My favorite quote is : “If you loan a person $20 and you never hear from that person again, it was worth it.”
I can’t fathom loaning a car to anyone after hearing many many stores just like yours.
My favorite quote is : “If you loan a person $20 and you never hear from that person again, it was worth it.”
I can’t fathom loaning a car to anyone after hearing many many stores just like yours.
I'm so glad that you got the car located and in a safe place. I've been waiting to see it since you sold me the tires and wheels for my NB.
Now I know why.
I've had similar experiences with my brother, only he wrecked the car (which had agreed to buy), then told me he shouldn't have to pay for it because it was wrecked.
Many, many, much worse things have happened between us. My goal is to never see or speak to him again, and that's working out well (for me).
I had a fender roller. HAD. It got bent, and later stolen, by people who I considered friends. I decided to nuke it from orbit when I left town. I don't have any of those friends left. Good thing too- one of em decided to knock up my ex wife and now she's their berkeleyin' problem.
Driven5 said:Justjim75 said:So much for going to the Challenge for my birthday
It sounds like marriage counseling might be a better investment anyway.
You mean divorce attorney?
My wife worries that I only have 5 or 6 friends.
Maybe she needs to read this so she can understand.
ShawnG said:My wife worries that I only have 5 or 6 friends.
Maybe she needs to read this so she can understand.
Same. I’ve got my 2 brothers, 2 close friends, and my cousins. That’s it for me.
I used to help my best friend with a lot of stuff, before he moved out of state. Motorcycle maintenance, home improvements, fixing stuff at his rental properties (we'll come back to this). We'd go on motorcycle road trips, and he'd cover the hotel rooms, with points he'd accumulated on a credit card. Seemed fair to me.
Then, about three years ago, he moved out of state. He didn't sell his rental properties, however. I'd get a call, "Could you do me a favor, and go collect the rent, please?" Or, "Xxx is vacant and needs to be shown to prospective tenants, could you help, please?" So, I'd willingly go take care of his business. These properties were in da hood, btw. 
[Sidebar] I'd also put him up for a weekend, frequently, when he'd come back for company conferences or training.
The boiling point of all of this came about, when I waited over an hour, for a no-show prospective tenant, and missed an opportunity to do something with my family.
I. WAS. BERKING. LIVID. I called him, and told him flat out that I was done doing this for him, giving him the reason why. He said he understood and apologized profusely for the inconvenience.
Since then, though, I seldom hear from him anymore. Eh. <shrug>
Patrick said:Driven5 said:Justjim75 said:So much for going to the Challenge for my birthday
It sounds like marriage counseling might be a better investment anyway.
You mean divorce attorney?
If the first reaction is to see a marriage counselor, then there might be more to the story than is being recognized.
If the first reaction is to see a divorce attorney, then there is definitely more to the story than is being recognized.
Either way, between a marriage counselor and a divorce attorney, only one will actually help people figure out what the rest of the story actually is, so that they can decide how to proceed based on the cause(s) of the problem and not just the symptom.
I have a very small group of friends that I consider family. These include someone who flew in from Australia and became our wedding photographer because ours ended up sucking bad....and refused to charge me.
I figured out awhile back that not allowing toxic or......subpar people into your life is the way to go. Every moment that you are dealing with these sorts of people is a moment lost to further or better your life.
Indeed. I just loaned a few power tools and hand tools to a buddy including a Motive Power Bleeder. I got back a brand new bleeder because the gauge on mine rusted a little while it sat on his garage floor. It didn't even stop working at all, it just got a little rusty. so he kept the one with the rusty gauge and bought me a brand new one. I'll take it! It's discouraging to hear all these stories of people taking advantage of friends generosity. You can never be too careful I suppose.
In reply to RealMiniNoMore :
FB memories just reminded me that 10/6 was the day that he and planned to take a day off of work, and ride across the state for lunch. He texted early in the morning that he had a couple of work related things to take care of would be over "shortly". My FB post was "I should've just left on my own. I'd be in southern Illinois, by now." I posted that at 3pm, still waiting for him.... 
ShawnG said:My wife worries that I only have 5 or 6 friends.
Maybe she needs to read this so she can understand.
I have quite a few friends, spread out over a number of years and various hobbies. Granted, very few of them ever ask anything from me and me of them. I have one friend who is my "computer nerd" friend who helps me with computer issues. But when I need help, I travel the hour to his house and buy him and his wife dinner for the trouble. I also try to help him with car projects. My old bass player from my band is still a good friend, but we don't get together very often.
My ex- had very few friends other than some coworkers and some mutual friends from our car clubs. It was strange sometimes.
Driven5 said:Patrick said:Driven5 said:Justjim75 said:So much for going to the Challenge for my birthday
It sounds like marriage counseling might be a better investment anyway.
You mean divorce attorney?
If the first reaction is to see a marriage counselor, then there might be more to the story than is being recognized.
If the first reaction is to see a divorce attorney, then there is definitely more to the story than is being recognized.
Either way, between a marriage counselor and a divorce attorney, only one will actually help people figure out what the rest of the story actually is, so that they can decide how to proceed based on the cause(s) of the problem and not just the symptom.
