Why can't I sell this car?

It doesn't necessarily need to be a short writeup, just a carefully constructed one.

I sold my short lived, horrifyingly rusty (it took many cans of great stuff foam to seal the trunk up) 98 Bonneville for $800 with a SEVERELY hurt motor, took about 2 weeks of being listed, listing was as follows. Dude who bought it drove it home, motor locked up in his driveway, he was a happy camper.

1998 Bonneville 3800 Series 2 naturally aspirated, around 163900 miles, engine is blown, will start and run but oil is full of glitter, loses oil pressure at idle and has a nasty main bearing knock above 2500 rpm. Just installed a Dorman UIM with revised EGR chimney and new metal framed Fel Pro lower intake gaskets. Front tires marginal, rears are great. Some rust, but structurally sound, jack points still solid enough to use, floors all there, etc. Trans shifted great and was just serviced. Rides nice, but needs front sway bar links($10 at oreilly). Front brakes look recent, pulled drums and rears are good too. All power stuff works, heat good, ac unknown. Interior useable but needs a good cleaning and headliner is pinned up. Includes Haynes repair manual. Would make a solid cruiser with a used engine, I just dont want to deal with it any more, $900 OBO. Trade for 90s Corolla, possibly with addition of cash from me, may be considered. Car is parked on REDACTED, somebody is usually home after 3pm to show the car. AS-IS.

Then there were 2-3 pictures of the exterior, taken right where I parked it in the front yard.

Note how I don't explicitly mention the shoddy bodywork, 2 bottles of advance auto knockoff STP oil treatment in the crankcase, AC with no charge left in it, that it's really only structurally sound for another winter or two, the sticky relay that would intermittently keep the dozens of interior lights on when you left the car, the cheap marine battery tray screwed to what was left of the front frame horn, or that it was a smoker car. People expect all of those things on a car like that, no need to remind them of it. Looking back I probably should have mentioned the all new rear brake lines too. Note the lack of desperation/sob story as well.

This is making me feel like trying a social experiment with my miata for sale... no bites at $2015 but im wondering if it will sell for $2k with typical shoddy craigslist description. ..

Your ad reeks of desperation. Try what the posters above have suggested. Also, I live in Ontario and I would not buy a car without a valid E-test. IMO anything above scrap value for a rusted 4 door cutlass and you are ahead of the game. Chalk up your losses as tuition for the next time. Good Luck.

I will be honest, but I mean no insult. 4dr, 150k miles, and comes with a frame rail that you weld in to fix the rusty frame.... In PA, that is a free car for parts. You might get $100 for it in my neck of the woods. Junkyard and $200 is your best bet.

There are millions of two-door, minimal rust, V8 G-bodies around for $500. 4-doors go for pennies. 4 door doesn't make it rare, it makes it unwanted. As a 2-door, a G body is something that G body lovers want. As a 4-door its not even on the radar. So what you're looking for in that price range is a teenager who needs a cheap first car. You are competing with a million Ford Focus and Toyota Yaris cars that offer the same basic price without a rusted frame and twice the MPG and reliability.

The only way to sell a G body is to someone who wants a G body. Since its rusty and 4-door, not gonna happen.

This thread is making me want to try an experiment with craigslist and the drivabeater. See if I can do a crappy ad and make a good profit.

Read enough of your post to know that you are comfortable with composing a sentence and a story. Use your words: Sell the same dream that made YOU buy it in the condition that you bought it. You are way too nice of a person from what I can tell in your add.