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noddaz
noddaz SuperDork
1/4/18 1:03 p.m.

Customer states, vibration when barking.

 

Sometimes, repair orders make me laugh...

SaltyDog
SaltyDog Reader
1/4/18 1:06 p.m.

Get the customer a bark collar?

Keith Tanner
Keith Tanner MegaDork
1/4/18 1:23 p.m.

Customer states: car sits high in the nose with our springs. Engine is removed.

thatsnowinnebago
thatsnowinnebago SuperDork
1/4/18 1:48 p.m.

In reply to Keith Tanner :

How'd they fit a Miata in their nose at all?!

Furious_E
Furious_E SuperDork
1/4/18 2:07 p.m.

In reply to thatsnowinnebago :

Im laughing my ass off right now because this reminds me of something dumb a friend said back in high school. Group of us was hanging out, scrolling through rotten.com (if anyone remembers that) and we come across this x ray of a guy with a whole potato and fully intact jar of jelly lodged in his rectum. While the rest of us are freaking out ("Aww, dude, that's NASTY. What the berkeley?!?!?" ect) my buddy just stares at it blankly, then after a long pause goes "Well how'd he swallow the whole jar of jelly?" 

Armitage
Armitage HalfDork
1/4/18 3:11 p.m.
underpowered
underpowered New Reader
1/4/18 8:05 p.m.

Customer states: Engine makes noise when it's running.

Customer states: A button doesn't work

Customer states: Bog after 5400 rpm (in 5th or 6th gear)

Customer states: Driver side door hing does has become unattached

underpowered
underpowered New Reader
1/4/18 8:13 p.m.

Customer state: car start would go into gear turn off attempted to start would up wait a few min. but start right back up and ran find check and advise

 

Copied word for word, and yes, trying to read that one made my head hurt !

1kris06
1kris06 HalfDork
1/4/18 8:33 p.m.

In reply to underpowered :

The problem with that is usually operator error between the keyboard. Whether that is the service advisor or the call center making appointments.

SaltyDog
SaltyDog Reader
1/4/18 8:36 p.m.

I ran and later owned alignment shops for about a decade, 1980 to 1989.

I had a good, repeat customer for a good portion of this time who was, well, a really big woman.

REAL big, like 400 - 500lbs. Really.

She would complain that her car, a big full size Lincoln of mid '70's vintage, would pull to the left. I would drive it, no pull.

Next day the same complaint. I finally tweaked the caster so it had a slight pull to the right. She drove it and said it was perfect.

Then her husband came in complaining the car pulled to the right. And if they were both in it with him driving, it pulled hard to the right.

That was an awkward conversation to say  the least.

 

 

Rufledt
Rufledt UberDork
1/4/18 8:40 p.m.

In reply to SaltyDog :

Did you get out of that without getting punched by either person?

Pete Gossett
Pete Gossett MegaDork
1/4/18 8:52 p.m.

In reply to SaltyDog :

There's a local lore about a similar situation - only it involved the horn coming on sporadically. I'll let you piece the rest of it together...

SaltyDog
SaltyDog Reader
1/4/18 8:53 p.m.

In reply to Rufledt :

Barely!

I actually had her sit in the back seat and move from one side of the car to the other to prove why the car would pull,

I did tell her that it was a common issue even though I honestly think that was the only time I had it happen.

 

pilotbraden
pilotbraden UltraDork
1/4/18 10:55 p.m.

When I was 19  I had a job at a Lincoln Mercury dealership. I overheard a conversation between the service writer and a customer. Customer said that the leaner was broken. Without missing a beat the writer said why don't you show me exactly what is wrong.  When he came back I asked him what the hell is a leaner?  He said that he had no idea when the customer said that so he wanted to see it. It is the folding armrest between the front seats in a town car

 

aircooled
aircooled MegaDork
1/4/18 11:26 p.m.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Appleseed
Appleseed MegaDork
1/5/18 12:10 a.m.

