Dealing with Anxiety

You are entitled to feel adrift after your last adventure.

This is light hearted, but it contains a real grain of truth...and I do know that its not this simple.

In life, there are only two things to worry about—

Either you are well or you are sick. If you are well, there is nothing to worry about, But if you are sick, there are only two things to worry about—

Either you will get well or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing to worry about, But if you die, there are only two things to worry about—

Either you will go to heaven or hell. If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about.

And if you go to hell, you’ll be so busy shaking hands with all your friends You won’t have time to worry!

Have you thought about furious masturbation several times day? It usually takes the edge off. So I hear. Cough. Cough.

Huckleberry wrote: Have you thought about furious masturbation several times day? It usually takes the edge off. So I hear. Cough. Cough.

Its obvious you missed the circumcision thread ...

Slippery wrote:

Huckleberry wrote: Have you thought about furious masturbation several times day? It usually takes the edge off. So I hear. Cough. Cough.

Its obvious you missed the circumcision thread ...

Go ahead Huckleberry, take a gander at the “sensitive subject” thread…we’ll wait.

RX Reven' wrote:

Slippery wrote:

Huckleberry wrote: Have you thought about furious masturbation several times day? It usually takes the edge off. So I hear. Cough. Cough.

Its obvious you missed the circumcision thread ...

Go ahead Huckleberry, take a gander at the “sensitive subject” thread…we’ll wait.

Way ahead of you guys.

Generally, I'm one of the first in these threads. I have extensive experience in the subject. I've unfortunately been down this road several times.

The short answer is, there is no cureall. All you can really do is to learn to mitigate the symptoms. Strangely what helped me the most was my divorce and losing pretty much everything. As i look back on our seperation that happened nearly a year ago, i understand now just how much my ex wife put on me stress wise. Simply put, i couldn't trust the one that was supposed to br closest to me. I refused to believe it at the time, but it is readily apparent now.

That anecdote aside, there are things you can do to cope. Drugs can help, especially if sleep is an issue. But they're not a total solution. The biggest thing you can do is learn to cope and get past it. I could write a book about what I've experienced, but the short version is...

Learn to distract. The less you focus on your anxiety the less prevalent it is. Skateboarding is an excellent choice, because it takes total focus. Can't be worried about cash when you're trying to land a pop shove, ya know?

Learn what causes it. For you, and what I've gathered, work is a big deal for you. It was for me too. Then I went and threw my career in the trash and worked 80hrs a week at two E36 M3ty jobs i liked for minimum wage. Strangely that amount of work distracted me from my other huge problem. Can't be mad at the wife when you're literally never home.

Realize you're only human. No one likes to talk about this E36 M3. Ask anyone that knows me on a personal level, they have no idea what's going on....but im right there with you. You'd be amazed at how many people share it.

I also (admittedly) went through a program called dbt therapy. Loved it. Its based on a lot of eastern philosophy and physical redirects. Once a week, 3 hours at a clip for about a year. Ended when i left Minnesota, having successfully burned down my life post marriage. Those skills alone have put me better off than ive ever been, allowing me to sleep without medical intervention for the first time in nearly a decade. Anxiety is still very real (im actually actively avoiding some inbound houseguests as we speak) but im a lot better off.

Huck, bringing a whole new meaning to the fast and the furious.

BeerBaron, I can say that from my experience the anxiety comes on when I have not invested in myself. Whether that be in the form of exercise, adequate rest, reading a book, or endulging in something that truly makes me happy such as masturbating furiously. When all of your time is spent making other people happy the soul gets restless. Make time for you.

Watching thread with intrest. My stress is either high or insanely high. What sucks is the fact that i'm doing it to myself and dont know how to stop.

Lifting weights always helped me burn off any excess energy and made me sleep much better. Take the emotion you feel and use it to fuel self improvement. Just counting reps/sets can help clear your mind and calm you down.

Just be responsible with it and don't do things beyond your skill/fitness level. An injury could set your progress back.

Gearheadotaku wrote: Watching thread with intrest. My stress is either high or insanely high. What sucks is the fact that i'm doing it to myself and dont know how to stop.

Doing what to yourself? One of the key components to a good panic attack/anxiety disorder is a tendency to forecast and catastrophise. Ie- E36 M3 im late for work so the boss is gonna fire me then the wife will leave me because im worthless and ill lose my house and end up sleeping in a tent behind walmart. Obviously that is an extreme example but its sort of how it starts. It was my downfall for sure. Constant, Neverending, crippling worry. One of the things i regularly work on (and i have helped swmbo 2.0 deal with) is being able to rationalize things. If im late, am i really gonna get fired or...is the boss even going to notice? Or just learning to accept facts as they. Most people go through fairly significant emotional trauma following a divorce. Am i good enough, etc. Honestly, mine was cake. When the wife said she wanted out, i knew she'd made up her mind and i could do nothibg to change it, so i didnt waste an ounce of energy on fighting. No fear, nothing. I packed my E36 M3 and i did something for me, for once. Was i hurt? Absolutely. Nearly a year later and it bugs me. But spending any time or thought on iy isn't productive, and therefore is not a priority. Same can be said of anxious thoughts. Worrying about if your house is gonna get struck by lightning isnt a very effective use of time. Last i checked no one could control the weather. Mother nature do what she wants. So....acceptit mighy, but probably wont ever happen and move on.

mndsm wrote:

Gearheadotaku wrote: Watching thread with intrest. My stress is either high or insanely high. What sucks is the fact that i'm doing it to myself and dont know how to stop.

