To talk a friend out of getting engaged to a psycho? One of my friend's is talking about getting engaged to this complete nut because he doesn't think he can do any better... I want go into crazy details but anyone who tries to grab a knife in her "sleep" isn't marrying material.
Magic words "I just tapped that. Sorry bro."
Nothing like a crazy chick in the sack (speaking from experience.) My guess is that he too is having trouble seeing past this.
^ Word
If you really love this guy you gotta hit that and take out a billboard/make a video.
Good luck!
On a very serious note, I'm in a remarkably similar situation. A very dear friend of mine is about to marry an emotionally abusive partner. I'm hurting a LOT. 
The answer is, find non-confrontational ways of holding a mirror up to his/her face that would show him/her what they're in for. If they still choose the psycho, you have done your best. If you emphatically and persuasively talk them out of it, they will never respect that you saved them from doom. If you do nothing, you won't feel like you did your best. Holding up a mirror lets them objectively see things. If they choose the psycho and then leave her, at least they'll respect your advice after the fact.
Our souls are not here to persuade, they are here to guide by example. Be the best guide you can be and let the individual choose their own path. It is your job to show them the path. They may not choose it, but at least you offered your guidance.
I went through this with a close friend about 4 years ago, and he wouldn't listen to me, his family or anyone else that could read the tea leaves. Now he is living alone in a tiny little cottage, has almost zero contact with his family, and lost his daughter who is in the care of his parents over this douche nozzle. She has been removed from the house, and he has a restraining order against her. He saw the light, and is getting his act together slowly. Now has his drivers license back, bought a cheap Grand Cherokee, and from what I hear he went to see his daughter on Christmas.
We all knew she was going to ruin his life, but he wouldn't listen. I hope he will in the future. I am not sure you can really do much, but try I guess. I know we did, but to no avail. Sometimes people just have to make their own decisions in life, and live with them. I hope for your friends sake he will at the very least listen to what you have to say. Don't Bob Costas-foot around it, come right out and say what you mean. I did, and it fell on deaf ears, but I can sleep at night knowing I tried at least. Good luck.
If this nutcase is sleeping with a knife (even in her dreams) he needs to run like hell. Better to be alone than to live with something like that. I know first hand; I made that exact mistake, it just wasn't truly apparent till later. 
How to do it? I don't know. I wish I could tell you, if it could save him what my kid and I went through it would be worth it. But I just don't know.
In reply to Curmudgeon:
She doesn't sleep with a knife she sleep walks to the kitchen and gets one. She also is the master manipulator. One of my and his friend's (a girl) and her have had a few disagreements over things. And my friend said to her I am done dealing with you and she said well I guess you don't want to with my friend. One of 8 million stories I could tell.
Here are the two things I've learned in life:
1: I don't know anywhere near as much as I think I do.
2: People are going to do whatever the berkeley they want.
You're buddy is berkeleyed. Sorry. Save money for a kickass divorce party, and hope they don't have kids.
In reply to poopshovel:
Yeah that is kinda what I figured. I am going to attempt to convince him one last time then my next goal is to try to get him to make a prenup,
There's not much you can do. Have a man-to-man talk with him, then be prepared to not have your friend anymore. In these situations, people almost always insist on learning the hard way.
Also, guys tend to side with their psychogirls in the face of logic and reason. Remember that guy that found out his wife had some extra flavoring down there, and that she had been cheating on him for awhile? He decided to "work things out."
Reading between the lines here, I have two buddies who married psychos because both women TOLD them they were getting married and bullied them until it happened. The pain eventually caused to many people including two children is almost unimaginable, all because these guys weren't man enough to say "I need to wait." If you sense he has any doubts, which he almost certainly does, you can tell him truthfully that the ONLY reason to get married is that you really, really want to be married and that letting yourself be pushed into marriage is a 100% guaranteed disaster...he owes more to himself and to her and to everybody in both famalies. If he has any doubts, he can always wait a while and see how things develop. It may not help, but it has the virtue of being the truth.
P.S. In both cases, the red light for everybody watching was that these women did not respect the men, nor did they pretend to, a common trait of sociopathic people. If that's going on here and you can get up the nerve, you might point it out and comment that it sure won't get better. He'll hate you for it, of course.
One of my closest friends went through a situation like this and made it out. It was really tough on him. The girl was berkleying nuts. She held everything over his head. She had to know where he was 100% of the time. When they met, he lived with another friend who was a cop. The guys went out to a bar and my buddy didnt answer his phone. When they got back to the house, she had broken in an was sitting in the dark in the kitchen, waiting.
He wasnt perfect, never abusive, but every time they got in an argument, she would call the police...and then me. I was needed to come over and pick up my buddy before the police got there. Not gonna happen. She was abusing, and harrassing him one night to the point that he made a terrible decision, to drive drunk. He got in the scariest wreck Ive ever seen (the aftermath of). His built 5.0 went roof first into a huge oak tree and folded in a U-shape. He wasnt hurt bad, but the DUI/Speeding/Other points killed. Well she worked at a law office answering phones and promised him that she would be able to let him use the lawyer for next to nothing. This never happend. He had to jump through so many hoops and sacrifices for nothing.
