Another great CL ad...

http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/1192335505.html

"OK, let me start off by saying this Pontiac is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this GTO would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly. It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop. This car was engineered by roughneck, crocodile killing, dingo screwing, shrimp on the barbie Fosters drinking Aussies to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is). No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 410 RWHP engine to outrun the cops. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The GOAT also has a six speed transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time getting 23MPG. It's saved my bacon more than once. It has room for you and the three hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by Al Qaeda. My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $15,900, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $5,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore. There's only 59,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo. Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash. To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants."

Wonder what his GRM screen name is.....

Great ad.

Brilliant

I've never been so moved by written word as I am right now

This is stolen almost word from word from an SUV ad that was going around last year. So manly he has to borrow other peoples work

Chest hair, SUV in the same sentence?

this was a fun parade until it started raining...jeesh

:rolls eyes:

I am almost certain that the GTO never had 410 RWHP...most likely crank HP....

im pretty sure he has some engine work done....

...real men do that...

Adrian_Thompson wrote: This is stolen almost word from word from an SUV ad that was going around last year. So manly he has to borrow other peoples work

Real men don't do creative writing.

Wasn't this from the Exterra ad?

Dingo screwing? A guy tried that at the local SPCA last year and went to jail. He looked more like a sad guy who couldn't get a date than any kind of a 'real man'.

5.7 GTO has 350 hp the 6.0 has 400, 410 might mean he added a K&N

That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab....just awesome

Dude! Brock Samson is selling his GTO!

(for those of you who don't know http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wl-JlDfz_dQ)

Redhornet wrote: Dude! Brock Samson is selling his GTO!

lol That made me go back and re-read it with Brocks voice.. I must buy this car..

i still like this one:

"You forgot this when you dismantled and stole the rest of my wife's bicycle on Saturday. Anyway, we've removed the lock now, so it's yours for the taking. Jerk. "

My new favorite add... Stop the Keyword Abuse. BTW, Be sure and read the keywords...

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/1156764465.html

Clay wrote: My new favorite add... Stop the Keyword Abuse. BTW, Be sure and read the keywords... http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/1156764465.html

thats the best Craigslist ad i have ever seen!!!

oh, heres another good one...

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/pit/1145392897.html

I will pay you $1 USD to sit in my bathtub full of noodles while you wear a one piece bathing suit.

I will not be home, nor will anyone else while you do this.

I will leave the key for you, and you will sit at your leisure.

I will require at least a 5 minutes stay.

A neighbor will watch the front door from across the street and using a supplied stopwatch, will time your entry and departure.

Please supply your own footwear.

The noodles will be cooked, and therefore slippery.

DO NOT bring any sauce. I will season the pasta after I return home prior to dinner.

This is a bizzare one!

I have a family of taxidemied hamsters for sale. They are perfect for the kid who wants a hamster but you know damn well won't take care of them. Just buy a cage, pose them in it and tell the kids to enjoy. If the kids ask why they aren't moving just explain to them that happy hamsters keep still. These hamsters were originally bought with love and taken care of very well. Then, as is usually the case with my little ba**** kid, he lost interest and kept forgetting to feed them. One by one they dropped off. I couldn't bear to flush these cute things down the toilet so I bought a taxidermy kit and stuffed them. The best part about these guys is that they won't soil the cage or cost anything in food! They'll just give hours of pleasure like live hamsters. Call or e-mail me with an offer so that you can begin your new life as a hamster owner! [number deleted] http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/rcs/1127138244.html

E36 m3!!

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sdo/968512408.html

Fit_Is_Slo wrote: E36 m3!! http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sdo/968512408.html

I bet his neighbors love him!

Fit_Is_Slo wrote: E36 m3!! http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sdo/968512408.html

Never has "E36 m3!!!" been more appropriate.

This guy is the smart ass I aspire to one day be. http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/1157378129.html