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Javelin
Javelin MegaDork
1/17/20 4:14 p.m.

Y'all know everything else so I might as well ask here. Anybody work in the diamond or jewelry business? I know the basics like the 4 C's and cut is the most important and all that jazz. I need to know where to actually buy one. Nobody seems to want to carry anything in stock and I'm not comfortable plunking car money down online for a rock.

mtn
mtn MegaDork
1/17/20 4:25 p.m.

Find out where your local-ish Jewelers row is, and find a wholesaler. Google will help. There won't be a storefront, it'll be an office or an apartment, you'll get buzzed in and there will be 5 locks on the door. A guy behind a desk, probably the owner (and a 90% chance this person owns a yarmulke, 30% chance he's wearing one) will ask what you want and how much you want to spend. He'll go to a safe behind the desk, open it, pull a file out of it, in the file is a manilla envelope, in that are smaller ones or ziplock bags. He'll pull the diamond out of there to show you. If he doesn't have what you're looking for, he'll show you the same thing just bigger/more expensive, then get the size that you can afford ordered for you. 

 

Alternatively, start hitting up pawnshops for ugly mens rings with good diamonds in it. Or get a Cubic Zirconia. When I bought my wife's engagemnt ring 7 years ago, I spent 2 challenge cars. Up until about 1.5-2 years ago I would have done the same. Now I really wouldn't care about it. I don't think my wife would either. But at hte time it was the right decision and put in the same position I would have done the same thing. 

nderwater
nderwater UltimaDork
1/17/20 4:32 p.m.

Used jewelry is often pennies on the dollar compared to retail.  Gold is gold, but diamonds depreciate from MSRP as soon as the buyer leaves the shop.  Second-hand sites like DiamondBistro offer a mixed bag of stones and pieces at discount prices.

Datsun310Guy
Datsun310Guy UltimaDork
1/17/20 4:41 p.m.

Jewelers Row?  LOL.  What mtn states is exactly what we did in 1987 in Chicago.  You had to know a guy.  It was hilarious but we got a great deal.

It felt so slick but he sold us the diamond first then we talked about the setting.  I suggest this if you can.  

John Welsh
John Welsh Mod Squad
1/17/20 4:44 p.m.

In reply to mtn :

Totally agree. 

My only add is to buy your own loupe. Amazon has many and the lighted ones look interesting.

The stores will hand you a 10x loupe. I had been lent a 15x and brought my own. The advise I got was when the store hands you a diamond and tells you it is a vs2,  pull out your own loupe 15x and just repeat back to them with questioning inflection,  "This is a vs2?"

It had the powe4 to change the sales tactics. 

 

John Welsh
John Welsh Mod Squad
1/17/20 4:48 p.m.

Also, buy used diamonds!

They're all thousands of years old. 

It's a false market.  All the used stuff is worth nothing and all the new stuff costs a fortune.   The reality is it's all used.

mtn
mtn MegaDork
1/17/20 5:07 p.m.
Datsun310Guy said:

Jewelers Row?  LOL.  What mtn states is exactly what we did in 1987 in Chicago.  You had to know a guy.  It was hilarious but we got a great deal.

It felt so slick but he sold us the diamond first then we talked about the setting.  I suggest this if you can.  

Same thing I did in 2013.

Javelin
Javelin MegaDork
1/17/20 5:21 p.m.
John Welsh said:

Also, buy used diamonds!

They're all thousands of years old. 

It's a false market.  All the used stuff is worth nothing and all the new stuff costs a fortune.   The reality is it's all used.

Flipping brilliant! Why didn't I think of that?!? So, uh, ebay? Craigslist? Where do you find such things?

mtn
mtn MegaDork
1/17/20 6:32 p.m.
Javelin said:
John Welsh said:

Also, buy used diamonds!

They're all thousands of years old. 

It's a false market.  All the used stuff is worth nothing and all the new stuff costs a fortune.   The reality is it's all used.

Flipping brilliant! Why didn't I think of that?!? So, uh, ebay? Craigslist? Where do you find such things?