The first time that he tried to move out, she held his cat hostage. (He loves that cat) Then she called the police saying that he was trying to "break in" to their shared appartment. I was there to help him move. He eventually did get his stuff and cat and moved home. The last I saw of the girl was 4 months after they broke up. She tried to crash my wedding. She was forcibly removed by security at the hotel we were at. (Just a small detail: The guy updates his location on Facebook all the time) After the wedding, at the reception, I saw her run at him with an angry look. Between him and my groomsmen, she was carried outside and security was told not to let her back in.
She also had a fake pregnacy to keep him, and then had an "abortion" after an argument.
They were together for 3 years and during the good times, even wanted to get married. I am glad for his sake that they didnt. Good luck with your buddy.
The only real question here is whether he's going to hate you now or hate you later. If you push hard enough, he's going to hate you now and walk away from, if not end, the friendship. On the other hand, if you say nothing, or soft-sell how big of a problem this is, he's really going to hate you later on. Eventually (and usually, waaaaaay to late - i.e. after the jointly owned "dream home", dog and 2 kids didn't fix the problem), he wises up. When he wises up, its apparent that this has been inevitable all along. With that realization comes the equally stunning realization that everyone around him had to know this was inevitable. Then he hates you and everyone else who didn't intervene.
Sadly, there are no magic words. Even if you get him to recognize and acknowledge the problem, don't assume that's going to solve it. I work on divorce/custody cases for a living, often one's that involve the some level of abusive/crazy/manipulative behavior by one (or both) parents. I've also worked on several thousand domestic violence cases over the years. I've had people sit in my office and perfectly articulate what a crazy, dangerous, unstable person they are married to/dating/involved with. Unfortunately, the vast majority won't end those relationships despite fully recognizing the risks. If you can't save him from the marriage, at least try to get him to put off having kids.
Have a friend who got hit with that bullet.
He was with a psycho, still dating she dumped him for a few months because in a passing conversation he said something about thinking prenups were a good idea in general... They got back together.. He wanted to wait to get married until he finished grad school, she pushed him to propose several months before he graduated.
Then she got pregnant...
Then she left him. (2 weeks before the wedding) He has no idea of anything thats going on with her. She shouldn't have had the baby yet, but any inquiry (even of the lightest kind) is being called harassment. Shes back with her parents and they have stated that if he showed up there AT ALL they were calling the cops. He has no idea if shes still pregnant, if its a boy or a girl, anything. Hasn't heard a peep in months.
Yeah, the BSC (Bat-E36-M3-Crazy) is strong with that one...
Wish I could have successfully derailed that one before they got back together and he could have avoided the recent drama.
Poor guy has had 2 engagement rings returned in his life.
He needs better taste in women.
I dated that girl in HS. Cheated routinely (I was oblivious), pathological liar, told me she was pregnant (wasn't), did drugs, etc etc etc. Should have hit it and moved on. College (and the associated freshman drunken decision-making) saved me; made some questionable choices, decided I needed to tell her about it, she flipped out and dumped me, tried to come back a week later but I'd seen my opportunity to flee and had taken it. Never looked back.
My friends and family all say that they told me over and over and over to get the hell away from her. I have no recollection of any of these discussions whatsoever. I confronted a friend about it later ("why didn't you tell me to kick her ass to the curb, you jerk?") and he went OFF on me something fierce. We're still friends, and I try to do a better job of listening to what my friends and family have to say now.
Clear your conscience of it now, whatever that entails, and be ready to be there for him when it comes crashing down around his ears.
Got a wedding I'm in tomorrow. I'd rather finish up the Ranger tonight, but have to take care of wedding E36 M3.
at least they were returned
poopshovel wrote: Here are the two things I've learned in life: 1: I don't know anywhere near as much as I think I do. 2: People are going to do whatever the berkeley they want. You're buddy is berkeleyed. Sorry. Save money for a kickass divorce party, and hope they don't have kids.
This is probably the best advice.
Voice your opinion in a way that shows you are concerned, but let him know that you're his friend and will back him up because that is what friends do.
Psycho sex is the best. Face it, your buddy's screwed!
Totally shooting in the dark here.
Tell him you are going through a rough patch and need a buddy. Take him out constantly and get him drunk and then to strip clubs. Maybe she'll get so pissed she will go apeE36M3 and scare him off.
not a bad plan 
It is best to air your concern to your friend. The friend will agree that she has some flaws but is getting better with his help. He will get married and be miserable wether he admits it or not. I have had this discussion 3 times now, 2 divorces and one sad marriage are what remain.
Leykis 101
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