Doing what to yourself? One of the key components to a good panic attack/anxiety disorder is a tendency to forecast and catastrophise. Ie- E36 M3 im late for work so the boss is gonna fire me then the wife will leave me because im worthless and ill lose my house and end up sleeping in a tent behind walmart. Obviously that is an extreme example but its sort of how it starts. Constant, Neverending, crippling worry. One of the things i regularly work on (and i have helped swmbo 2.0 deal with) is being able to rationalize things. If im late, am i really gonna get fired or...is the boss even going to notice? Or just learning to accept facts as they. Worrying about if your house is gonna get struck by lightning isnt a very effective use of time. Last i checked no one could control the weather.

I edited your response down a bit, but yes, that's me. I do my best to bottle it up but some days the cap comes off and its embarrassing.

Don't want to de-rail the thread, thanks for the insite everyone

I was having bad anxiety a few years ago bad enough to start effecting my health. It all centered around one person. My doc put me on some meds, which helped, but made me feel like a zombie. The final cure was completely removing that person from every aspect of my life.

I hope you find some peace soon. It's a terrible thing to deal with.

Have you considered volunteerism while you are sidelined?

Gives you something daily to do and succeed at. Keeps you working and producing. Keeps your mind engaged.

I volunteered for 10 years full time. Perhaps that is a statement on my own mental health!

Just an armchair quarterback here. Good for you for recognizing the problem- Get some professional help.

SVreX wrote: Have you considered volunteerism while you are sidelined? Gives you something daily to do and succeed at. Keeps you working and producing. Keeps your mind engaged. I volunteered for 10 years full time. Perhaps that is a statement on my own mental health! Just an armchair quarterback here. Good for you for recognizing the problem- Get some professional help.

Great idea! I did a habitat for humanity day through work a month or two ago, and probably 3-4 folks there were just people between jobs looking to stay busy and help out.

I had a great time that day.

Go walk the length of the Appalachian trail. That will keep you out of trouble for a few months and reduce your life down to the basics.

dculberson wrote: My wife is a psychologist and has - in research - found it amazing what mindfulness meditation can do for stress and anxiety. I keep meaning to try it. Don't think of it as doing nothing or your mind thinking of nothing - it actually is quite a lot more than that. A lot of the activities we do are us trying to keep our mind from processing things it needs to process. Meditation gives it the room to actually work and can be a difficult and painful thing to go through but has very positive results for stress reduction. They are doing a ton of research on it right now and finding lots of good things. It's not all "chakras and chi" but rather "make room in your mind for it to function properly." If you're interested at all, I could ask her to give me some book recommendations. She is, above all, a scientist and does not much go for woo. So I have a lot of respect for the meditation thing.

This. Was going down a similar road a while back and used the free bennies offered by my employer to take advantage of 5 free visits with a therapist. Best thing I could have done at the time. Just had a lot of pressures coming in at me all at the same time (work pressures, issues at home, lots of home projects, couldn't sleep, no time for anything fun, etc.). Mindfulness to the rescue. You do need time to yourself just to get "centered". Forget what's happened in the past, don't freak about the future. Just. Think. About. Now.

And of course there is an app for that! Look for an app called Calm. Worked for me. It may take a while because sometimes we get to a point where the mind is just running, thinking, rethinking, same paths over and over. Even when you're exercising, you might be thinking thinking thinking about stuff. Need time to empty the melon, get centered on yo bad self.

Seems to work in my sample size of 1. My work life has gotten even more chaotic, lots more responsibilities, and stuff that used to just throw me into a fit of rage (well, really not that bad but you get the idea perhaps) isn't so dramatic. Issues with mrs orphancars which I thought were world ending aren't so world ending anymore. They are just things to get resolved. They are just life.

And if any of the above doesn't work, well, yeah, there is always furious masturbation to, err, fall back on

Finally pinned my wife down on those book recommendations. She said her favorite practical book is Mindfulness in Plain English. It's written by a Buddhist monk but not written as a Buddhist text. It is instead a very nuts and bolts practical guide to mindfulness meditation.

A more in depth but also more intimidating book is Full Catastrophe Living. Good book but probably beyond what you're trying to accomplish here.

My wife and I take a restorative yoga class (1:15 hour) once a week which is a great opportunity to turn off. Minimal poses with deep stretching and a focus on breath work really helps allow the mind to just relax.

dculberson: Does your wife believe that mindfulness can be taught/learned? My wife (also a Psychologist, but not a clinical one) has worked on this in her own life.

Speaking of mindfulness mediation programs. I'm using this one right now and so far I think it is very helpful. It helped a friend tremendously a few years ago and he was actually recommended it by the UK national healthcare system so it is pretty legit: https://smile.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1609618955/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1469912328&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=mindfulness&dpPl=1&dpID=41V9Ds-LbpL&ref=plSrch

dculberson wrote: Finally pinned my wife down on those book recommendations. She said her favorite practical book is Mindfulness in Plain English. It's written by a Buddhist monk but not written as a Buddhist text. It is instead a very nuts and bolts practical guide to mindfulness meditation. A more in depth but also more intimidating book is Full Catastrophe Living. Good book but probably beyond what you're trying to accomplish here.

These are both excellent books.