Yes, along with pawn shops, Facebook markets, possibly estate sales... I also think there is a website specifically for used diamonds. 

yupididit
yupididit UberDork
1/17/20 6:44 p.m.

So why do we say used diamond if there's no such thing? 

Antihero
Antihero SuperDork
1/17/20 6:51 p.m.

Is this for an occasion or?

 

If it's for an occasion there other things to consider

bluej
bluej UberDork
1/17/20 6:56 p.m.
Javelin said:
John Welsh said:

Also, buy used diamonds!

They're all thousands of years old. 

It's a false market.  All the used stuff is worth nothing and all the new stuff costs a fortune.   The reality is it's all used.

Flipping brilliant! Why didn't I think of that?!? So, uh, ebay? Craigslist? Where do you find such things?

When my ex fiance and I broke it off, she gave the ring back. I sold the diamond, but still have the ring. PM if at all interested and I'll send pics (once I dig it out again).  Trade me something interesting and it's yours. I still think it's a beautiful setting.

Dr. Hess
Dr. Hess MegaDork
1/17/20 7:02 p.m.
mtn said:

Find out where your local-ish Jewelers row is, and find a wholesaler. Google will help. There won't be a storefront, it'll be an office or an apartment, you'll get buzzed in and there will be 5 locks on the door. A guy behind a desk, probably the owner (and a 90% chance this person owns a yarmulke, 30% chance he's wearing one) will ask what you want and how much you want to spend. He'll go to a safe behind the desk, open it, pull a file out of it, in the file is a manilla envelope, in that are smaller ones or ziplock bags. He'll pull the diamond out of there to show you. If he doesn't have what you're looking for, he'll show you the same thing just bigger/more expensive, then get the size that you can afford ordered for you. 

 

Exactly what we did 33 years ago.  "Little Jerusalem," more or less, in west Houston.  Have cash. "And I'll appraise it at anything up to 3 times the purchase price."  That's because if you bought it at a "jewelry store" like at a mall, that's what they would charge for the exact same stone.  Then point to a setting you want in a catalog and he'll have it ready for you the next day.  Don't see anything you like, go to the one next door and get buzzed in.  We got ours from someone with a name like "Juan Epstein."  Personal hint:  Go for size and color over clarity.  People don't pull out loops to look at your finger.  A nice E color, or almost/even D with an occlusion in a larger size will knock people's eyes out.  Unless that's not what you want.

Mr_Asa
Mr_Asa Reader
1/17/20 7:24 p.m.

Diamonds are an artificial market.  Completely fabricated by DeBeer's.  This episode of explained on Netflix does a fairly good job of walking through the racket https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11356968/

 

Anyways, what that means is that you can troll pawn shops and such and get a fairly good rock for a really good price.  Did that for the wife, sold the gold from the rings to the jeweler that made the ring and ended up with a fairly nice ring.

Cotton
Cotton PowerDork
1/17/20 7:47 p.m.

I bought my wife's engagement ring off bluenile.com around 16 years ago.  You could pick the setting,  then the diamond and look at all the grading reports etc for each diamond back then.  It was pretty cool,  got exactly what I wanted,  and she still loves the ring and setting.  At the time it was new motorcycle money for me,  so instead of a new bike I bought a ring and rode my high miles yzf600 for several more years.  It all worked out in the end though.

classicJackets
classicJackets Dork
1/17/20 7:58 p.m.

Look for moissanite. My fiance and I went with this instead of a diamond. Price is way better than a diamond, still looks fantastic, and doesn't have some of the typical drawbacks associated with cubic zirconium or other fake diamond. My 2¢, we were both happy with it!

Brett_Murphy
Brett_Murphy UltimaDork
1/17/20 8:23 p.m.

You could always buy a different stone. Diamonds are only traditional because of the work De Beers did in the early 20th century. It's really a load of crap, with prices kept high because of a monopoly on distribution. Several people I know went with colored gems, like emerald or ruby because they're interesting. If nothing else, they get noticed more than a diamond because they are different. If you want a shiny, clear stone, moissanite looks better, wears better and is less expensive.

