N Sperlo
N Sperlo MegaDork
7/6/15 7:15 a.m.

The alligator was just defending itself. The last thing I would call this is an "attack".

KMOV said: A Missouri man is dead after he was attacked by an alligator in southwest Texas Friday. Tommie Woodward, 28, was heard mocking the alligator before jumping into the water. A sign was posted by the marina where the fatal attack happened. "No Swimming. Alligator." The man jumped in anyway and his body was recovered around 4:30 a.m.
captdownshift
captdownshift UberDork
7/6/15 7:24 a.m.

I thought everyone knew to throw a stick into the water for a dog to retrieve if you aren't sure if alligators might be present in the area.

BenB
BenB Reader
7/6/15 7:49 a.m.

Runner up: the guy in Maine who died while launching fireworks off the top of his head.

SilverFleet
SilverFleet UltraDork
7/6/15 8:19 a.m.
BenB wrote: Runner up: the guy in Maine who died while launching fireworks off the top of his head.

I thought for sure this thread was going to be about this genius when I clicked on it. 22 years old, gets drunk, and tries to light a mortar off of his head.

Ian F
Ian F MegaDork
7/6/15 8:37 a.m.

It looks like 2015 will be a tough year for the Awards committee.

SilverFleet
SilverFleet UltraDork
7/6/15 8:51 a.m.

Speaking of fireworks and being smart...

http://www.si.com/nfl/2015/07/05/jason-pierre-paul-fireworks-injury-new-york-giants

Best part: I'm pretty sure the Giants placed the Franchise Tag on him for next season, and he has yet to sign his tender, making him basically unemployed right now. Smart move!

Giant Purple Snorklewacker
Giant Purple Snorklewacker MegaDork
7/6/15 8:56 a.m.

In reply to SilverFleet:

He is a 2 time pro bowler and if the Giants don't sign he is an unrestricted free agent. He has a boo boo on his hand. He will be playing football in 2015.

Appleseed
Appleseed MegaDork
7/6/15 9:40 a.m.

I'm waiting for the death of an aligater that was heard mocking a firewirks mortar.

mad_machine
mad_machine MegaDork
7/6/15 10:24 a.m.

so.. half way through the year and already it is hard to pick who the real winner will be. This does not bode well

T.J.
T.J. UltimaDork
7/6/15 10:27 a.m.
SilverFleet wrote:
BenB wrote: Runner up: the guy in Maine who died while launching fireworks off the top of his head.
I thought for sure this thread was going to be about this genius when I clicked on it. 22 years old, gets drunk, and tries to light a mortar off of his head.

Me three. I like surprises though.

oldeskewltoy
oldeskewltoy UltraDork
7/6/15 10:48 a.m.

wish my Lewis and Clark University student neighbor would have tried launching their mortar off their head.......

yamaha
yamaha MegaDork
7/6/15 11:26 a.m.
T.J. wrote:
SilverFleet wrote:
BenB wrote: Runner up: the guy in Maine who died while launching fireworks off the top of his head.
I thought for sure this thread was going to be about this genius when I clicked on it. 22 years old, gets drunk, and tries to light a mortar off of his head.
Me three. I like surprises though.

We had two to add to the list of Darwin. Unfortunately both probably reproduced before hand. http://fox59.com/2015/07/05/marion-man-killed-in-fireworks-accident/

Wally
Wally MegaDork
7/6/15 2:52 p.m.
SilverFleet wrote: Speaking of fireworks and being smart... http://www.si.com/nfl/2015/07/05/jason-pierre-paul-fireworks-injury-new-york-giants Best part: I'm pretty sure the Giants placed the Franchise Tag on him for next season, and he has yet to sign his tender, making him basically unemployed right now. Smart move!

Injuring himself with gunpowder? He's Giants material alright.

trucke
trucke Dork
4/14/16 2:33 p.m.

The predictable moment a man shoots himself in the hand when trying to get his gun’s laser-sight working

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3540310/What-possibly-wrong-predictable-moment-man-shoots-hand-trying-gun-s-laser-sight-working.html#ixzz45pb1O7jE

Ouch!

Jay
Jay UltraDork
4/14/16 2:40 p.m.

This line is genius:

KMOV said: [...] The man jumped in anyway and his body was recovered around 4:30 a.m.

I love how it segues directly from "the man jumped in anyway" to "and his body was recovered..." in a completely matter-of-fact manner. Whoever wrote that bit deserves a Pulitzer.

mtn
mtn MegaDork
4/14/16 3:16 p.m.

I realize this is almost a year old now... but surely they meant southeast Texas? Somehow I don't see a lot of alligators hanging out in the desert.

bearmtnmartin
bearmtnmartin Dork
4/14/16 6:52 p.m.

I thought this thread was back to talk about mr. lawnmower.

http://www.usnews.com/news/articles/2016-03-29/georgia-man-blows-own-leg-off-while-shooting-at-lawnmower-filled-with-tannerite

Or does it count if you live?

mad_machine
mad_machine MegaDork
4/14/16 7:35 p.m.

doesn't count... you have to remove yourself from the genepool.. but is there a loophole for completely emasculating yourself so you cannot reproduce?

man shoots self in groin

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