash here, take a shower, and wash his clothes." We heated up leftovers, talked and talked about his adventures, and were not murdered at all.
... says the autistic Englishman typing on your laptop.
In reply to Russian Warship, Go Berkeley Yourself :
The tiny Texaco sign is the perfect finishing touch to that scene.
After talking with my wife, I realized I dismissed her valid concerns. As a white male, I haven't experienced the fears she has—walking alone at night, unwanted male attention, or fearing a knock at the door. Her experiences, shaped by both her personal life and being Jewish, are real. By saying, 'It's just Curtis from the GRM forum,' I minimized her feelings and acted from a place of white male privilege. I was wrong to do so.
In reply to pinchvalve (Forum Supporter) :
Your wife sounds like my mother, lucky you.
I hitch hiked to Robbie's and stayed the night before heading home with Bertie the X1/9. Fed multiple times, showered and met the kids. All arranged before we met, and both my ride out there and I can pass easily for hobos or worse. My mother brought stray people home from Kennedy airport when their flight home to Brazil was delayed. They didn't speak much English, we didn't speak Portogese. Your wife's fears would never occur to me at all.
It would depend on the situation for me. For a random person buying a car or something, I doubt I'd ever think to offer. But for someone on a forum, if it's someone who's been around for a while, is well known on the forum, etc. then I think I'd be fine with inviting them in for dinner or giving them a spot to crash for the night. In my mind Curtis certainly meets that standard.
I met a guy at our club's final race last season and spoke to him for, maybe, 10 minutes. He was racing as a non-member, but has decided to join, and we've had some back and forth over the winter about the upcoming season. He asked if camping was allowed at the track because he lives a couple hours away. I told him to save the $20, he was welcome to stay here. Haven't told PW yet, but she probably won't be too difficult to convince.
vwcorvette (Forum Supporter) said:After talking with my wife, I realized I dismissed her valid concerns. As a white male, I haven't experienced the fears she has—walking alone at night, unwanted male attention, or fearing a knock at the door. Her experiences, shaped by both her personal life and being Jewish, are real. By saying, 'It's just Curtis from the GRM forum,' I minimized her feelings and acted from a place of white male privilege. I was wrong to do so.
Thank you bringing this perspective to the discussion. I also failed to understand her entirely valid reasoning in my response.
That it was Curtis is a factor for me. Even though they've never met, my wife knows him by name, they both are theater professionals (wife is the costumer for Stetson University), and she knows that Curtis and I have had the "wish we lived closer " conversations.
That is my own experience and it overrode my understanding and empathy.
vwcorvette (Forum Supporter) said:After talking with my wife, I realized I dismissed her valid concerns. As a white male, I haven't experienced the fears she has—walking alone at night, unwanted male attention, or fearing a knock at the door. Her experiences, shaped by both her personal life and being Jewish, are real. By saying, 'It's just Curtis from the GRM forum,' I minimized her feelings and acted from a place of white male privilege. I was wrong to do so.
I noticed how you treated her with great respect in the short time I was there. I think if anything, I may have minimized her feelings when I joked about the serial killer thing. She seems like an incredible lady and she was lovely to meet.
It's kind of a bummer, because it totally wilted my plans of killing you both and stashing you in the Prius with the winter tires. 
I recall a few years ago, someone brought me some glass shelves as a layover on a GRM relay. They were in my living room for a while, and Hobiercr was coming to pick them up. I didn't even bat an eyelash when I gave him the code for my door, as I was on vacation for a month. I could have come home to an empty house. He watered my plants, and his wife asked to steal some herbs from the flower bed, which I gladly offered. I insisted they could spend the night if they wished or at least use the bathroom as a pit stop. I've met a lot of forum members, and you've all been wonderful.
I'm.... kinda speechless with this thread.
Curtis as a serial killer? Can't see that.
Now Angry...well...
Oh and never get to close to Adrian when he is wielding a reciprocating saw!
I actually discussed this thread with Mrs Recon the other day. She agreed with me that if it was a well-known GRM'er, we would have no problem with a couch surfer. Someone with fewer references would be offered the cost of a hotel room.
I think there's a "no murdering other forum members" clause when you accept the terms of registration for the site, so you were pretty well covered.
This thread really is the best of GRM discourse. The topic started out as a can you believe this, then someone said yeah I can, then people discussed and saw sides that they didn't previously and everyone left with a better understanding. Not everyone would do the same thing and that is ok because we have all had different experiences and we have different needs.
GRM for the win.
Steve_Jones said:I've let others crash, and have crashed at places when I went long distance to buy vehicles. It's always been a good time.
She just couldn't handle the large bundle of sexiness we call Curtis, and it's showing.
This.
Years ago (like 2010) when I picked up my '91 318is from Levent up at GutenParts in New Jersey (I knew him from way back when R3VLimited was the go to E30 forum). He picked me up at the airport, they had a big party at the shop........much beer and pizza was consumed, I crashed in one of his spare rooms. They took me back to the shop in the morning and I started the long drive back from Cherry Hill, NJ to Tulsa, OK.
Doing 15 hours behind the wheel while severely hungover was a poor life choice, but damn was it a good time. Of course that only got me to St. Louis.
JG Pasterjak said:I think there's a "no murdering other forum members" clause when you accept the terms of registration for the site, so you were pretty well covered.
That explains why some of us are still alive. Hand Hewn, indeed.
Woody (Forum Supportum) said:In reply to vwcorvette (Forum Supporter) :
Wow. As a MegaDork myself, I find this to be personally offensive.
Please make it clear to your wife that she's no longer welcome to spend the night at my place.
She's also permabanned from all of our slumber parties.
What kind of world we live in you can no longer go by an online friend's place you met in an internet Forum and sleep without worry?
In reply to Olemiss540 :
Nah. She's a sweetie. She just cares about vwcorvette a lot.
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