If you want a diamond, I agree with the others who advised to get a second hand stone. This might sound awful, but check Craigslist, Facebook marketplace and the pawn shops near Joint Base Lewis-McChord. 
 

1988RedT2
1988RedT2 MegaDork
1/18/20 7:09 a.m.

It's been over 18 years, but I bought through bluenile dot com.  Pleasant online shopping experience.  The ring appraised for well more than I paid for it when I needed a number for insurance purposes.  If nothing but a diamond will do--and for many that's true--consider shopping online from a reputable site.

The trouble with buying used is verifying the quality.  You'll absolutely have to pay a jeweler the 50-ish bucks to get an appraisal before you buy.  That number will likely be bonkers high, so don't show it to the seller.  LOL. 

Good luck!

Toyman01
Toyman01 MegaDork
1/18/20 7:25 a.m.

My wife is still wearing the same ring I bought at a pawn shop 33 years ago for $150. I'd start there. I would also go for color and size. 

I know you hate Amazon, but Houston Diamond District on there has some decent pricing as well. I have bought some stuff for the wife from them.

Antihero
Antihero SuperDork
1/18/20 5:59 p.m.

Also something other than a diamond could be cool, my wife wanted sapphires and hates diamonds.

 

There's a cool story there but I won't hijack

93gsxturbo
93gsxturbo SuperDork
1/19/20 9:59 a.m.

I did the sucker thing and went with my then-to-be wife to a jewelry store and let her pick what she wanted. 

Honestly I couldn't tell a difference between princess cut, cushion cut, etc.  but you bet your sweet bippy she could.

Only thing I was insistent on was a platinum setting vs a white gold setting - because of reasons.

Don't really care about the money, the ring (and the wife) would be a bargain at any price.  

1SlowVW
1SlowVW Reader
1/19/20 10:49 a.m.

My wife and I married young, no engagement ring, she found a ring she really liked at a chain store but it was about 2000$...not in the cards for recent grads.

We found a jeweler in the city that deals in diamonds but also does settings and repairs on site. They built us the ring for about 800$ neither my wife or myself could tell any difference from the one it was modeled after. 

jwagner
jwagner New Reader
1/19/20 11:02 a.m.

I bought an antique filigree engagement ring a long time ago when we were broke students with the intent of replacing the imperfect diamond when we had more money.  That time came, but somehow the imperfect diamond never left. 

Now I'm of the opinion that I wouldn't buy into a marketing campaign - which is what I see diamonds as, but that might not play well with the lady on the receiving end.  (Don't think I have to worry about that...)  If I were to consider a diamond these days, it would definitely be synthetic.  They're cheaper, perfect, and don't carry any baggage.  Apparently de Beers is now selling synthetics with the intent of differentiating the market between mined and synthetic and that's made synthetics much less expensive.  Not sure how that will play out in the long run, but for now it makes synthetics a better buy.

There's a generational thing with diamonds too.  My kids and their friends won't have anything to do with them due to concerns about the stones being mined, blood diamonds, child labor, etc..  The Atlantic has done a bunch of articles on diamonds and the de Beers campaign history and it's worth reading before you sink $$$$ into a chunk of carbon.

https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/02/how-an-ad-campaign-invented-the-diamond-engagement-ring/385376/

https://www.sfchronicle.com/style/article/The-diamond-of-the-future-is-here-now-It-was-13654035.php

 

 

bearmtnmartin
bearmtnmartin SuperDork
1/19/20 12:04 p.m.

My wife picked hers out and it is a cubic zirconium. What ever that is. But still married twenty years later.

Fueled by Caffeine
Fueled by Caffeine MegaDork
1/19/20 12:18 p.m.

I went to jewelers row in philly and went to a small old store.  I got an ok deal. Didn't negotiate much.  Every time a jeweler handles their stone now they usually say wow. 

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