Tech support question of the day

Caller: "Hi. What kind of engine computer do you use in your V8 conversions?"
Keith: "We use the GM computer provided with the GM crate engines."
Caller: "Where's it from?"
Keith: "It's a 2012 Corvette computer with a simplified OS."
Caller: "Oh. How about a (I forget what the name of the aftermarket PCM was)"
Keith: "Sorry, I don't know anything about that."
Caller: "See, I have a 1985 Suburban with a 350 and an LS throttle body running an (aftermarket PCM). I was hoping you could help."
Keith: "Have you called the company that makes the (aftermarket PCM)?"
Caller: "They're closed for the summer break, so I called you."
Keith: "Umm"

To sum up - this was a call for tech support on a vehicle we don't work on running an engine we don't work on using engine management we've never heard of. I wasn't able to help.

Here's everything I know about old SBC engines: the two center cylinders share an exhaust port. Which makes them the same as my old Mini.

Haaah. That reminds me. The Flyin' Miata sticker on my Zx2 confuses people.

Closed for the summer break? Was the PCM some sort of college project?

Keith wrote: Caller: "Hi. What kind of engine computer do you use in your V8 conversions?" Keith: "We use the GM computer provided with the GM crate engines." Caller: "Where's it from?" Keith: "It's a 2012 Corvette computer with a simplified OS." Caller: "Oh. How about a (I forget what the name of the aftermarket PCM was)" Keith: "Sorry, I don't know anything about that." Caller: "See, I have a 1985 Suburban with a 350 and an LS throttle body running an (aftermarket PCM). I was hoping you could help." Keith: "Have you called the company that makes the (aftermarket PCM)?" Caller: "They're closed for the summer break, so I called you." Keith: "Umm" To sum up - this was a call for tech support on a vehicle we don't work on running an engine we don't work on using engine management we've never heard of. I wasn't able to help. Here's everything I know about old SBC engines: the two center cylinders share an exhaust port. Which makes them the same as my old Mini.

Boy, that's poor customer support. Just because someone calls you about a product you don't sell or support, and have never worked with, is that a good reason to decline to help? Damn straight it is

Keith wrote: To sum up - this was a call for tech support on a vehicle we don't work on running an engine we don't work on using engine management we've never heard of. I wasn't able to help.

Why do you have to be such a dick Keith? Why not just help the guy? Why is it so hard to get good service these days?!?

Bryce

Yup, I'm that much of a dick.

To be fair to the (aftermarket PCM) company - we are going to be shutting down our tech support for August 1-3 thanks to our big Summer Camp shindig. But I don't expect our customers to start calling Roush in response.

What's your tech support number? I need help with a Lenovo laptop running Vista and the Microsoft support line stopped accepting calls from my number.

Keith wrote: Here's everything I know about old SBC engines: the two center cylinders share an exhaust port. Which makes them the same as my old Mini.

No SBC ever shared an exhaust port. You may be thinking of Flathead Fords. Non-Ram Air IV Pontiacs had center exhaust ports so close that headers generally only gave them one tube, as well... Same for some Oldsmobiles.

But while I've got your attention, you know Miatas, right? Well, I've got this MGB which is kind of similar, and I'm trying to figure out how to put the carburetor back together. The manual keeps referring to a "carburettor" but I'm fairly sure this car didn't come with one. Can you help me out a bit?

Can't imagine how I made that mistake

You're right, they're just close. It's how I visually tell the difference between a SBC and an LS motor, those center exhaust ports. So obviously I'm not the person you want giving you tech advice on your SBC!

Here's what I know about carburettors: they're like toilet tanks, and hitting them with a hammer is a legitimate troubleshooting technique. Gotta like that. Then again, I'm the guy who figures his irrigation system is basically a big, dirty fuel injection setup.

Keith wrote: Here's what I know about carburettors: they're like toilet tanks, and hitting them with a hammer is a legitimate troubleshooting technique.

I learned that one from the Red Green show.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7nRRykiOGc