In reply to aircooled :

That's been around since the Wright Brothers. Never fails to make me LOLZ.

crankwalk
crankwalk Dork
1/5/18 12:30 p.m.
SaltyDog said:

I ran and later owned alignment shops for about a decade, 1980 to 1989.

I had a good, repeat customer for a good portion of this time who was, well, a really big woman.

REAL big, like 400 - 500lbs. Really.

She would complain that her car, a big full size Lincoln of mid '70's vintage, would pull to the left. I would drive it, no pull.

Next day the same complaint. I finally tweaked the caster so it had a slight pull to the right. She drove it and said it was perfect.

Then her husband came in complaining the car pulled to the right. And if they were both in it with him driving, it pulled hard to the right.

That was an awkward conversation to say  the least.

 

 

If your weight is causing noticeable tire wear issues on your Lincoln Continental, that's a perfect time to invest in a gym membership. wink I wonder if she later upgraded to an air ride Mark Viii 

Streetwiseguy
Streetwiseguy UltimaDork
1/5/18 2:24 p.m.
SaltyDog said:

I ran and later owned alignment shops for about a decade, 1980 to 1989.

I had a good, repeat customer for a good portion of this time who was, well, a really big woman.

REAL big, like 400 - 500lbs. Really.

She would complain that her car, a big full size Lincoln of mid '70's vintage, would pull to the left. I would drive it, no pull.

Next day the same complaint. I finally tweaked the caster so it had a slight pull to the right. She drove it and said it was perfect.

Then her husband came in complaining the car pulled to the right. And if they were both in it with him driving, it pulled hard to the right.

That was an awkward conversation to say  the least.

 

 

Dude with fat wife, and fat daughter, needed the conversation to tell the fat daughter to sit behind Dad, not behind Mom.

Appleseed
Appleseed MegaDork
1/5/18 3:44 p.m.

Think of the cross-weights, corner to corner, on that boat of a Lincoln. Yikes!

warpedredneck
warpedredneck Reader
1/5/18 3:54 p.m.

In reply to SaltyDog :

i had a similar situation with a largish gentleman, i had him sit in it when i finally figured out how big he was.

after realigning with him , it was fine..

stanger_missle
stanger_missle Dork
1/5/18 4:50 p.m.

When I was working at one of the local auto repair shops as an "LOF Technician" AKA Shop Bitch, one of my repair orders said "Ride with Ester, listen to the noise".

It was an elderly woman in a Buick. As I just did oil changes and minor stuff, one of the mechanics had to ride with her. It was a bad rear strut.

Our service writer would just put down whatever the customer said, verbatim. Most of the time it was gibberish barely resembling English.

tr8todd
tr8todd Dork
1/5/18 5:26 p.m.

Customer states they lost electricity and have no heat.  Wants to know if she should keep the water running a bit in every faucet so pipes won't freeze.   Ah OK, you have a well and a pump that runs on electricity.  How long do you think that water is going to run?

EastCoastMojo
EastCoastMojo Mod Squad
1/5/18 5:53 p.m.

In reply to tr8todd :

Opening the tap will cause the water pressure to drop as some water will backflow down the well feed pipe, thereby reducing the water level in the housepipes. If they do freeze they are not as likely to burst. Once the power comes back on, the well may require priming before water will flow again, depending on the depth of the well, but it might prevent significant damage. laugh Unintended benefits

 

Customer states: intermittant wipers only work intermittantly. I actually had this issue on my old caravan. They would swipe once and then stop working for like 5 minutes. Then swipe 3 or 4 more times and quit altogether. Unfortunately sold it before fixing the issue.

Appleseed
Appleseed MegaDork
1/5/18 7:04 p.m.

In reply to EastCoastMojo :

Getting rid of it seems to be the traditional way of fixing Caravans.

EastCoastMojo
EastCoastMojo Mod Squad
1/5/18 7:36 p.m.

In reply to Appleseed :

I miss that turbo van. 

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