When we were dating I explained that due to having an abusive mother with truth problems the only thing I can't handle is lying. "No matter what it is, as long as I can trust you we can work it out". She said " absolutely, I never lie"
That was the biggest lie she's told me. Now I'm just trying to hold out 4 more years until my son goes to college. He's making honor roll taking AP classes at Magnet school (nerd school we call it) and doing really well in soccer and goes to church twice a week. I don't want a divorce to change things because they're going so well for him
Edit: Sorry, that may be TMI. I wish I only had a e36m3ty Friend screwing me, easier to walk away from
Sorry Jim. I was once in a relationship like that. Fortunately, it went nuclear before any rug rats showed up. If you can stick it out for 4 years for the kid, good for you. Meanwhile, you MUST protect yourself and the child, financially and emotionally. Good luck.
Just a quick update on the OP issue. Locksmith came and cut a new key for the car and with a jump box, it fired right up! Sounded fine. When the rain stops I'll throw a trickle charger on it to hopefully bring the battery back up!
That's great news!
In reply to Dr. Hess :
Thanks. Im kind of amazed at how relieved I am to say that to strangers
Jim, my opinion: if you’re going to try to hold out for 4 years, try to fix the relationship. Which means she’ll need to try to earn your trust again, and you’ll need to learn and understand WHY she lied (which is not say there was a good reason, but there was a reason)
If you and she are not willing to work on the relationship, I don’t see the point in holding out for kiddo. I’m of the opinion that seeing parents in a less than loving and all-in relationship is detrimental.
all my opinion worth less than the paper it’s written on.
The relationship has been strained for a while, but my son still is doing very well. I cant help but think a major change would be negative since my career and my son's school and extra curricular activities couldnt get any better. That may be part of my wifes problem really, everyone is kicking ass but her.
But mtn, we agree on so much! Lol
Sorry for thread jacking, back to your regularly scheduled program
berkeley, jim.
berkeleyity berkeley berkeley berkeley.
Im here if ya need me.
I van say, however, that Jenn and i came close to divorce. I was living with my parents for a minute before marriage counseling. It worked for us, but both of us WANTED it to work. Still a long, hard process. But i got my best friend back at the end of it, and have kept her. Worth every second and penny.
When my friend of 30 years was in a tough spot and losing his apartment I stepped in. I rented him a storage space, a uhaul and moved all his E36 M3 into storage and set him up in our guest room so he could get things sorted.
It's been 7 berkeleying months. He has done absolutely zero to sort himself out. His dog is a jerk. He is always HERE. I am cranky. I have had the talk with him that he has to get out. This was never intended to be a long term thing.
I can't be responsible for another of the many homeless people on the streets, so I suck it up. My wife was over it months ago. She stays at work 10 to 13 hours a day just to not be here.
I have explained that it is a problem. He is apologetic and swears he is working on it.
He doesn't even know how to load a berkeleying dishwasher.
At this point he stays upstairs most of the time. It's not like that helps.
I don't recognize my refrigerator anymore . Strange "food" clogs it up. He is supposed to be selling his belongings that are in storage. And manages to get just enough to pay for the next month
His only income is food stamps and my bottle and can deposits (my nightly beer consumption has dramatically increased lateley). In the summer he leaves the doors open when ac is on and now that it is cold the same with the heater.
Again. I can't just add him to the already huge local homeless population.
I'm so over it. I want my life back. I just don't know any other options.
Jumper K Balls (Trent) said:When my friend of 30 years was in a tough spot and losing his apartment I stepped in. I rented him a storage space, a uhaul and moved all his E36 M3 into storage and set him up in our guest room so he could get things sorted.
It's been 7 berkeleying months. He has done absolutely zero to sort himself out. His dog is a jerk. He is always HERE. I am cranky. I have had the talk with him that he has to get out. This was never intended to be a long term thing.
I can't be responsible for another of the many homeless people on the streets, so I suck it up. My wife was over it months ago. She stays at work 10 to 13 hours a day just to not be here.
I have explained that it is a problem. He is apologetic and swears he is working on it.
He doesn't even know how to load a berkeleying dishwasher.
At this point he stays upstairs most of the time. It's not like that helps.
I don't recognize my refrigerator anymore . Strange "food" clogs it up. He is supposed to be selling his belongings that are in storage. And manages to get just enough to pay for the next month
His only income is food stamps and my bottle and can deposits (my nightly beer consumption has dramatically increased lateley). In the summer he leaves the doors open when ac is on and now that it is cold the same with the heater.
Again. I can't just add him to the already huge local homeless population.
I'm so over it. I want my life back. I just don't know any other options.
I did that with a close friend a few years ago. After 18 months I finally threw him out but let him store his mom's stuff here after she passed away. The stuff is still in the basement amd he still doesn't have a real job. I can understand this deeply, my wife is really understanding but she hit her breaking point at about a year .
My wife's friend was moving here from California and asked my wife if she could stay with us until she got settled. My wife asked me, I said no. My wife kept asking, I kept saying no for exactly the reasons you guys have gone thru.
Trent, BTDT. 4 years. When his child showed up to live here too, that was the last straw. I suggest you move him out of your house before it destroys your life/marriage. Point him at California. They LOVE the homeless there. Free everything. He is NOT YOUR PROBLEM.
Anyway, the wife now understands that if anyone shows up with their E36 M3, they have 7 days. On day 8, I put all their E36 M3 on the porch, followed by them, and lock the door. I also explained that I don't care if it is 15 below zero and there's 2' of snow on the ground.
In reply to Jumper K Balls (Trent) :
You can’t help someone that will not help themselves. Is he worth losing the wife over? Give him a deadline and stick to it, not your problem.
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