Can we talk? -->No. No we cannot.

Not seeking sympathy in any way, just a few observations.

I'm not being antisocial, I just can't talk. I lost my voice about two months ago. It never came back.

I was sick. I had bronchitis, which turned into pneumonia. They brought along their pal laryngitis. I missed one day of work and almost everything was back to normal before Thanksgiving. I've felt fine for a long time now, but I still have no voice.

I've been to the doctor five times since the beginning of November. I have two more appointments scheduled. On two occasions, they put a camera up my nose and down my throat past my Adam's Apple. I had to sing for them (say "eeeeeeee", now high "eeeeeee" ((nothing)), "aaaaaaa", high "aaaaaaaa", sniff and swallow). Fortunately, there is no cancer, no polyps and no fungal infections.

I have been diagnosed with "muscle tension disphonia". Translation: I hurt my voicebox, and I started doing bad things to accommodate it. I'm using accessory muscles to do it, and speaking just makes it worse. Next stop is a speech pathologist.

I really feel fine. I can speak in the morning, but by noon, my voice is gone. Like, nothing.

So for now, My ENT doctor has encouraged me to use my words sparingly. I have been instructed to speak like President Obama. He pointed out, correctly, that our current president speaks fairly softly, using few words at a time, and pauses between phrases. The actual words don't matter. Fair enough.

Finally, through my conscious effort to speak less, it becomes dramatically obvious how much we talk simply for the sake of filling the empty silence.

I now run every sentence through my head before opening my mouth, and ask myself if my thoughts really need to be verbalized. Not surprisingly, most do not.

What becomes even more obvious when one speaker is removed from the party, is, in the presence of others, how few of their thoughts really need to be verbalized.

So much unnecessary noise...

Again, I'm not seeking any sympathy. I'm not suggesting that anyone is missing out on my poignant observations or witty retorts. Just a few observations from an accidental Ellen Jamesian.

No physical voice, but you're still fully functional at blowing hot air on the interwebs

I tend to not say much most of the time myself, but I always thought that it was some sort of defense mechanism of my psyche that told me what most people chatter on about is just noise and adds little to no value.

Sorry to hear about your issue Woody and hope you get your voice back.

as somebody who does not speak a lot, I know exactly what you are saying. I need a job in Finland, those people are stereotypically quiet and introverted

So, is it contagious?

If so, I know a couple of people I would love you to hang out with.

Woody got a hex on him

in college i had friends who were vocal majors. One of them went on a full 6 month no-talk streak while her vocal cords healed from some problem. We all learned to ask primarily yes and no questions so she could answer by nodding or shaking her head.

Most people would benefit (dramatically) from thinking through their sentences before verbalizing their thoughts.

Woody can still make Say What tho.

Good luck w/ recovery.

T.J. wrote: Sorry to hear about your issue Woody and hope you get your voice back.

^Stop that. But thanks.

Toyman01 wrote: So, is it contagious? If so, I know a couple of people I would love you to hang out with.

I can get you some tickets to a couple of shows here if you promise to hang out with the crew!

Toyman01 wrote: So, is it contagious? If so, I know a couple of people I would love you to hang out with.

I have been assured that it is a muscle thing and not a viral, bacterial or fungal thing. Fortunately, or unfortunately, not contagious.

Here's hoping you improve soon.

And kudos for the Ellen Jamesian reference

I'm one of those nonstop talkers. Like a shark, constantly swimming to live, if I stop talking, I sink to the bottom of the pool and die. I have all these rad thoughts that I want to share with everyone. If I couldn't speak, my head would explode.

I wish you the best. I'll talk extra hard to make up the difference.

Same thing happened to John Mayer a few years ago. He cancelled entire year's worth of tour dates and recording sessions in order to heal his voice. But it did come back, and now he sounds as good as ever.

Woody wrote:

"I now run every sentence through my head before opening my mouth, and ask myself if my thoughts really need to be verbalized. Not surprisingly, most do not."

I do this too, in a conscious effort to say fewer dumb things and sound more like how I think a normal person would sound. The vast majority of the time I still wind up sounding like a creepy dumbass.

Woody wrote: Not seeking sympathy in any way, So for now, My ENT doctor has encouraged me to use my words sparingly. I have been instructed to speak like President Obama. He pointed out, correctly, that our current president speaks fairly softly, using few words at a time, and pauses between phrases. The actual words don't matter. Fair enough.

You'll be needing a teleprompter then. I'll keep an eye on D.C. GOV Deals after Jan 20 to see if the TOTUS shows up.

That's something else, Woody. Best wishes for a full recovery.

You can't talk, I can't drive, it sounds like the makings for an epic roadtrip. Though I'd come off a bit as your wife.

WildScotsRacing wrote: Same thing happened to John Mayer a few years ago. He cancelled entire year's worth of tour dates and recording sessions in order to heal his voice.

Same here. I had to cancel an entire year's worth of tour dates and recording sessions too.

Having just been through this after a neck surgery where the intubation was apparently more than a little rough, a speech therapist can be a big help. I was also using my voice improperly due to the injury caused by the intubation. I still do vocal exercises daily and my voice is back almost 100%. In my case it took 8 months of vocal therapy, partly because I'm a singer. The key is re-learning to use your vocal muscles properly. Good luck and be patient.

captdownshift wrote: You can't talk, I can't drive, it sounds like the makings for an epic roadtrip. Though I'd come off a bit as your wife.

Get well soon Woody. I can't imagine not talking.

It has the makings of a great 80s buddy comedy. Throw in a bizarre early movie car accident so the doors are stuck shut and now you can only stop at Drive-Thrus.

I talk way too much, I've really have to work on consciencly picking my words.

Woody wrote:

WildScotsRacing wrote: Same thing happened to John Mayer a few years ago. He cancelled entire year's worth of tour dates and recording sessions in order to heal his voice.

Same here. I had to cancel an entire year's worth of tour dates and recording sessions too.

I should probably give Jennifer Aniston a call before this gets any worse.

Woody wrote:

Woody wrote:

WildScotsRacing wrote: Same thing happened to John Mayer a few years ago. He cancelled entire year's worth of tour dates and recording sessions in order to heal his voice.

Same here. I had to cancel an entire year's worth of tour dates and recording sessions too.

I should probably give Jennifer Aniston a call before this gets any worse.

It can't hurt.